Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
nevaeh Mar 2020
and now we are here.

and i don't really even know where here is.

maybe it isn't a love story anymore,
but it is definitely something,
and i will never forget it.

i love you.
i loved you.
maybe i'll move on,
but this will always be
part of my story.
nevaeh Jan 2021
the words you say
he smiles we fake
the way you save face

all the pretty, empty things

let them go
hit me, scream, cry
throw something, be mad
tell me how much you hate me
scream until i hate you back
let go of the pretty things
be empty
sick of the passive aggressive, just be aggressive.
nevaeh Oct 2020
this dress is itchy
these children are loud
it smells like feet
i have never felt less
like a princess

but you make it easy
to keep smiling
my princess smile is real tonight
nevaeh May 2022
nothing but dead air
for so long
the radio static
hums loud and strong
nevaeh Sep 2020
walking home
all alone

the sky is gray
and my heart is heavy

today the rain
hits the ground
harder than it should
pitter patter drippy drops
rat
nevaeh Dec 2019
rat
oh, you fat little thing
does the smell of pine excite you?
perhaps the fog of apples and spice?
oh, dear little rat
it's all just a dream to you,
isn't it?
that corner sure is lovely
and i am sure you know i'm here.
don't worry
i won't hurt you.
a little company is nice on the holidays, after all.
poem for the little rat hiding in the corner of my room.
nevaeh Jan 2020
if i write you
will you love me
if i kiss you
will you kiss back
if i hurt you
will you leave me
if i break you
will you find happiness again

dont give me your heart
because i am clumsy
and i will likely drop it
then step on it
and not even realize what i've done
nevaeh Jan 2021
i look behind me and i see
a path of blood and glass and rose petals
a trail of broken hearts and hurt words

and i don't want to be that anymore

but i see you all
everyone of you
and i am so, so sorry that i hurt you
i really did love you
some of you, i still do

i am so sincerely sorry
to all of you
for what i have done
and if you could ever forgive me
i would kiss every one of your scars
if i could ever fix this
i would mend all of your broken hearts
Dedicated especially to you, my best friend, the person that i loved the most, the one that hurt the most.
nevaeh Mar 2020
i've been watching you.
i know you know im there.
i've heard about your little jokes.
i see him sitting where i used to sit
walking with you
where i used to belong
talking to you
like he knows you at all.

maybe he does
maybe i never knew you
not the real you

because the you i thought i knew
the you i loved

would not have done this to me.
im sorry
nevaeh Feb 2020
catch feelings
for cute girls,
pretty boys.

fall in love.

deny it.

let them hurt you.
hurt yourself, mostly.

get yourself together,
bring yourself back up.

but **** he's pretty.
it happens like, once a month, so here's to forever darling <3
nevaeh Apr 29
i feel heavy
in my mind and throat
a familiar feeling, certainly
although not welcome
sometimes it feels like the only way to
ease the weight
is to dig it out
grow claws and sink them in
behind my eyes
under my jaw
into the soft space below the back of my skull
rip it all out
tear away at whatever it is
until i feel empty
and clean
again
nevaeh Feb 2021
you can't
be mad
if i don't
pick
you
okay?
nevaeh Mar 2020
i know you want this to go smoothly
and i know you're trying to make it easier
so i only have one rule to add.

until you are 100% done with me,

you CAN NOT fall in love
with someone else
nevaeh Feb 2020
maybe
if i
say
something
you could
understand
what i'm
trying
to
say
yay communication issues
nevaeh Jan 2020
i saw you
today
the way you were acting
was scary
like i might lose you

i cant lose you
because i might lose myself

lost in sad slow songs
in a depressive spiral
aren't we all?

whose idea was
to rely so many emotionally
unstable
people on each other?

---
nevaeh Nov 2020
first, darkness
                            then, little spinning, dizzying lights

       twinkling, little pinpoints of white
                                                           ­       like memories


then the sounds
                               the fuzzy blurry noise
                                                           ­             faded words, echoes

         love,
              memories,
                            stars,
­                                              i am blind.
nevaeh Dec 2023
a white picket fence
and a humble abode
domestic bliss, you could say
but it's far from my home
i lost the poet in me
let go of her dreams
and settled my heart
for what was easy

married, a baby
i love them. undoubtedly
but i lost my fire, my passion
gave up on deep, unfathomable love
and settled for comfort
i forgot dreams of falling for a fellow poet, someone gentle, with an artist's hands
i lost sight of beauty, depth

i just want to be happy
and this is the closest im convinced ill ever get
i think some part of always thought you'd come back. most days, im glad you never did
nevaeh Aug 2020
i hate myself for caring
because i know it only hurts us both
but you fill a space inside of me where nothing else seems to fit

maybe im a *******
because it hurts
and it's awful
and its better than any drug ive done

it makes my hands shake
and my breath hitch
still
i love you
nevaeh Jan 2021
sick sick sick
sick to the stomach
sick in the head

ill and unsightly
avert your eyes
too tall, too skinny
i don't like it
haha yeah i hate myself what about it
nevaeh Nov 2020
to some
jealousy is just anger
maybe even rage

but for me, oh no,
jealousy brings me blindly to my knees.
jealousy leaves me bleeding out in the dirt.

jealousy makes my vision blur
and my stomach lurch
and my lungs squeeze
and my chest burn

for me
jealousy hurts
(in a very real, physical way)
leaving me light-headed and ill
all morning long
you asked if jealousy is the same to others as it is to you - i dont think it is
nevaeh Nov 2021
i am so sick
of feeling my own soggy brain
drag itself in circles
around the same old ****
i am so sick
of caring about people
who want nothing to do with me
i am so sick
of trying
and trying
and trying
keeping myself alive
for a fantasy
a joke of a life
that i'll never acheive
i am so incredibly sick
of pretending to be okay
so i can be there for the people around me
when do i get to be the one that needs help?
nevaeh Oct 2020
click
click
click

back and forth
but there's nothing
to say

for once
i don't feel
(everything)
anything

i guess
some small part of me
felt it coming

some small part of me
knows im not worth
the trouble

im just so ******* sick
of not knowing
what im doing

always oblivious
always hoping
always trying too hard

im so sick
of everybody
getting sick of me
wow im a ******* loser i cant even keep a paycheck let alone a person
nevaeh Nov 2020
i have nothing to say
right now, today
which is strange
because typically,
i never shut up

but today feels just...
i dont know
it feels like it should be quiet
it feels like today
we deserve some silence.
~♡~
nevaeh Mar 2020
six days
you said six days was not enough time to fall in love.

but apparently it's enough to fall out of it.
*******
nevaeh Jan 2020
I walked alone on a cold night, through trees and over graves, to meet my dancing partner. She was solemn and sweet, but thin, too thin; a skeleton. I held her and we spun and swayed in the dark, under the stars. Soon her brittle fingers were warm and lush between mine, and She smiled: not my smile, but my lips, my eyes and skin. Not me but a ghost wearing my face. Slowly as we danced, her body swelled and filled, thicker and warm. She was smaller then me, her bones too short, my skin too loose on her slim wrists and hips. My own  heartbeat slowed as I felt hers grow beneath her ribs. We twirled under the stars and she dipped me, now light, low to the ground, yet no blood rushed to my cheeks, my heart skipped no beat but lacked one entirely. She gasped, a first breath; new and refreshed, Alive. No air flowed to my lungs, for I found that I had none. She lay me gently on the grass, disturbing the nights dew and wetting my skull. She walked away with all of me, and I wondered if anybody ever noticed that I was not me, but a dead girl wearing skin.
nevaeh Aug 2020
tall, actually,
taller than me, even.
i know.
that's ridiculous.
he's 6'3.

...

wow.

kissing him is
kinda good.
i don't have to lean over
i actually kinda hafta go up on my tippy toes

i have never felt small before.
i was the 5 foot 4th grader
"sasquatch girl"
"amazon"
"scyscraper"
"the lurch"
for crying out loud.

but he can hold me
he makes me feel special
he makes me feel
small
nevaeh Jan 2021
in case you forgot
i am a person
and i have a whole life
outside the hour a day you see me.

i exist as more than a ****** love story
i was a person before i loved you
and im still one now that i dont

im sorry, but i dont have time to deal with it
im cool with hanging out, talking, whatever
but the little bubble you've formed
it doesn't have room for me
and i don't have room for it
try to think a little outside of yourself for once
nevaeh Sep 2020
if you hate something
change it.
(because you don't have to be loud or fun)

ditch them
(because sometimes silence is the most exciting)

reputations are nothing more than concepts
the world is barely real as is
(because you are amazing, no matter what)

change it
and forget what others think
(because your health is always the top priority)
you don't have to be anything to be my everything.

+it isn't selfish to need space and time to heal. take all the time you need to be sad and tired. you don't have to push those feelings down for other people. they'll get over themselves or i'll fight them.
nevaeh Jan 2020
your eyes were gentle and sweet
not the fire i usually saw.
it was strange
seeing you so calm and happy
as opposed to your usual chaos
like how a fire
can bring cities down to dust and rubble
or gently warm a family home
i like you both
and i hope you don't leave
i like seeing you sleepy
when you mumble words
that don't make sense
but i can tell what you mean
i like watching your face
change and react to things i can't see
but i wish i could
i like you
a lot
<3 i said i would
nevaeh Oct 2020
a teen dream
of love and lust
of hope and trust

stereotypes
cliches
all the juicy good stuff
living a story
making it real
nevaeh Sep 2020
boredom is heavy
and makes you think
so we spin the bottle
and sip our drinks
we watch it whirl
then kiss our friends
make nothing of it
but boredom's end
at a basement party because school is for losers
nevaeh Jan 2020
i don't know what i'm doing
where i'm going
what id do without you
i can't tell when i'm  breathing
if youre leaving
if i'm living
i don't know
what i’
wantttt
i
have no

words.
are you stil here

am i?
nevaeh Sep 2020
sometimes it hurts
how badly i want you
how badly i want
to be loved by you
why why why
nevaeh Sep 2020
paper wrapper
candy lips
smells like pink
tastes like bliss
mini fantasy
nevaeh Aug 2020
i just snorted the powder
from the bottom
of a sour gummy worms bag

it burns
i need a smoke
nevaeh Oct 2019
scream with me into the abyss
feel with me, such a feeling of bliss
a deeper feeling than desire
a feeling that feels, to me, like a fire
come with me our hearts as one
stay with me til' my days are done
when all light has waned away
i will sing my breath on my final day
nevaeh Feb 2020
i made this week difficult.

i was struggling with myself and i made it hard for you too.
i turned nothing into problems
and blamed those problems for my ****-ups.

i hurt you
and i knew i was hurting you
and i did it anyway.

i said things
and made you sound like the bad guy

but i was a *****.

and im sorry.
i will spend forever saying sorry and hoping you still think it's okay.
nevaeh Sep 2019
sharper than steel
your words stab me
like a blade
slicing through the night
through my heart
carving out the deepest parts
driving them into the dirt
and every single word
every syllable
dries out my lungs
and leaves me on the ground
crumpled up
like the letters i wrote
and as you walk away
i feel the last whisper of hope
seep from the darkest parts of my soul
"sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can break your heart"
nevaeh Oct 2020
can everybody just
calm down
????
please?

you all act
like any of this
even matters

who gives a ****
who kisses who
who likes who
it doesn't matter

like we all gon die someday anyways
so kiss a *****
kiss a hundred *******
do whatever the ******* want
just stop bringing me into it
because i dont ******* care

im just gonna stay in my bubble
happy little nevaeh land
if you want to join me
thats fine
but i dont need you here
so leave if you want to
im not going anywhere
not doing it
nevaeh Jan 2020
i am
too much
too loud
too exited
too much
going on
i need to

c a l m  d o w n

i have
to let
you breathe.
i have
to breathe.

R   E   L   A   X

calm yourself
you are
being too
loud too
exited
too much
of everything

--
i think im coming off as wayyy too strong. its so incredibly stupid but im trying to change my personality back to the quiet calm person i was 3 years ago because i am too much for myself right now
nevaeh Jan 2020
he made you suffer
you make me suffer
i make you both suffer
together we are insufferable
but apart
we all suffer
we cannot stand eachother
and yet we are a perfect harmony
of wild and angry and tense and sad
and yet we are happy
a perfect trio
father son and spirit
him, you and i
i love you both
you love us both
he loves us both
we are one
of suffering
and i hate it
by all means a lighthearted poem
nevaeh Jan 2021
6 feet and 4 inches of man
and, oh boy, is he a man
perfectly cut between soft and strong
with just enough hair on his chest
and a little hair on his face too

he's an amazing kisser
and great with his hands
somehow gentle
and so powerful
at the same time

he's just
so very, very good.
yummy
nevaeh May 2022
warm drops of water drip past my eyes
like the hot sparks of insanity in my mind
so i'll keep my visions to myself
and with them i'll go to hide
nevaeh Apr 2021
every goodbye
is followed by a hello
and every storm
has a ******* rainbow
im stupid
and im young
and i dont understand things like love
and im glad
that some six months ago
i survived myself
because yeah
life is worth living
more often than
it isnt
i agree, **** *****, but not always, and that is the key.
Next page