I hold the cigarette to your lips
I love you
Is that why I feed you cancer?

i'm incapable of following through with human nature
i feel like a broken bone that never set properly
i am knuckles that never stop cracking
since when did the lunch lady begin switching my apple juice with mercury?
there was a code blue at the hospital today which mean that someone was either in cardiac or respiratory arrest
it reminded me of how i feel every time i talk to you
planted on my seat, i picked at the fabric of my shirt and wondered if you would come visit me if i was at the hospital
i hope to a god that i don't believe in that i actually care about you the way i think i do
because my heart is too drunk to love properly and
my brain is too sober to accept that you care

I wish my head would stop turning in the direction of my phone,
waiting with batted breath for the writing of text, an indication you're still awake.
I wish I wouldn't fill up with overwhelming waters of disappointment,
because I already know that you won't reply.
I wish you would text me first because I don't want to seem clingy.
I wish I could stop my eyes from glancing at your name every five seconds,
wishing it was a name belonging to a person I didn't want to need.
I wish I didn't miss you so late at night.

The beginning of the end,
my dearest friend,
how can I explain
that which I cannot comprehend?

These sensations calling themselves out,
Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch.
They all conspire against me,
to make me want too much.

All the while I lay in darkness
painting a coat of dream upon dream,
I cry and scream against myself,
searching for a light at the seam.

Its all a reflection, a mirage
the flickering of lights so blue,
but the closer I bring my hands
I lose the space between me and you.

We are all but an extended reaction
No raw meaning, just sign upon sign.
And our drawings we desperately analyze,
circles we call space and lines we call time.

I object to the objective,
I am desperately trying to see
How to be blind of sight,
and become reality.

Thought I told you we were done and I don't need you.
But here you are in my bedroom.
I tried to push you out but yet you always seem to find a new way in.
You won't give up cuz you know you have control over me.
I have no shame though honestly.
I'll let you take control of anything, I say and anything that I happen to do.

Cuz in the end you seem to disappear.
Is it the fear of loving me?
Do you like to fall in lust when there's no love to be found?
Im curious to see where things are going.
I really wish that you could stick around.
Cuz i know, that when you are ready again. you wont hesitate to let me know.

When the day is done, and you're on your own.
You want to see me again and your heart screams yes, but your body says no.


You just can't resist the urge now.
You had a taste and now your craving for it all the time.
And I can see it on your face now.
Trying to avert your gaze away.
You say that you can't love me, you say you'll never want me.
But your eyes play my favorite kind of song.
All you really want is loving, all you say you want is nothing.
So please don't treat your fantasies so wrong.

Cuz in the end you seem to disappear.
Is it the fear of loving me?
Do you like to just fall in lust when there's no love to be found?
Im curious to see where things are going.
I really wish that you could stick around.
Cuz i know when you're ready again.
you wont hesitate to let me know.

When the day is done, and you're on your own.
You want to see me again, and your heart says yes, but your body says no.
When the day is done, and your in the night.
You cry yourself to sleep allowing your precious soul to take its first flight.

You said you hate me, but you want me.
Now you love me, but you hate me.
Its okay I understand.
What you are going through.
You said you hate me, but you want me.
Now you love me, but you hate me.
You have been hurt so much.
I have never hurt you.

When the day is done, and you're on your own.
You want to see me again, and your heart says yes, but your body says no.
When the day is done, and your in the night.
You cry yourself to sleep allowing your precious soul to take its first flight.

tore myself in two
put on a show for you
the taste of your lips
i hunger for one more kiss
a table for two
only one thing left to do,
you.
we're just a bunch of nobodies
partnership of two wannabes
just a great hyperbole
pathetic in actuality
we’re going no where
we’re bound to tear
i love the recklessness of it all
and fall when you call me your baby doll
id gladly throw myself off a cliff for you
perhaps its time to bid my adieus
but wheres the fun in saying my goodbyes
when i could stay, and let you multiply my butterflies
take from me until i can no longer give
until i forget how to live
forget how to live independently
but i need not worry, you promised me an eternity
and so i trust you with my everything
and you will forever be my king
of this soul, of this body
you’re my new hobby
and perhaps it is unhealthy,
but you’re the only one who loves me correctly
and i could care less
so ill stress, obsess, caress
until there is nothing left of us
just a ceramic jar of ash and dust
and our fates and fingers are intertwined
and you’re confined, all and only mine.

a lot can happen in
f i f t e e n  d a y s

you could go on a vacation
you could get married
you could give birth
you could buy a house
you could get a new job
you could make a new friend

there's so much you can do in
f i f t e e n  d a y s

what did I do in those fifteen days?
I tried to take away my next fifteen days
and all of them thereafter.

I love you, immensely,
Intensely, you set free,
The best of luck, to lust and ****,
Nobody tries contesting

Everything that you see, I don't, can't believe
Let me see the best of me
Perhaps then I won't seem
U-g-ly

Im loyal, and trusting
Guidance is everything
For you I'd give anything
My heart my soul for a diamond ring!

For you are worth more than the stars
That twinkle in the broken glass
The shadows the voices the blood and the pain
I'd suffer it all for you to smile again...

it has been a long time coming, it lasted many years,

now is gone.



all of it, all the straight ideals and weathered work.



who will come laughing?



who else loves rusted nails

reddened eyes?