Umm...
Undermining
My
Mind
Dot of the unsure
Dot of the lies
Dot of the worry

Not sure whether to raise my hand or not.
I know the answer, but...
Flashing memories
Of all the name calling
Of all the crying
Of all “I’m fine”s
When really I’m not.

Not sure whether to tell the truth or not.
I know what I feel, but…
Flashing memories
Of all the screaming
Of all the hiding
Of all the “I feel good”s
When really I don’t.

Not sure whether to show the pain or not.
I know where the pain is coming from, but…
Flashing memories
Of all the fake worried faces
Of all the anxiety attacks
Of all the “I’m okay”s
When really I’m not.

Umm…
Undermining
My
Mind
Dot of the unsure
Dot of the lies
Dot of the worry

1.)
8/12/14 11:48 Pm

Breath in the smell

The smell of your smoking wrist

Burnt with the last razor not stained with blood

Smoke the demons out of the red blood cells

As if you lost the white in the sea of your own tears

2.)
8/14/14 4:59 Pm

I might as well been on the Great Wall of China 

As you pushed me away

Because I’ve never fallen so hard, so fast

And I feel dead

3.)
8/14/14 6:23 Pm

I begged, I kept begging.

For what?

I have forgotten what I wanted. 

I’m ashamed of crying.
Not for the tears

But the bruises left not by anyone
but myself.

I can point you to self afflicted scars

I can point you to the burns left inside my throat by a numbing agent Aka *****. 

I can show you the way my fist curls when I beat the pain out. 

I’ll show you how ****** I am, eventually.

4.)
8/14/14 7:15 Pm

A sharpened knife & a pitch black room

Such a lovely couple

Just light a candle & watch in the dim flickering light as they make red passionate love.

It’s hard to miss, you can taste it in the air. 

It’s almost like a bullet in the mouth ready to be unloaded.
Addendum, plot-twist; the passionate love is my blood.