Turn the pages, rip the book. I’m tired of the mirror, tired of how I look. Changes changes, ever to be made. Staring at the scale, will the numbers fade? My body is tired, and my body is sore. I’m quaking and shaking, so deep in my core. Hold me now as I drift so quick. Hoping to find peace, will it ever stick?
I find myself in a dreamland gathering wisps and clovers. Spilling secrets to the wind, and she carries them away. I laugh and I cry hoping to start anew, but here I am screaming out to you. Wrap me in silk that the sweet worms thread, make me a pillow with the little moss bed. Snuggle up to me and keep me warm, shelter me away from the agonizing storm. Love me softly, don’t make a sound. New buds are forming upon my crown. Oh, dreamland, I’m so fond of you.
Heart breaks into pieces. Cracks delicately mend together with gold. No raw edge left to touch. You carry the blood of your ancestors of old. You’re a mighty, fierce being. No longer should your hands feel so deathly cold. Yell at the top of your lungs. You are a QUEEN, watch in awe as you unfold.
Losing yourself become an art after so long. You leave and get lost, you find your way home. Over and over, over and over. You feel happy for weeks, and then you’ll find yourself crying. Over and over, over and over. A spark ignites and you are ready to thrive, then you hide it away. Over and over, over and over. There is an art in losing yourself. You get lost and you leave, then eventually you’ll find your way home. And finally you stay. -Elb
The birth of you was magical- There was laughter, joy, and agony. Never, though, would I do it differently. I hold your small body in my arms still soaked in what’s left of your old home. Sweet heavenly flower, welcome. I prayed for you, and quickly you ignited like fire inside of my ****. I felt you the very moment you began to bloom. Whirlwinds and trauma, crying and nausea. From it all, given a mighty warrior. Came booming to earth like a meteor. Golden-haired lass. We love you, infinitely. -elb
In my thoughts there is a forest so green, It gives life to many little things. When the sun rises within my own mind, we sit and chatter with no end in sight. We talk about our dreams and what it means to be alive. She spoke softly and said “with time, you too, will rise.” Gracefully my thoughts disappear, my eyes lift as I take in the air. I feel a kiss of the morning light against my cheek. I whisper to her, “it’s so nice to meet.” In that moment I finally feel alive, here I stand. I, too, did rise. -elb
My little muse, you feel everything tremendously. Nurture your soul, overflowing compassionately. Light of my life, Giving love generously. Go for the depths, Seek out your curiosity. Grow with grace, Touch every heart accordingly. Playful small being, You shed light so joyously. -elb
She breathes in catastrophic air, but smiles at all who are seeing. She doesn’t want others to know that she’s internally screaming. How does one smile as she’s falling apart? It all begins with the beat in ones heart. Oh, there you are, with hesitation, she says hello. Who are you? She truly must know. She holds on to every little word, to know that you see who she is, to oxygenate her world. Fresh air she feels deep in her lungs, with the decadent nectar sliding from your tongue. Beaming, brilliant eyes, and a wicked candied grin. She asks why her, why let her in? So you quickly withdraw all the things that you said. There they come, the tears that shed. She’s here again, gasping for air, all she wants is for someone to unequivocally care. -elb
Starving, dreaming, bleeding. You stand emotionless, I’m screaming. Bottles shake, produce results. Less food for me, desire, insults. Keep moving, show love. No one will know, hidden, dispose of. Dizzy, draining, drowning. Oh, another pound, astounding. Happy, cheerful, supportive. Oh darkness.. you are corruptive. -elb
To sit and watch the utter wonder of the moon She tilts down and cries out; “To be seen is to know, and I’ve felt hidden for so long. To be touched, and to know love, I’m drowning in sorrow.” I climbed upon her and held her. To feel her warmth in the darkness, she began to brighten. Ah, here we are. A new moon. -elb
This is the first poem I’ve written in 9 years. -Esmé