Not trying
To be alone
I crave
A connection

Wanting
To put in
Earphones
Disconnected

Can't find
The right song
To listen to
Loss of focus

Can't find
Anything
To consume
Loss of appetite

Constricted
By the muscles
Under my skin

Tension
Adds to the room
When others walk in

Looking out the window

Thinking about how it was a good day

Chasing the little bit of light that is left

But my eyes can only go so far
  

Catching the last bit of sunlight

Being sure it can't get away this time

Hoping they didn't forget about me and this is it

Only if my problems could drift away like this..

When you walked in the room
I think time froze
I lost my thoughts
I forgot my next move

My hand remained in the bag
My lips remained chapped
Unable to chew
Unable to swallow my food
I became a statue

I turn the music on  
And the lights off
I try to write a poem
My ink lights up on the wall  
  
Finally silence in my brain  
I take moments away  
To remove the ceiling and dive into the ocean above  
   
Wind replaces the fan  
Leaves fall on my bed  
Some flowing down in and out of streams of moonlight  
Before they finally hit the floor  
   
The dots in the sky then connect back into a cage
There's no longer laugh lines on my eyes    
Just wrinkles on my face  
   
The moonlight fades  
Silence turns back into screams  
Reality kicks in  
Hopefully the leaves are still on the floor.. at least.

Geek's Journal

I embarrassed myself
By making that odd move
In front of that beautiful girl
While her eyes were on me

Now I sit here by myself
Under the moon
Away from the world
My pain will never be seen

Against the wall
Crying  
Below my knees
No one can hear me
 
Countless tears crash into the ground  
But no one feels the ground shake
They're too far away

Screaming so loud
Looking at red seas in my reflection  
My hands. my tears cover my face..
 
The door opens
And I walk back into the crowd  
No one will ever know what happened

I need a new outlet
I need a new outfit
Cuz I'm burning out
And soon I'll be naked

My clothes are burning off
But then you'll see my heart
When these flames burn off my skin
So I'll think twice about it.

Tossing rocks into a lake
To see if they skip
Like my heart every now and then
When I see your beautiful face

Looking at the leaves in the water
The beauty in this world is only getting smaller
Finding it hard to keep my eyes off you
'Cause my love for you is only getting stronger

Your age
Your ways
So many reasons..
I don't deserve you.

Maybe it's the moments we shared
The times we spend
How beautiful you looked with the sun in your hair
This evening.

I hope you never find out.
(I hope you never do.)
But I hope you don't mind
The love I often find for you