Falling faster than I knew I could
Dreaming of the things that should
Now in a living nightmare
Of things that really scare
Never put my heart on the line
But I did now look at the sign
It's tied around my neck
And I'm feeling like a speak
I could never be so cruel
How could this to me you do
I'm a kind hearted soul
That now doesn't know wich way to go
Death seems the most restful place
This world I just can't seem to face
I lay here in my bed
Replaying all the loving things you said
Only to ended it all so abrupt
Not even giving me a chance to speak up
All I want is a why, some closer
So I can move on, I'm feeling like Oscar, I just want it over
Thrown into a trash can
I really thought you was a true man
How was I so blind
Why in the end was you so unkind
I would never hurt anyone
But I guess in this world this is the way it's done
So I don't want to be in this world
Everything is so blurred
So please can someone tell me what to do
Because this I just can't seem to get through

Seeing the world through tear stained eyes
Wondering how any one survives

The mountains we climb, trying to reach the sky, but we find
It's nothing more than the trail we leave behind

With out wings we think we can fly
Only to find we are falling from the sky
Being forced into an ocean of emotions to swim
But in the grand design someone forgot our fins

We reach for tomorrow, standing in today
As we look back, for the past has paved the way
Good or bad, when faith begins to fade
Hope is how we are saved

The illusion of time never moving, things never changing, at a still stand
Only in looking back can we see the clocks moving hands

For as surly as the moon brings in the tide
Our years in this life is but a fast ride
Moving so quickly, we don't feel the motion
Just like the the moon's pull on the ocean

Seeing the world through tear stained eyes
Knowing that in the end no one survives

I wanted to draw in silver
But it came out **red

Call me a ****
I'm a ******.
Call me a ****
I was *****.
Call me a ****
I want to have ***.
Call me a ****
I *******.

Call me a ****
I fell in love.
Call me a ****
I kissed a boy.
Call me a ****
I touch myself.
Call me a ****
there's things I enjoy.

Call me a ****
he hurt me.
Call me a ****
I said no.
Call me a ****
he did it anyway.
Call me a ****
I don't know.

Call me a ****
I can hear you.
Call me a ****
scream it loud.
Call me a ****
although I might cut.
Call me a ****
like you're proud.

Call me a ****
it will hurt me.
Call me a ****
This I swear.
Call me a ****
I know it's not true.
Call me a ****
it's not fair.

In this game there is no winner
There is only sorrow in the razor blades glimmer
But the sting of the flesh is a manageable pain
Unlike the one in my brain
That makes me quake
My hands to shake

But with the blade, my hands become steady
I brace for the slice, I get myself ready
Then I create my art, the flesh is my canvas
Most think this is total madness

But with the pain now in my flesh
For awhile my brain can rest
With the flow
My anguish goes
The thin red lines, allow me to survive another day
It just the price I pay

Assignment: Reflect on this quote*
"He in his madness prays for storms and dreams that storms will bring him peace" -Leo Tolstoy*

Sometimes all we want is something to destroy us.
To dash us to pieces upon the rocks,
until we lay scattered,
like a macabre game of 52 pickup.
Because it's easier to start over from scratch then to stretch one more butterfly bandage.
When you've done so many repairs and patch-ups that you are less person and more stitches,
it makes more sense to break,
so you can gather up the fragments and fashion them into something new.
Cause maybe your next self will be less fragile than the last.

So we fall in love with the dangerous things:
Storms and people,
and everything in between.
Not because we think we're invincible,
because we are waiting for the thing that will destroy us properly for once.

Rinse and Repeat.

Sometimes I fall,
Sometimes I break;
Hidden up my sleeves,
Are my mistakes.

When I numb the pain,
With scars that take too long to fade;
I remember your lips,
They felt so great.

But baby,
So does his blade.

As she sat on the floor, back hunched against the door thought I am not made for the world anymore. As she took out her pen and began to write words, she vomited heartache, things destroying her soul. As she cried over photos of her loved and her lost, she lit them on fire all memories tossed. With a look around her room and a black stare so cold, she quietly whispered "I want to go home". Brushed her hair softly back for the world to see..the anguish, the pain, and agony. Gripping the polished wood of her chair, she stared into the darkness saying goodbyes to despair. A life full of emptiness with no sun in sight, she felt to be free she'd exchange her own life. And as she calmly and firmly tied the rope so secure,with her neck firmly choked, feet dangling from the floor, she decided that life wasn't worth it anymore.

Cutting
Choose your spot
Cutting
Shine it nice
Cutting
Pretend your real
Cutting
Shed a tear
Cutting
Let the blade arrive
Cutting
Give direction
Cutting
Sigh your perfect sigh
Cutting
Show your shallow smile
Cutting
Bleed alone
Cutting
Die alone.....