I march onward
with no destination
o'
spontaneous wandering
like an ant
going round and round
i find myself retracing the same path once again

I wake up to silence
outside my window
the sun shines through the early mist.
i am alone.
cold,
a ghostly aurora that is my own presence
lingers in this empty space
cold,
i am alone.

Your eyes speak to me
a promise never to escape your lips
you feel like empty bed sheets

my little slice of heaven
is lying in your arms
head upon your breast
skin, warm... heartbeat, strong.

what am i feeling?
i look through a misted glass
my heart wants to escape
eyes meet my own reflection
who are you?
ive seen your face before
but i know you not
night lights reflect in your eyes
casting a melancholy glow
are you looking for an escape too?

Can I call it love?
I've become charred like the wick of a candle.
Set ablaze,
only to be blown out with indifference.

clouds parting,
fragments of light shine down
celestial beams,
that highlight the dewy air
l want to drink it in
and rejuvenate my spirit

the lungs of nigh
rest
two shadows in the dark
sinking into stillness

it's strange
this coming to terms with age
my body grew without my mind
i thought i was a child still
upon retrospect
it happened without me
my mind has changed
too many experiences to remain naive

you can love with your body
but can you
with your breath
can you love me with your breath
can you love me with the air that you breathe

with the gentlest of breezes
like the wind that blows
and tells me that I'm safe

sun always same
we never change
just meet under different circumstances
turning round and round

I'm so alone
but i don't know how to change
or if i want to
living in confinement
this is my normal

you wouldn't know what freedom looks like
freedom is fear
freedom is discomfort
walking with your own legs

i'm afraid i might use it
and jump off the edge

Who is this separateness?
the one who parents me,
or the one who bullies.
The one who doesn't claim self,
but stands on the sidelines.
The one who speaks with my voice,
and hears with my ears.
They see with my eyes
but they don't think with my thoughts.
Them and I share much, and nothing.

Peach cobbler sky
in my bowl of milk
round heart
dropped amid the white
color begins to melt together

her voice has
a physical presence in the air
like wafts of silk paper
or the flap of (a) butterfly's wings
something delicate and smooth
calm waters
naught a ripple

i am quiet with awe.

i've been holding my breath so long,
i've forgotten what it is to breathe.
is it painful?

when you start,
it's like breathing water.
first breath is both ecstasy and pain.

is that why newborns cry..?

i am nothing
lighter than air
slave to the breeze
null that i offer
null that i can
i am nothing
nothing can suffer
nothing i am

resting in my cheek
clinking against my teeth
round
hard, but
smooth
the sugar crust
sweet
taking away a little of the bitterness of life

little ball of confusion
like static it tingles
prickly to the touch
sleep in the head

an influx
drum pounding
the blood is in you
it tingles
soaring
i'm flying
my legs are free

i was told to be irrelevant
so don't look at me
you
the object of my fascination
or the image will be broken

the sun is hot
it's heaviness compresses
so that i become tired
i want to be still
but the ground burns

So much energy
declines belonging
trapped inside this
bundle of live wires
tangle
bleeding
like the pulse of streetlights
in the glow of my window
driving down the highway
a feeling I look to outrun

my future is clear as the green
upon stagnant waters
with only one thing for certain

Dance swaying candle
Lo, enchanting flames
Dive into unblinking gaze
And erase my pain
Blow ever with me
You the eastern wind
Entwine with soul and body
Die and live again
The stars that shine above me
With abiding glow
Though we be so far apart
They too must flicker so

Longing migration,
My heart is caged, wings bound.
Searching for springtime

It felt like a dream.
The event unfolding,
In which you said hello.
An unexpected gift,
You gave to me;
A reason to smile.

I wish things weren't
black and white
i find myself
so often
in the gray spaces
in-between

Rain pummels against the pavement of my skull.
So loud is this silence, like static on my tv.
White noise floods the every corner of my brain.
I slide out of people's lives as quickly as I come into them.

I'll be who you want me to be,
if you give me what I desire.
I'll wear the mask.
I'll do the dance.
Powder my rotting face.
This corpse will be your puppet.
I want a new life.
This one was on discount...
Tired of being a second hand man.

absorb my grayness
smear me across your canvas
let it cut through the colors
a contrast sharp and clear

Reflections in a puddle
distorted curiosity
there's more truth
to these ripples
than my mirror

pull me close, and grip me tight.
for as soon as you've got me
i'll dissolve in your palms.
like an hourglass,
sand running
your fingertips;
my silken shadow will drape.
leaving you empty as a drum.

I sit by the stream
and listen.
lapping the rocks,
like children's feet
patting across the pavement
on a summer afternoon.
listen–
you can hear the laughter;
little giggles.
jumping and playing
as it flows by.

My eyes are heavy
everything looks the same
am i awake?

i find comfort in your touch.
like a swaying cradle,
i fall into your arms.
larger than life,
in this tight embrace.
engulfing my body
is your firm muscles,
packed under skin.
i'm like a baby again
at it's mothers breast.
the vibrations of your voice,
rhythmically burrow in,
and calm my busy mind.

Ever on the roam
never staying long
always on a search for
a place that feels like home

tis a shame that where i go
this baggage i bring along
i cannot find in myself
a place that feels like home

o' that i could love
maybe i would find
that home is not an external state
but one that's of the mind

My father is haunted
he sits around an empty table
to visions of what never was
his children are dead and ghosts
but in his mind they are there

My bird's nest
full of little comforts
twigs and sticks
to some miscellaneous
a scavenger's eye sees value

Online persona
social media full
a scavenger
filling my dash
with little comforts

fingers trace
the raised skin on my scarred wrist.
they stop at the sign of my pulse.
i’m going to finish what i’ve started.
i won’t **** it up, i've come so close.
everything is numb.
i hardly felt it this time.
is this what it's like?
to have no future...
time goes on regardless.
think of it,
everything that i am
will only be a memory someday.

...good...