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Esmé Feb 2019
The birth of you was magical-
There was laughter, joy, and agony.
Never, though, would I do it differently.
I hold your small body in my arms
still soaked in what’s left of your old home.
Sweet heavenly flower, welcome.
I prayed for you, and quickly you ignited
like fire inside of my womb.
I felt you the very moment you began to bloom.
Whirlwinds and trauma, crying and nausea.
From it all, given a mighty warrior.
Came booming to earth like a meteor.
Golden-haired lass. We love you, infinitely.
-elb
The birth of my third daughter
Esmé Jul 2019
You held the door as I walked away.
You never once begged me to stay.
Everyone is looking at me like I’ve abandoned you.
When you never even tried to pull me
back through.
How dare you try and blame it all on me.
Maybe someday you will finally see.
I changed every bit of who I was to make you happy.
Though when I was hurting, you couldn’t help me.
I tried to be everything you ever wanted.
I was never enough, and now I’m exhausted.
After all the years we spent as one,
I cannot go on, I am done.
Esmé Jan 2019
My little muse,
you feel everything tremendously.
Nurture your soul,
overflowing compassionately.
Light of my life,
Giving love generously.
Go for the depths,
Seek out your curiosity.
Grow with grace,
Touch every heart accordingly.
Playful small being,
You shed light so joyously.
-elb
Esmé Apr 2019
Place your arms softly around my waist.
Flow perfectly in tune, floating in space.
Melting together, like chocolate in my pocket.
Ship us to the moon on your finest rocket.
Blending like colors on Picasso’s canvas,
You draw me in like sugar and anise.
I have a sweet tooth, and you’re just what I’m craving.
Forgive me, I cannot help my misbehaving.
-elb
Esmé Jan 2019
Starving, dreaming, bleeding.
You stand emotionless, I’m screaming.
Bottles shake, produce results.
Less food for me, desire, insults.
Keep moving, show love.
No one will know, hidden, dispose of.
Dizzy, draining, drowning.
Oh, another pound, astounding.
Happy, cheerful, supportive.
Oh darkness.. you are corruptive.
-elb
Esmé Feb 2019
I find myself in a dreamland gathering wisps and clovers. Spilling secrets to the wind, and she carries them away. I laugh and I cry hoping to start anew, but here I am screaming out to you. Wrap me in silk that the sweet worms thread, make me a pillow with the little moss bed. Snuggle up to me and keep me warm, shelter me away from the agonizing storm. Love me softly, don’t make a sound. New buds are forming upon my crown. Oh, dreamland, I’m so fond of you.
Esmé Apr 2019
Slipping and falling
apart
Brittle and frail
bones
Can I return this vessel?
I need to go home.
-elb-
Living with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome
Esmé Feb 2019
Your hands touched where they shouldn’t,
“No” wasn’t an option.
Screaming in a pillow with each
****** that wasn’t wanted.
Esmé Apr 2019
Gravity
Bringing me back down to earth.
Gravity
Knows that love makes you float.
Gravity
Says “no, not this time.”
Esmé Feb 2019
Blended together like fine powder.
Nothing can be louder than the sound of our laughter.
I miss you on most days.
I think of you often.
Holding you near, until I rest in my coffin.
Not sure if I will keep this one.
Esmé Jan 2019
Wine and Saffron petals.
Dripping with dew.
My leaves unfold.
No root is askew.
Here I am waiting.
You’re finally in view.
I’m now in full bloom.
If only you knew.
-elb
Me
Esmé Feb 2019
Me
I like all the dark sides of me.
The filthy, the ******, the slutty bits.
The unashamedly naked.
I love the modest sides of me.
The hidden, the bashful, the tame.
The unapologetically clothed.
Esmé Feb 2019
Losing yourself become an art after so long.
You leave and get lost, you find your
way home. Over and over, over and over.
You feel happy for weeks, and then you’ll find yourself crying. Over and over, over and over.
A spark ignites and you are ready to thrive, then you hide it away. Over and over, over and over.
There is an art in losing yourself. You get lost and you leave, then eventually you’ll find your way home. And finally you stay.
-Elb
Esmé Apr 2019
Fluttering notes of silk,
I taste on the tip of your tongue.
Those honeyed dulcet lips,
electric Kama they have brung.
Tender waves of desire,
tracing every inch of my skin.
Poetic fibers full of curiosity,
body begging for you to sin.
-elb-
Esmé Feb 2019
Heart breaks into pieces.
Cracks delicately mend together with gold.
No raw edge left to touch.
You carry the blood of your ancestors of old.
You’re a mighty, fierce being.
No longer should your hands feel so deathly cold.
Yell at the top of your lungs.
You are a QUEEN, watch in awe as you unfold.
Esmé Jan 2019
She breathes in catastrophic air, but smiles at all who are seeing.
She doesn’t want others to know that she’s internally screaming.
How does one smile as she’s falling apart? It all begins with the beat in ones heart.
Oh, there you are, with hesitation, she says hello.
Who are you? She truly must know.
She holds on to every little word, to know that you see who she is, to oxygenate her world.
Fresh air she feels deep in her lungs, with the decadent nectar sliding from your tongue.
Beaming, brilliant eyes, and a wicked candied grin.
She asks why her, why let her in?
So you quickly withdraw all the things that you said.
There they come, the tears that shed.
She’s here again, gasping for air, all she wants is for someone to unequivocally care.
-elb
Esmé Jan 2019
To sit and watch the utter wonder of the moon
She tilts down and cries out;
“To be seen is to know, and I’ve felt hidden for so long.
To be touched, and to know love, I’m drowning in sorrow.”
I climbed upon her and held her. To feel her warmth in the darkness, she began to brighten.
Ah, here we are. A new moon.
-elb
This is the first poem I’ve written in 9 years. -Esmé
Sun
Esmé Jan 2019
Sun
In my thoughts there is a forest so green,
It gives life to many little things. When
the sun rises within my own mind, we sit
and chatter with no end in sight. We talk about our dreams and what it means to be alive.
She spoke softly and said “with time, you too, will rise.” Gracefully my thoughts disappear, my eyes lift as I take in the air. I feel a kiss
of the morning light against my cheek.
I whisper to her, “it’s so nice to meet.” In
that moment I finally feel alive, here I stand. I, too, did rise.
-elb
Esmé Feb 2019
Turn the pages, rip the book.
I’m tired of the mirror, tired of how I look.
Changes changes, ever to be made.
Staring at the scale, will the numbers fade?
My body is tired, and my body is sore.
I’m quaking and shaking, so deep in my core.
Hold me now as I drift so quick.
Hoping to find peace, will it ever stick?
#ed
Esmé Feb 2019
It’s euphoria.
Altogether ecstasy.
Serendipitous.
-elb
Coffee
Esmé Apr 2019
Wiles, he says, she’s got ‘em.
Silly girl, just trying to find him.
Alighted and blushing, intrigued.
Delicately delighted, freed.
How enticing this has been,
I adore your cheeky grin.
Every spoken word pleasant in discussion,
Such a feeling that has been so foreign.
Tender and cautious,
yet entirely flawless.
-elb
You
Esmé Jan 2019
You
Chestnut waves move free.
Sapphires are brightly gleaming.
Beauty radiates.
-elb

— The End —