though, so incredibly hard to say,
i think i killed myself today.

no, it wasn't the gun i thought it would be,
and it wasn't the pills i bought to be free.

it wasn't the candles or the gasoline,
it wasn't the running into a limousine.

i think it was me in my bed so late,
unwilling to behold my fate.

my eyes slipped shut and they haven't opened yet.
but that would be lucky, and i'm alive, i bet.

just wait until tomorrow, maybe we'll see
what i can really do to me.

now i'm just a ghost in your bed
can you feel me where i used to lay my head
do you miss me
i hope you miss me

the threads connecting us
to our loved ones
need to stay strong
like spider's silk
to survive this battle.

to me,
you are
an art

                              to you,
                              I was
                              a tragedy

it was quiet here yesterday
the rain came and dripped
with noises outside the back
i looked out to see the gutter
slipped and listened to the
sounds

looked at the wet glistening
on the ivy

wedged the cloth to soak
the water up then lit the fire

done some drawings
&
cookings. a pleasant
day for me

comparing large dresses

hoping that all will be
well

with morse

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time