MS Lynch: Poems

Simple

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Simple

Medicating my murderer, I am blood in the river,
She is the sunrise and I’m not a swimmer.
I am floating away, wake me up when it’s over.
Jack the Ripper, Jack the Lover.

Snowflakes

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Snowflakes

Maybe we’re all just snowflakes; nothing more than crystallized water from above, doomed to finally land and melt into nothing. We are snowflakes, plowed and pushed by what is bigger so that we may be out of its way. We are all falling through a path fated from the start with a fluffy and slow descent, and an ending we all see coming. Thousands fall each minute, and each one is unique. But we’d never know if a snowflake four miles away is identical or not. Who could prove it? They tell us that is the truth, so we catch it on our tongues and swallow down the minuscule truth. We are snowflakes. And it makes me sad.

Sober Epiphany

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Sober Epiphany

I think there’s something beautiful in sobriety,
In the sense of sincerity, in the rawness of reality.
I believe in drunken bruises, I believe in drugged thoughts,
But I believe in this world more than either of those two.
If our reality is perception, than there must be more than one.
I believe in the influence of motivation,
And the intoxication of being in love, true love.
For kisses mean nothing when the why? isn’t solid,
And thoughts are nonsensical when the how? is cloudy.
I will sip my wine and I will smoke my blunt,
But, to me, awareness will always be greater than numbness,
And authenticity of the human heart and soul
Will always be more important than temporary happiness.

Somewhere

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Somewhere

Somewhere there’s somebody
Who thinks I am made of clouds,
Fastened with sunshine and silliness.
Somewhere there’s somebody
Who thinks my smile is what love looks like,
And who thinks my tears are reason to change the world.
Somewhere there’s somebody
Who will adore me like that Christmas present
He wanted but didn’t think he’d get.
Somewhere there’s somebody
Who will make me wonder why
I was ever so stuck on you.

Sweet Subconscious

MS Lynch Aug 2014

Sweet Subconscious

You were born
Inside the old letters
I wrote when I was nine.
I dreamed of you slowly,
Pushing patience as you
Took your time.
You were warm,
Lying still and quiet,
Beneath my lonely mind.
I waited for your sweet eyes,
Looking past others as I
Waited in line.
You woke up
In my heartbeat,
When you held me that first time.
You were gracious,
So darling and spacious,
And I spread out this soul of mine.
You burst open
In my bloodstream,
When your skin melted into mine.
You were nesting and hiving,
Became scarred handwriting,
Hot to the touch on each freckle.
You fell asleep,
Stuck in a bad dream,
Where the real you walked away.
You were flailing and diving,
So unsure and crying,
And running away from me.
You are here,
You will always be here,
Stuck hopelessly in my heart.
You keep leaving and coming,
And my heart is always drumming,
I will always be humming for you.

#love #dream #man #heart #happy #boy #young #joy #writing #diary

Tea

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Tea

I just want to sip you s l o w l y
Through a straw like tea.
I want to kiss while you’re laughing,
So I can kiss your teeth.
Fall down my rabbit hole soul,
So I can show you everything.
Because I see you in everything.
Let my brilliance lie exposed,
With you lying next to me.
I’m wonderful because you’re wonderful,
And you make me everything I want to be.
Little flower in my eye, cross your heart and hope to die,
That you will never leave me,
Because I’ll never be the same.
Nobody’s the same.

Teenage

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Teenage

Klementine Applemeyer knows ballet
And she says Jesus Christ lives down her street
I don’t believe her but she promises me
That she played him in Monopoly
And he cheated as the banker

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to jump rope
And she says it’s like escaping snakes in a jungle
I don’t believe her but she promises me
She explored the Amazon at age five
And next year she’s going again

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to French-kiss
And she says her daddy’s friend taught her
I don’t believe her but she promises me
His hair is purple and his feet are red
And his breath tasted like onions

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to time travel
And she says she met Vincent Van Gogh
I don’t believe her but she promises me
She took his ear and it’s in her desk drawer
And it’s in a little pink box

Klementine Applemeyer knows about Mr. Henry
And she says he felt her ******* after math
I don’t believe her but she promises me
He wore three rings
And his nails were bitten

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to throw up
And she says it makes her feel better
I don’t believe her but she promises me
Her gag reflex is strong
And her ******* is even stronger

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to roll a blunt
And she says it’s easier than ***
I don’t believe her but when I ask her
If it was her daddy’s friend again
She gets quiet

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to be generous
And she gave me her bike and Van Gogh’s ear
I don’t believe her but she promises me
My birthday has come early
And the ear is Vincent’s

Klementine Applemeyer slit her wrists in the bathtub
And a man with purple hair and red shoes was at the funeral
I didn’t believe her even when she told me
But there was an ear in the box, her neighbor was named Jesus Christ,
She had seen the Amazon, and Mr. Henry’s nails were bitten

The Last Day on Earth

MS Lynch Jun 2013

The Last Day on Earth

Babe,
You can pretend all you want,
But you’re still haunted by my heart.
In intoxication, that word slipped out of your mouth,
And you tried to stop it at the very last second,
But you were too late.
And as I sat there, flooded with THC,
All I could wonder is why that moment
Kept repeating over and over in my mind.
“Sure, babe.”

The Sort Of Person I'd Like To Marry

MS Lynch Jun 2013

The Sort Of Person I'd Like To Marry

We could both be busy working or being lazy
When at 11:34 he will say with keys in hand,
Get in the car, we’re getting cheeseburgers.
And we will go to a diner
And get apple juice and bendy straws
And we’ll put quarters in the jukebox
And play songs from when we were little.
We will ride bicycles on Sundays
And watch the History Channel.
He’ll believe in aliens and ghosts,
And make me try new things when that is just the medicine.
We will both love books
And believe making beautiful things is beautiful.
We will make love and lie in bed
And make shadow puppets on the walls.
We will remember to try our best to be
The person we’d want to be married to.
We will remember to love our lives
So we can love each other.
And even when we are ugly, in age or to each other,
We will kiss each other every day and always say I love you.
And we won’t know where we are going,
But will wake up when we get there.

Thing

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Thing

Did we kiss and was it nothing
Did we kiss and is it something
Do you have a thing
For me cause I do have a thing
For you and we could have everything
We ever wanted if we give this thing
A shot, will you give it a shot? Or was this whole thing
The end result of too many shots? I would give anything
To have your heart be set on mine. Maybe I’ve got another thing
Coming- overestimating and wishing like this. But there are way too many things
Here and none of them are certain.

This Poem Is A Piece of Shit

MS Lynch Jun 2013

This Poem Is A *******

The frosted grass sparkles in the light of the night
Like a night you can’t get back.
Really Something with capital letters,
You were Really Something, and you said I was Something Else.
And it’s so stupid to even miss you on a Monday night
When you don’t give a ****, and neither should I.
And it’s absolutely insane for me to pick my brain
When I can’t fall asleep in bed, but I do it.
Singing along to a song we used to love,
Windows open in winter just to feel something that strong again.
The wheel is in my hands and the road is in my eyes,
All these memories and daydreams are crystallized
Into tears thanks to a lover who made me love like I never had before.
It’s sort of funny how one person can totally change your life,
Makes you wonder if it really is yours.

This Poem Is As Messy As I Am

MS Lynch Jun 2013

This Poem Is As Messy As I Am

The sunrise hasn’t spoken in quite some time,
And the world is dreary; snow-cold hearts
Beating on and beating down day by day.
There are cobwebs in the clockwork,
And there’s a difference in the shades,
The world has turned from black and white
To a constant gray.
Perhaps we were meant to meet on another day.
Where the world would have listened,
Instead of cursing us into the ground.
And where I didn’t have to cry into my pillow,
I could let the sound rebound.
Your heart beats like a hammer,
The nails into my hands.
Oh Jesus Christ, this hurts like hell,
Sandpaper on my supple soul.
I live for every drop of blood that curdles in the sky.
The clouds look like roses today.
I evaporate and condensate and rain down once again.
This mystery and sadness is all spinning in my head.
The time ticks on and I remain, a broken fence, alone.
The world can be an ugly place when your heart has no home.
My feet hurt from the gravel,
My eyes ache from the night,
And darling I am anxious,
For your next delightful bite.
This poem makes no sense, but neither do my thoughts.
Cold tile floor and sweaty sleep, nightmares and daydreams haunt me.
Your forehead kisses gone for good,
I’m just a little rain cloud lately,
Waiting to condensate,
And disappear.

Thoughts

MS Lynch Sep 2013

Thoughts

Cold September night
and for the first time
in a long time
everything is alright.
Somehow it feels like
everything is falling
into place
instead of apart.
And even if it's not,
I still know I'll be okay.
I used to be a firework
and then I was a graveyard
but I have found my spark again.
All I can do is love what I have
and pray for the Universe
to bring to me what's right
and hopefully end up happy,
flashing through the night sky;
golden, sparkly, and clear.

Thursday

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Thursday

I still think you’re as blue as summer skies,
And would kiss all the tears in your eyes,
And this may come as a surprise,
But in my heart you still exist.
Your blood smells of roses,
In my dreams we touch noses,
And all the medicine doses,
Can’t drive you away from me.
Someday I’ll decorate your grave,
My heart an empty cave,
Because my grace you did save,
And cause to explode in sparks.

Tight Junctions

MS Lynch Nov 2014

Tight Junctions

I am giving up on the thought that you will ever give me as much time as I give you honor.

Every time I try to grow a flower, you hand me a bomb.

The world is a dark place, and I am a mere candle, trying to hold it together in the wind.

Because it rips out my heart to hear you grow the courage to say those words to a girl, when you would never even notice all the love in my eyes.

And people forget how much love can hurt until that familiar hand comes to slap them again.

You ripped me up from the ground, roots and all exposed, then snipped them with scissors without a second thought.

I am tired of making myself whole, only to hand you the knife for you to slice me open.

It is exhausting, and fruitless, and soul-aching to hold so much for someone who would never hold you again.

And him, with his bright love and strong-holding mind, loved me from afar only to drop me when I gave in.

And him, with his unexpected arrival in my life, so aware of our wavelength, yet choosing to deny.

And him, with his tender funniness and joy, brought me to his bedroom, then kicked me out of his door.

And him, with his dark eyes and ridiculous smile, almost saved me, just to drown me right after.

I am tired of giving myself to people who cry for me, only to push me away as though I forced myself on them.

And you, you are the worst of them all, my never-ending crucifixion who I could never regret.

On a gloomy Sunday, when everything falls apart, including myself, all I want is you next to me, but all I want is you gone.

Transfer

MS Lynch Apr 2014

Transfer

Waiting for letters
in great, wide envelopes.
Waiting for someone
else to decide
if I am worthy
to try for my dreams.

It all comes down
to letters
and how they
translate into a
number
and how that number
translates into a value
of you.

I wrote about how
I pulled myself out
of my own early grave
and how a pill
and a doctor
and a God
ignited
a fire in my heart
to live
and live
and live well.

Today, I am not a flower,
I am a seed,
who only wishes to be a flower;
but fears nobody
will give me water.

I could be a garden.

#love #fear #depression #scared #dreams #flower #on #wonder #school #college #work #moving #seed #transfer #transferring

Tremor (Please)

MS Lynch May 2014

Tremor (Please)

Falling in love taught me more
about faith than any priest ever could.
When I look at you I know
all the ways my soul touches the earth.
I look into the mirror and see my eyes,
so old and deeply grounded,
yet with roots shy of twenty years old.
I am wrinkly hands and impulsive actions,
I am missing teeth and the belief in the tooth fairy,
I am the wilting rose and the shiny dew-coated seed.

If time is a concept based upon
distance, then my soul is
as old as the distance between me and you.
And I can dive deep down in my pockets,
and pull up, in my hand,
all the worlds I loved and lost you in.
And I can swim 10,000 leagues
under my anatomy, and pull up,
from my gut, the feeling I know
to be true when I see you.
And I can't tell if the lesson I
am meant to learn is that I need
to stop loving you, or that I need
to love myself more than I love you.

But when you tell me to give up on you,
the hair on the back of my neck stands up;
no, no, no, it's not supposed to be this way.
And it is with jagged fingernails and red lipstick,
that I dare you to prove me wrong,
but all you do is smile,
and give me less reasons to miss you,
and more reasons to cry,
and more doubt to drink in,
and less hope to have,
and, finally,
another life in which I loved and lost you.

#love #feelings #sad #life #confused #beautiful #past #strange #paranormal #hold #feeling #emotions #grief #confusion #horoscope #holding #lives #moveon #gut

Twisted @ the Stage Door

MS Lynch Sep 2014

Twisted @ the Stage Door

It’s all spinning in my head, burning with friction and fire. Your name is etched all on my lips, all crossed out with a scar. I’ve been trying to erase it, but it’s so strong I can taste it even now. I am so ashamed and so alone and maybe that’s why I can’t think of anything else. I am so high, I’m out of my mind, but I can’t come down. I’m unsure if your heart beats just as mine. I can’t say now but something’s brewing, boiling up with time. I ******* miss you and it is hurting every fiber of my being; I refuse to wonder why. I can’t come to terms with what’s lurking under my bed. I’m afraid that this is all in my head. I’m afraid that I’ll never see you again… if I tell you any of it. Because I know you’ll just blame me. Because it is not what we think or what we have, it is what we do. The choice is clear from you. I still miss you.

U.F.O.

MS Lynch Jun 2013

U.F.O.

We used to intertwine like vines growing up a tree
Now the only thing that intertwines is this dark and me.
You’re tequila for my bones and braids, the starlet in my smoke,
This trick has got its grip on me; my song’s become a choke.
True love never fails and that’s my failure in the night
Marijuana medicine taken ‘fore twilight
Thoughts resurrect like zombies, grow between my veins,
Even when you’re absent you still keep me insane
Poetic, pathetic, diuretic, drain me of my blood
Mixing spit and hate and love until it becomes mud
Sheets of shame and guilt’s to blame for my empty heart
Foreclosed, alone, this isn’t poetry, this isn’t art
Eighteen and way too broken to be reckless and to care
Pull the trigger, shatter me, pull on my long dead hair
Scar-less little dream-catcher holding onto golden wings
Baby girl with bad dreams drinking up careless flings
I’m an alien with history just looking to get high
I prefer my world ******-up, on the rocks and extra dry.

UHAUL to South Carolina

MS Lynch Jul 2013

UHAUL to South Carolina

The head rush always ends
with the screeching halt of brakes
and the 2AM loneliness
that reminds me we all die alone
and maybe this time
I'll give it all up finally
and throw away the dice
because although I am playing the game
I am always getting played
and I'm so tired of hurting
just for trying with a smile
so **** fate and its laughter
because I am not a joke.

Untitled 1

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Untitled 1

Interlocking toes and whispering I love you,
Kissing each freckle on my face,
And my shoulders, and my legs.
Crying over books together,
And spooning to the sound of rain.
Skin on skin until you melt into each other’s bones,
Leaving tea ring upon tea ring on hearts.
My sails will always blow in your direction,
Although my ship may sail to other seas.
Forever, whether I like it or not,
You are the happiness in my blood and body.
Grains of sand stuck in shoes from beach days long ago.

Untitled 2

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Untitled 2

Your pulse is my electricity, your blood is my felicity,
You’re ten thousand leagues under the sea and I’m a brick, freely falling.
You’ll say “I think it’s beautiful, the way you laugh yourself to dreams,”
And I will kiss you, cause you’re the reason I am always-laughing me.
Hold my hand, I’ll hold on like you’re the dragon of my dreams,
Breathing fire, into my eyes and soul, that glows inside these blue-eye seas.

Venom Vixen

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Venom *****

Just give me one more taste of your precious toxicity,
And, baby, we can medicate; we can love ourselves to sleep.
And in the morning we’ll be mourning, the clock will laugh its chime.
This was all at the wrong time, this was all wrong at this time.
And I’ll dance my pretty toes away, I’ll nibble on your ear,
Pretend we were never apart, our souls were always near.
I’ll cry my ******* eyes out as we sit on the bed,
Because it feels right on skin, in heart, but wicked in my head.
Deceptive, delicious, witchcraft in your eye,
In logic you’re the devil but your lips feel like the sky.
We can nightmare through the afternoon, smoke up right at dawn,
But from the haze of my twisted thoughts you’ll never be gone.
And though this is poison jail, I’ve never felt more free.
You are so bad for me; you are so bad for me.

Vertebrae

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Vertebrae

I want to feel you count all the bones in my spine,
While I sit and count the reasons I want to make you mine.
And you’ll finish long before me, I won’t finish until we’re dead.
But it’s okay because I will be with you until the end.

We Are Everything

MS Lynch Feb 2014

We Are Everything

It hurts how far away we are from who we were together.
Like souls inverted, fused by magic, and then pulled apart.
Stretched across the universe by rough hands larger than anything; calloused fingers that whisper “I know what is best for you.”
If time is in distance in the great big universe, maybe someday we’ll soar so far
that we will find each other.
In wrinkles or in recklessness, I hope your lips meet mine again,
with the epiphany of what real loving is.
Everyday I see you in the smallest details, wrapped in tiny envelopes and parcels all from Fate.
Reading the signs is like reading your soul, in pieces that make you feel the world all at once.
I am so uncomfortably aware of how small I am
within this Creation that holds our habitable speck,
which only proves to me that something so great deserves to exist on it.
And if we are not destined to create a glory for our histories, I hope we meet as friends and lovers, and different stars in different worlds, and souls who seem to know each other
but do not understand why.
In past lives, I know you held my hand. In future ones, I hope you will. In present, I am always wishing you were around so our fingers could intertwine;
like our paths, always intersecting in this mysterious void filled with so much magic.
I am not certain how the world turns or why we grow or where we truly are, but I am certain you will always be my heart, a microscopic ***** in a sea of billions of stars.
I love you like the way the Universe is, always expanding and forever flowing through time.

We Became Friends

MS Lynch Jun 2013

We Became Friends

We’re on the brink of brotherhood,
The link is sewed of falling in love
That eventually landed and shattered.
I love you more than I’ve loved before,
The green grass only growing as time goes by.
And I will hold your hand when Death comes calling,
And I will be your light in the dark.
And I will shed tears if you are thirsty,
And in my heart you will always be the first.

Weekend in Poughkeepsie

MS Lynch Oct 2013

Weekend in Poughkeepsie

I am throwing up
because I am drunk
and you are holding me
rubbing my bare back with your hands
skin on skin
and I feel so loved
and you kiss my forehead
and tell me it will all be okay
I fell asleep
you said sweet dreams
and ****** her straight til morning

(you break me over and over and over again)

When Your Heart Breaks

MS Lynch Oct 2013

When Your Heart Breaks

Don't forget this feeling
Like love letters torn up and set aflame
In your belly, your heart, your brain
The world has broken, disappeared
But you are still stuck here
That reminds you love has a price to pay
Because your heart falls apart
Into adrenaline and anger
And the deepest sadness you've known
All explodes into your bloodstream
Until your hands shake
The single spark of hope exhausted
So now so are you
Because everything hurts but there's nothing to say
I guess I'll wait for you forever

White

MS Lynch Jan 2014

White

You are white like a bone;
And also an eggshell.
You write in permanent marker,
But your letters make you cry.
You are a key that opens anything
But crumbles with rust and time.
And you sing in the shower
But when someone catches you,
You shut up silent, mouth sewn closed.
You come in tides like the ocean,
But you are scared of the sea,
Even though you are a wave always crashing into me.
You are a bone and an eggshell;
white ambiguity, wrapped into one.

Winter’s Veins Are Filled with Oceans (I Am God)

MS Lynch Feb 2015

Winter’s Veins Are Filled with Oceans (I Am God)

My heart is a hurricane yet my blood is the bay,
My mind tells me to run but all I want is to stay.
Suddenly within these puzzle pieces, denatured with time,
Confused emotion has made them align.
I’m terrified to be caught in the headlights,
Red-handed with love in the dead of night.
(I’m waiting for the tide to come in.)

My mind panics but my whole body just slips,
Melting into this ******-up ****** drip.
Blue veins fast stained bright red, emptiness to too much,
My skin cells breathing so deeply with just the slightest touch.
Driving with the windows open as winter wind slaps me,
I think of all the questions that I wish you’d ask me.
(Because I won’t talk unless you want to listen.)

God’s a sick magician, playing silly tricks,
While I’m withdrawing, slowly hurting, waiting for my fix.
I’ve been given so much, much more than I need,
But your skin is my religion in the temple between sheets.
Like a fire I keep on feeding, because I love the warmth,
I know that it could hurt me but still I want for more.
(Besides, I like the sparks that scare me.)

The darkest part is I don’t care, in the night I miss your voice,
But my guilt is all washed out by satisfied white noise.
And I try to keep the storm stitched up together in my soul,
But it feels so good to have my hands full inside of filling in a hole.
And with just a moment, I’m unzipped and it all falls out,
My dam’s wide open, so is yours, an estuary full of doubt.
(Salt water is all we are, hurricanes and bays.)

As the clock ticks and the scales tip, I feel something is coming,
And I’m not sure, fight or flight, to stand still or start running.
My gut is screaming, joining the club of head and heart,
No one ever said it would be this hard, oh, take me back to the start.
I stare at God’s hands as he holds the cards, hoping for some cures,
But, worse, he just slides the deck to me and says “the choice is yours.”
(And that scares me.)

#love #god #religion #****** #winter #blue #red #*** #skin #veins

Yearning

MS Lynch Oct 2014

Yearning

I want to feel your teeth so close to my veins
I can hear the hickeys you're about
to leave on my neck,
and
I want to feel your mouth so close to my heart
I can feel the kisses you're about
to plant on my body,
and
I want you thisclose to me so that
I can feel your soul melting
into mine,
and
I want you.

You'll Eventually be Sa(n)d

MS Lynch Jun 2013

You'll Eventually be Sa(n)d

I used to think your skin
Was sewn of dreamcatchers’ thread.
I used to think your words
Were all tiny bones that made up my spine.
I used to think your heartbeat
Was the axis of the earth.
But now I see you for what you are.
And what you are is
A pebble in my mind.
Life is the ocean.

You Never Changed

MS Lynch Jun 2013

You Never Changed

You're always ******* hurting someone.
Why can't you just love a person?
Maybe you're not human.
But when I was with you,
I felt the most human I have ever felt.
Now she doesn't even know.
I cried into my pillow, but she's smiling in her sleep.
Unaware of the heartbreak you performed
Behind her back.
And if you ever pick up the phone to call me
And see how I have been,
You can be sure to hear the dial-tone
Just as quickly as you bit us all.

Your Birthday Is Coming Up

MS Lynch Aug 2013

Your Birthday Is Coming Up

Unraveling fate like a sweater is a dangerous thing,
You are the thread and I am a swing.
Constantly back and forth, flying through the air,
Torn up with depression and worried with care.
You're the worst person but in my dreams I kiss your cheek,
Love is for the wild and hate's for the meek.
I'll cut my knees on the street again, your avenue,
"I ******* hate your everything." "Darling, I love you, too."

Your Parents Lied

MS Lynch Jun 2013

Your Parents Lied

They kiss you on the cheek
Then they cut you with a knife.
You give them all your blood,
And carry around a scar forever.
Lips, thick redness, and a pale white line
That never fades with time.
That is what love is.

— The End —