Bursts of illumination of tears, laying on the ground for me.
I don’t hear her voice anymore.
Young girl, I once raised so dearly, why don’t you remember me?
I taught you to walk, talked to you at night,
I was there when your mother wanted to get rid of you.
I was always the one, pushing you on to do the best,
I wanted the best for you the child I named.
I never wanted to see you go away,
but I’m praying all the time, that you are safe.
I hate how you became a sweet sacrifice,
to the selfish hearts which wanted money in their life.
I feel the tears streaming down, sweet little angel,
where are you now?
I remember when, I taught your little legs to dance,
I remember now, when you were there beside me.
Your mother, the woman who separated us,
with your sister, the liar, the accuser!
I felt my heart, grow a million times, every time I saw your smile.
I then remember the woman I grew up with,
my sweet grandmother, hold your arms,
she was mine, she was yours, we all held hands,
and now if we re-unite, it’ll only be us this time.
I feel so forgotten, I doubt you even remember my face at all.
When you next see me in the busiest place, I hope one day,
you’ll remember my name. Please remember my name,
I named you, remember my name too. Sweet child please,
can’t you see me? Please…?

The cold textured feelings, ripping up my arm,
the saddened look, I give out - screaming help.
The black and white layer is for a reason,
the mask of the witch doctor, laid on her face,
I don’t want to involve myself in beauty so painful,
it’s seems so sadistic of me, yet an artistic advantage.
When you scream out and call me wrong,
I've learnt to love the agony that pain brought.
The reason for the pain is because when it began,
it began on false alarms - they mistook me.
I was once a young girl, so free and angelic,
then it all began when I realized everything,
I was a bully to the young, a monster inside my soul,
I hid away from everybody, except isolation itself.
A girl known as angels came to worry for me,
I cried out because I am the blood thirsty demon.
She did not know that the dress that she wears for enchantment,
is a witch-crafted nightmare of a long lost devil.
I remember when I loved him so dearly,
I wanted to be with him forever.
Little did I know, how foolish I were to even believe,
in fairy tales at all, the witches and the queens.
“Never grow up”, was the advice I was given,and honestly,
it was terrible advice sunk into me.
I love the pain smothered in the darkness,
welcome to my game, the world of dim.
A girl known as angels came to worry for me,
I cried out because I am the demon,
There by the bushes, picking all the leaves,
I felt their patterns exchanging my thoughts.
I really don’t get it. If I were a demon,why did I feel like an angel once?
Why did they paint my wings white?

Sacred words are left out in stone,
the carved wordings will remain for long.
I don’t see why curiosity, always catches me at the sleeve.
It’s like I am a pet of the devil, wanting to find the light within.
I walk around like the cat, watching every single spark.
I embrace the lovely patterns, wondering when my light will shine.
I saw the gorgeous skies, shade away into purple cloths.
I remember seeing your light, for the very first time.
It shone brighter than anyone’s, I don’t even understand why.
You aren't the greatest, you aren't the best,but neither am I.

I saw the words being placed, down onto the cards to heaven.
I looked at the lanterns, fly away into the sky.
Dim lights of yellow and orange too, remembering how much I loved you.
Death is a sweet embrace, yet why do I yearn for something to waste?
It shone brighter than anyone’s, I don’t even understand why.
I don’t see the point, in disposing love or life.
She walks down the dark road, with traffic lights flashing at her,
she remembers every single day, that she needs to keep on living.
Through every shade, of red, yellow and green she needs, to remember you.
Walking down a path of remembrance, leads into a list of names.
When the first child is bared, she is labelled with your name.

She walked around in a perfect dress, the beautiful angel we wanted.
Look at little miss innocent stroll around, what if I told you she’s not as innocent as she sounds.
Everyday, she hangs up her bag, and goes up to him and laughs.
He sits there alone, hanging his head down, crying to himself.
She stands there, in front of him, his face in her shadowed self.
He was bullied, everyday by the girl they proclaimed to be an angel,
he was crying, and wanted to get away, and wrote in the dirt,
“somebody **** me”.
She went to school, in her dress, and saw a hand gesture,
she showed her friends, they all giggled too, some reason the boy liked her too.
He wanted to show her, his affection and prove his love indeed.
He went to her, with a big little grin, and let out the words.
She laughed in his face, giggling away, it was him, she found it,
beyond hilarious, everything this boy said, as if he was a joke.
Somebody **** me, somebody **** me,
droning on in this boy’s mind, somebody, out there, punch me down,
pull me down, deeper into the ground.

She walked around in the ***** clothes, crying away, to the love songs,
she looked at her phone, another message, “Go die *****,”.
She saw why she shouldn't of rejected him, she was the bully,
and now she is the one in the pressured world, she goes to him,
in her thoughts, and apologizes for the lies she once told.
I now wish, if I knew him now, I would cry and apologize.

What even is the point of this? Honestly, look me in the eye and tell me.
You think this is fun do you? Ignoring my pain as if I’m nothing too?
I guess I’m not strong when it comes to words at all,
I stutter, I panic and I fear what comes out of my mouth.
Written words on paper and text that appears in front of me,
only can tell me the truth behind this artificial smile.
I’ve became a ghost of a girl, a girl who was somewhat beautiful.
Yet I saw none of the sweetness you had told me.
I don’t understand why I can’t see the positivity,
you scream at me and tell me, for **** sake, see ME.
I can’t bare screaming, the screeching within my heart.
You want me to love you, well honestly, ******* let me love you.
You broke my sweet self into millions of pieces, by forcing your opinions,
down my throat like poison.
You wanted me to smile at myself, then you should have gave me,
the reasons to form those smiles instead of screaming at me.
You want me to smile then I will carve it into my skin,
you can not force my emotions out of my heart.
You said you loved me dearly, yet you betrayed me.
You forced a drink down your throat with a party over me.
I thought you wanted to hold me tightly and kiss me too,
but when I discovered another was better, he left alongside you.

His eyes are like sapphire jewels waiting to be picked up,
they longed for love so pure and they picked up by the poorest female around.
Hair will cover the eyes of the warmest heart,
the one which will not love the way he has done years before.
I don’t want to intrude upon your life, sweet sir,
please let me, remind you why you tried.
I want to see you fly higher than the clouds above,
forming fictional minds to dream above.
I don’t, want to feel the cold weather anymore,
please let the rain pour one last time as I cling to you tight.
Don’t forget me, please don’t leave me,
don’t leave me behind in this sweet ride of pain.

Rainbow sketchbooks and chocolate lay down,
on the wooden desk paid with broken cells.
The foundation *** which has lied to all the eyes,
hiding scars from my selfish life.

Money, shiny pennies from many, off of my father,
who will see my shine one day.
The drinks of cancer, which I force down,
hoping one day, they end my life as well.

The smell of lavender, purple flowers,
the spring is blooming my heart.
The stars are shining in shapes of torture,
the funny part of this joke is the truth.

Pillows, which are not made from luxury,
they are rather downfall when it comes to appearance.
Yet the softness, the cold textured feeling,
it warms my cheeks up with sweet medicine.

Lip gloss, I had once wore to attract a male,
who no longer cares for me in the fashion I wish.
Pink, red and blue… cream splatters all over my cheeks,
my eyes are green faded jewels lost in track.

Pictured life moments surround me,
her voice cuddled me to sleep,
when nobody would listen to my painful cries,
I once cried the tears of many hurtful lives.