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Mariah 2d
I love
I hate
I yearn
I ache

The pain
The chase
Eyes and ears and taste

The hands
That shake
Making love to my mistakes

Regret
Remorse
Embracing my own corpse

Change
Sorrow
Waiting for tomorrow

Paranoia
Trust
Drenched in pixie dust

Manic
Placid
The future's dipped in acid

Hope
Unrest
Bricks inside my chest

Friction
Freedom
Lies that I believe in

Tears
Laughter
Curate my own disaster

Chalk
Frost
Skin made up of moss

Tide
Concrete
Death before retreat

Time
Space
Stuffed inside a case

Fraud
Truth
The difference between the two

"I'm fine"
It's true
And if you actually knew
What could you even do?
I'm sick. I'm sad. Thank god.
Mariah May 11
Please, please, please
Help me get through today with ease
As a child
With a mother
Who thought me a disease
I hope she gets better.
Mariah May 9
I love when I feel happy
It comes around constantly
More often that it may seem

When they see my face
They feel a cold embrace
When in actuality
I welcome all emotions equally

Its usually just my fear
That causes how I may appear
Like a spider or a bee
I fear you much more than you do me  

And if you were to hear me speak
You'd find no tongue and cheek
I offer my olive branches
Quiet earnestly

And even though I may hibernate
And my fear eventually
takes over me
I always in the end
Feel the burning under my skin

I love in bursts
Its violent
And it can hurt
But I love
I love I love I love

I love being happy
So happy I bounce off the walls
Off of you
Off of the mountains
Until it echos  

I love being sloppy in my joy
I love leaving a mess
I love when it's overjoy
And I love the overkill

I love being so happy
It runs out completely
And the car in my heart sputters
And stops in the middle of the road

I love walking to the next gas station
With my shoes in my hand
Feeling exhausted
Like I could never love again

But nevertheless
I always seem to find
The next station
And I refuel
And I can go again
Sorry I am getting tired so it might not be good but it's honest I am in a happy mood swings and I could throw things about it
Mariah May 2
My heart is packed so full of love for you
  I dreamed I exploded, like aerosol cans sometimes do

I blew with such force that my bones became shrapnel
And leveled the town, except the small chapel

My teeth flew like bullets, I didn't know what was happening
They killed everyone in sight, except for the chaplain

And then, thanks to him, we were happily wed
Even though, at the time, I think we were both dead
Jeffrey Franken, Frankenhooker, dir. Frank Henelotter, 1990

I have an overwhelming fondness for tales of a love so potent, even death cannot dissolve it.
Mariah May 1
No matter what I find
I'm so glad I chose to hide
Instead of doning a disguise

I waited until I could find
A place that wasn't just in my mind
To trust myself to be alive

I'm so proud to be in a place
To no longer believe it when they say
I was born a certain way

The rage
It comes from a true place
My heart of hearts true faith
I refuse to replace
With self hatred
For their own sake

Instead of shaving down
The life I've built around
The one that I burnt down

I'll protect it with that same rage
You told me was my worst mistake

And when you see me face to face
with regret
I'll **** doubt instead
It takes time.
Mariah Apr 29
I hate myself
But that's okay
I'll like myself better
Another day

I don't have to hope
I know
With me
That's just how it goes

Just like a stray
I won't always show my face

Give it time
I'll be fine

I know my ways
It always pays
To give me space
It's best to let me go-
at my own pace

I'll come back if it's right
If it's worth the fight

I know my wobbly heart
Would pick it apart
Trying to find the art

If it's worth it
It will hard

And maybe if I'm lucky
It might leave a you shaped scar
Mariah Apr 28
In the shower shaving
When I can't help but ponder
Back in the 12th century
People would **** each other
Just to sneak a holy peak
At the unchanged physique
Meet me in the brush
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