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Jane Lame Sep 2015
My heart, it's hands
Reaching for his soul
My wrists snap, retreat back
I guess now we'll never know
Hung up, strung out
Just searching for a sign
Horror, misanthrope  
Astrological pantomime
Visions clear, so near
Like vines we intertwined
Incompatible, at the core
Who was feeding me those lines?
Jane Lame Jul 2015
New Years Day
The 1st of the Month
Lent, Ash Wednesday

I swear I'll give it up

Maybe this Birthday
When's the new moon?
Start over every Monday

I continue to throw up

Perpetual sickness
Never small enough
At war with my body

So many food groups to give up

Dietary restrictions
The socially acceptable excuse
Undercover overeater

Will I ever be good enough?
Jane Lame Jun 2015
We're like Tom Robbins characters
You spoke those words yourself

I'm a princess and you're a felon
But we vibe so ******* well

You're a walking brain puzzle
I'm a recovering **** tease

You satisfy me, expand my mind
My body's never been so pleased

Don't you dare say you're sorry
You cannot undo the past

Why would you want to anyway?
I think you're falling for more than my ***

I won't be a replacement
I could never do what she did

I don't want a carbon copy
I learned what I needed to from him

Your mother accuses you of thieving
Mine points out superficial flaws

We share a lot of the same demons
They may stutter but it's loud

I'm done keeping up appearances
You're weary of a double life

We collaborate so effortlessly
Our future visions intertwine

Do I want to meet your parents?
Mine would love you at first greet

They'd give you a jar of honey
Maybe even some frozen meat

I'll help you to stay sober
You've gotten me to open up

Use my brain, try me on for size
I'll understand if you stop

But, imagine what we could be
I think synchronicity has a cause

Inspiration, it's contagious
Happiness, it tags along
Jane Lame Jun 2015
I learned this in undergrad; That I'm a "yes person" defined. In self-defeatist monotony, I think I burned out my mind.

Hypocrisy personified, notebooks filled with lies. Prerequisites were full of ****. Required, to them, didn't apply.

Monopolistic macroeconomies, business school taught me to hide. A complete lack of self-reliance, an endless search for a diagnosis.

Cross-tabulate, over-analyze. I swore to them, "I'm fine." But, what's an existential crisis? I'm just asking for a friend.

Procrastinate to copulate, never finishing on time. My inability to articulate, dying to feel alive again inside.

Hesitation turned desperation, finally deciding to speak my mind. It only took me five years to admit that I was just too starved to shine.
Jane Lame Jun 2015
Listen to them, the human mirrors.
They'll show you your blind spots-
Underlying issues and fears.

Insecurity and beauty, they walk hand in hand.
The saddest are the pretty, don't you see all the tears?

She confessed- I just can't stop picking at these scabs on my face.
Learn to knit, I suggest, anything to keep those fingers away.

She said- I just need to smash all those god-**** mirrors.
They remember my faults, then I tally my years.

Societal misconceptions projecting hate on your skin.
Get away from that mirror, find someone who's not dim.

Break away from the cycle, don't forget your true worth.
You'll get in your own way, the same boat I was in.

Pegged as a stoner by a man I'd just met.
He could see it in my eyes, how they're half-opened and red.

I told him I'm exhausted, that too often I fret.
There's no way you're that tired all the time, is what he had said.

To hell with it- I blow trees, I take dabs, I love a good trip.
It's just an escape, though, from the state I was in.

Self confidence, I found, in a voice begging to be heard.
Not my mom's voice, but mine- Disappointment's just a word.

Even funhouse mirrors can be as colder than snow.
Human mirrors know empathy, inner love, they will show.
Jane Lame Jun 2015
Doxycycline
Tetracycline
Fix my flaw
I want to be free

It doesn't matter
Or so they tell me
Self worth killer
My own worst enemy

Discomfort in a crowd
Pretending it's class
I want to be loud
Hey, look, a mask

Substance crutch
Just one glitch
There's never enough
Got lost in a trip
Jane Lame Jun 2015
Humpty Dumpty boy
Had a psychotic break
The plants were all destroyed
Your reality was fake
They took down all the lights
Concealed the evidence
We're all out of our minds
Yours just couldn't handle it

What's to blame?
Environment
Or genetics

A getaway in the brain
An escape from what you know
Regretting made up murders
Apologizing to the world
I can't possibly fix this
Please stop saying my name
You think we're in the matrix
Was it me who led you insane

Cause vs. Affect
Was it love
Or just ***

Four years, they disappeared
How much damage could be done
I hope you make it back
Grey haired, green thumb
Nature soothes the nerves
Art can reverse the pain
But one thing is for sure
We will never be the same
Jane Lame Jun 2015
Personality problem monumental
Attempts to change inconsequential

Learning to care
A constant struggle

Desperation to scream
Producing nothing but mumbles

A freshly broken heart
Can make one so humble

Mind pollution
No abatement

Dissolving solution
Emotional Contagion

Recycled love
Halfhearted statements

Am I enough?
Romantic damnation
Jane Lame Jun 2015
He was the solar opposite of discipline- couldn't see the poppies past the ******.

We were just two volcanic souls, looking for an eruption eternal. Finding only how to synchronize delusional.

With three bloodshot eyes, we looked towards the sky. Forever searching for a place that feels like home.

Learn the lesson this time around- don't make his place a frequent location on my iPhone.
Jane Lame Jun 2015
Only satisfied when I'm starving
Only feel alive when I'm dying

Beat me to a pulp
I'm sure I have a pulse

Break every ******* rule
I'll still love you like a fool

Treat me like trash
Please, be here then vanish

Inspire me with rage
Watch me turn the page

I'll move on without question
Thanks again for this lesson

I'll run away with what you taught me
I won't let your memory haunt me
Jane Lame Jun 2015
A glow stick chain spun above bed
Art can make the city howl

As you wish, I said. You said
"I feel like I'm high right now"

A circus show in your living room
Her painting fell from the wall

A mirror, manifesting symmetry
We've been at this for quite a while

I took me six months before
Not that I'm counting the days

If it's quality that you're chasing
I'll throw that ***** card away

I'm searching for my medium
Closer and closer each day

Using words, aiming to break
The space rhyme continuum

— The End —