Dear death,

I have met life,
He wants me to fight,
But I'm so weak-
So can we meet?

We don’t see the carrots to be cut,
We see the sharp knife that could cut us.

We don’t see the bridge,
We see the other side of the railings.

We don’t see painkillers,
We see medication we could drown ourselves in.

We don’t see the train,
We see the tracks we could lay on.

We don’t see the nice view,
We see the cliff's edge we could jump off.

suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option

My words became
knives.
A paragraph,
a sword.
And when I
made
my first speech,
the room
                was
                        hit
                             with
                                            a
                                                    grenade.

I’m tired of collecting the tears
that the sun never dries
I’m resolved to chasing the wind
let the breeze blow my eyes
I’ve decided to fan my fears
and live while I’m alive
breathe as much fire
and burn till I die

She said, “I don’t like talking about my feelings. My feelings are as fleeting as the season of summer”.

I told her, ”I never had a problem ever talking about the sun and temperamental weather”.

She said, “I don’t like talking about emotions. My emotions are as dry as autumn leaves”.

I told her, ”I never had a problem with a blowing wind or whirling breeze”.

She said, “I don’t like talking about my fears. My fears are a looming dark sky for a winter storm”.

I told her, “I never had a problem finding shelter and a place to keep her warm”.

I smiled and said, “Let’s just walk and talk about spring”.

…she left me there planting seeds.

while all along, I never had a problem picking her flowers away from the weeds.

you’ve stolen so much of my soul,
i’m still trying to remember who i was

I’m just tired. Tired of being broken. Tired of being forgotten. Tired of being used. Tired of feeling lost. TIred of being nothing. Tired of fighting myself to eat. Tired of feeling empty. Tired of feeling alone. Tired of Tired of doing everything for everyone; But getting nothing in return. Tired of being pulled back into this dark place. I’m just tired. Tired of crying.. Tired of breathing.. I’m just so tired..