Mariah

Mariah Jul 5

How lucky am I
That my skies explode with pride
Hiding genocide

Free gaza! I am extremely upset with "my" country.

#holiday #misplaced #disgrace #genocide #dishonourable #gaza #palestine

Mariah Jul 3

Hope, hope, hope
Is just like jumping rope
High highs and inevitable lows
And
If you really love me
Do so,
No matter how it goes

I have a good feeling about the rest of the year.

#hope #july #summer #light #random #practice #love #loss #recovery

Mariah Jul 2

She's older than me

Take me

Slowly

To the

Place I

Know I

Can be

Please just

Show me

Who I'm

Supposed

To be

Is this

Really

What you

Mean

When you

Told me

I was

Always

Free

What was

I supposed

To see

While the

Figure's

Looking

Back at

Me

Why does

She look

So

Pretty

Even though

She's older

Than me

I don't always believe this. Even still, I've started to be able to appreciate my face more as I've gotten older.

Though, I still feel 18.

#growing #aging #reflection #slow #rare #appreciation #beauty #age #acceptance

Mariah Jun 28

Who, me?

I am impulsive
I am strange
Lying in the bed I made

I am anxious
I am loud
I won't make my parents proud

I am restless
I am tired
I'm not one to be admired

I am obnoxious
I am trite
Burning bridges keep me warm at night

I am indecisive
I am sure
Enjoying what I haven't earned

I am curious
I am afraid
Cleaning up a mess I made

I am grateful
If I am at all
I have no regrets that aren't absolved

Your guess is as good as mine.

#revised #personal #growth #duality #change #bpd #ocd #disabled #manic #chaos

Mariah Jun 27

And I love her

My younger self would
love that I watch the movies
she did too, back then.

Twilight on rainy days, unashamed.

#nostalgic #haiku #love #nostalgia #kid #self #reminiscent #reflecting #unashamed #acceptance

Mariah Jun 20

Leave me behind

Guilt, guilt, guilt
As far as I can see

Weight, weight, wait!
Its crashing down on me

Shame upon my name
Rehabilitate with blame

Change, change, strange
Things still stay the same

I don't know if this makes sense but I feel it anyway.

#bpd #ocd #paranoia #guilt #shame #remorse #regret #disgust

Mariah Jun 19

Blue feelings, black remorse

Thank the God I don't believe in
Thank the ones I do
Thank the mistakes I've made
And how they beat me blue

guilty guilty guilty

#bpd #ocd #regret #meloncholy #mistakes #depression #guilt #remorse