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lanico Jan 2018
i've been feeling so dark lately
that not even the diamonds in your eyes
or the brightness of your smile
can make me laugh
lanico Jan 2018
i’ve been thinking about
how to fill this
blank space,
to fill this
missing piece,
to fill this
hole in my soul
in my heart,
to fill this
tear in my heart
to finally mend this poor soul

but,
how can i feel these spaces
these empty holes
these emptiness in my
heart
if you,
your face,
your eyes,
your lips,
your smile,
your back,
your laugh,
the softness of your hair
and the cold spot beside me
in the bed
are the only thing i can
think about?
lanico Jan 2018

i wish i could stop this feeling inside my chest,
i wish that these...
feelings of selfishness just fade away
but
how can i stop them if all i want is to have you?
how can i stop these feelings of greed growing inside my veins
if all i can think about is your face,
the way the corner of your lips go up whenever you smile
or laugh
or the way your eyes shine so bright in the dark
and
the merely thought of having you laying down in bed beside me
is storming inside my head?
i've been feeling this selfishness inside my chest
inside my heart,
my lungs,
because
i want you for my whole own self
i don't want anybody else,
anybody else but you
and i want you to
have me
to have me
and anybody else but
me
lanico Dec 2019
the mountains keep laughing,
and mocking me from afar.
they keep mocking the useless
attempts i make
to feel like i’m worth
to feel like i really am enough.

they keep pointing at me
telling me i’ll never be
like my little brothers’
violin;
or that i won’t ever be
as clever
as bright
as wit
as my big brother is.

they keep reminding me that
i won’t ever be
as sufficient
as i want to be.
lanico Mar 2018
oh, he was the love of my life;
he was the universe in the sky.
he was the spark that lit up my heart
and the lighter that burn out my cigar

oh, he was, indeed,
the only thought i had in the night
before closing my eyes
and the first thought i had in mind
when i opened my eyes with the sunlight

oh, he was my sun,
the one who gave me life everyday
and made my petals bloom and my face bright


oh, he was my moon in the noon,
because every day at 6pm he would knock on my window
telling me to open up
so we can watch the starry sky together
and after that, whispering into my ear that my eyes shone bright;
bright as the stars in the sky.

oh, he was, indeed, the love of my life;
the one who broke my heart
and never shown his face
he is my all, and i just hope we can finally meet sometime.
thank you, because even if we haven't meet yet, i'm thankful i still believe in love because i keep thinking of you.
lanico Dec 2019
time is not happy with us now
time is not on our side

and the clock keeps tic-toeing
having my days counted
leaving an aching feeling in my
chest

time is over now and there's no turning back, because it is angry with me
and all the moments
and feelings
i’ve lost
and buried

— The End —