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Oculi Nov 2017
Just lies
Both sides
Who were you to me?
I've died,
Survived,
Why do you hate me?
I tried
I tried
When did I hurt you?
This odd norm
I transform
Did you ever love me?
I did love you
But no more, you
Knaves, stabbing my back
Instead of just loving me back
Do I deserve this?
I do deserve this,
I don't deserve this,
I am eternally puzzled.
One thing's for sure:
For all I care, you can rot in Hell.
Oculi Nov 2017
Dedicated upon a precipice
Like Perseus I'm merciless
Like Sisyphus I make a fuss
Like Helios I'm at a loss
I lose myself like Odysseus
And compare myself just like Janus
Like Hephaestus I'm a smith
But I make only my destiny
The rest is all useless to me
In life I'm like Callypse
Kalopsia, the mind's eclipse
But most of all I am the Lord's
Brother, who's thrown at the swords
Hades of the underworld
For I am all but of this world
Seeing Earth as lifeless mounds
Of dead, I throw myself to hounds
Oculi Nov 2017
Wonder
True wonder
I see myself over yonder
The future is a promise that cannot be broken
My soul is a machine that cannot be broken
My love of life is an entity that cannot be broken
True wonder rarely approacheth
But it doth give me a sense of accomplishment
I'm finally happy
And I finally
Slowly sink
Into pink
Oculi Nov 2017
I don't understand how
I don't really see now
Eyes are just half-open
I just feel like copin'

I'm indoors to recover from outdoors
My mind's all gone as it's on its all fours
Am I abstract or do people just interpret
Things all wrong? I have to tell them stat

I'm just a tired old man with a young mind
Just getting my thoughts out there, do you mind?
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so harsh on you
Just stop the praise and go and do what you do
Oculi Nov 2017
7PM
Purple and twisting
It's a house party
Who the **** are all these *******
Where the **** am I even
I know George, he seems concerned with me
Holding his red cup like it's a shield
The guy never did anything but support me
I bet he's afraid of what I can do
But it's early, I'm all over
Nothing has even begun yet
A bottle of whiskey in one hand

9PM
No shapes and no faces
This tiny room of many people
Enjoying the mindless noise or some music
Dancing like there ain't no tomorrow
Twisting in shapes like they're fabric in spaces
Tiny pills and tiny tabs of destruction
My life's disgusting and collapsing
I know these nameless nobodies but do they know who I am
Two empty bottles, one in each hand

Midnight
It's on fire, but it's dark blue
I'm taking turns dying and spacing
A huge floor underground full of nameless something
Clearer than before, but still not too clear
Ben flicks the switch and they all disappear
I drop my two bottles confused as I'm here
I can feel the air looking at this husk of me
Tabs and needle in my arms

2AM
I'm seeing people, real people
I know who they are
They can't see me killing myself with what's real
They're too busy drinking and feeling life clear
Colors more vibrant than ever before
I'm bleeding from both of my hands

5AM
Aaron and Zoltan and others are speaking
Discussing things that are still inside reason
I'm looking for more acid, looking for *****
I want to end myself, it's the path I choose
I smash all the 40's and glasses on walls
The shards hit me everywhere, bleeding, no stalls
But I'm grey all over, no colors on me
So I guess this is what reality be

7AM
All these ******* are sleeping
I'm awake and that's keeping
Bleeding, high and drunk, I am just about ready
There's no more substance but time's keeping steady
My system is clearing, reality makes way
Amid illusions and fear, I find it's my birthday
Ironic that it's so, right now, don't know why
But on this sacred day, I wake up and now I die
Oculi Nov 2017
The toilet's right next to it yet you still **** in the shower
Your man is at your party but you're still a ******* coward
Your life is flipping burgers yet you still get extra hours
Your boss was your old boyfriend, now your friends are all his plowers

You have nothing to live for, you're no problematic fave
You're taking all you can and in the trash goes what I gave
I stayed with you for long enough, thought you were mine to save
All you had was track marks but I was your ******* slave

You aren't with me anymore and you have nothing in store
You aren't something special, you're a loser, ****** *****
Being a huge enigma's all you got, it's all your lore
I wish I could forget you, I am not you anymore
Oculi Nov 2017
Lightning strikes, I hold my head
Left
Just look forward, nothing's bad
Right
Took everything that I had
Up
Did nothing but make me mad
Down
Feel like fire, I ain't dead

You know, we're the artifacts
We're the future, that's a fact
Steel yourself, not over yet
I will ****, you wanna bet?

Incoherent screaming
Clap
Bloodied to the core
Clap
Don't forget the feeling
Snare
Succumb to the gore
Break
*****, you're dead!
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