There are some days when
every encounter becomes a confrontation,
when every incident
feels like an army of arrows
piercing through the shattered remains of your armor.

These are the days where you must teach yourself
to breath deeply all over again,
that your hands weren't always
balled into fists, but that once
held the hand of another.

Sometimes there are days when
you are invisible to affection. You are a ghost
to the ones you crave to love you.
You are withering under a stranger's stare
and ****** you just want to be held
until the cavity in your chest feels warmth again.

You cannot bare to be alone because when
no one's around its easier to decay into
your own sorry nightmare, when all you want
is solitude to override the static in your head.

But just know
it's alright to feel like everything
is just a little too much.
It's alright to unclench your heart
and let your soul spill over
until the air around you is moist
with your tears.
Feel for those
who can't, because
if I could I'd do the same
for you.

Do you ever just sit there
In your living room
Drinking hot chocolate
And listening to the rain fall on the tin roof?

Do you ever just look at him
And think
Man I'm so lucky
I don't know how I deserve you
But oh how I'm thankful

Do you ever just look at your family
And one minute
You hate them
But you really can't
You can't hold anything against them
You really just love them

Do you ever just flick through photographs
Reliving those memories
The laughter
The tears
The regrets
The magical moments

Do you ever just sit there
And think
Man life is pretty **** good
Your grateful
Thankful
Its all working out
Just the simple things

She's a hurricane,
A billowing chaos.
Streets away, you'll hear
The howls at her presence.
For miles you'll feel the air
Choke up.

Girl's dynamic in ways
Unique to this world.
Prominent in a way
I'll never be.

She's a tense muscle
That never relaxes;
A gun with a hairline trigger.
Longs for affection
And intimate hands
But shrinks away
In times of crisis.

For her, everything's a crisis.

Found her on the floor one night,
Lips blue,
Arm belted,
And the voice beyond the veil
Gargling in her throat.
She told me it was nothingness.

Certainly sounded like nothing good.

I've never known a darkness like hers,
Not really.
I don't think she's ever known my peace.

Not really.

Sunflowers
Wild Daisies
Reaching high

Tall above
The Abandoned 
Victory Garden

Once
Abundant
Filling baskets to
Overflow

Enough for all to share
Allowing our love to show

Wild Flowers now dwell
Defiantly
Winding, twisting their way thru

Able to reach great heights
Tall overgrown weeds
That live there too

The garden
A snapshot
of our family's
Fractured Love..

No more bounty here

Only rouge Sunflowers and
Moonflowers, tall Thistles and Weeds.
Morning Glories have risin up
In full display of
their glorious, radiant colors

No intention to Leave.   CMF 8/2014

Things are confusing.
        Life is confusing.
I have a long way to go.
        I have a lot of work I need to do.
                   The question is, can I do it alone?
I’ts hard.
       Asking for help.
                   Trusting.
Letting my guard down enough to admit
I’m not strong enough to handle it.
        This.
Sometimes, it gets to be to much.
But im here.
That’s all that matters.
And I will keep fighting
Staying Strong.

It starts on day one

The hardest moment in your life.
Is stepping up.
Throwing away the blades.
Flushing the pills.
Breaking the lighters.
Healing the wounds.

Day one is the most important.
Right after day two.

But my darling.
What if I don't make it to day one?