picturesque scene
toothy grin
caught in a dream
highly addictive sin

please pull me in
hands on hips
warm breath and skin
the moon and its eclipse

a hand to hold
chilling breeze
my heart to mold
both minds at ease

umbrellas in bloom
a city rushes like
water down to the bay
my hands sit still
on the coffee table
cupping my drink
watching the canopy
of covered swarms
make their way to
work
it reminds me of
the schools of fish
i used to watch
race around at the aquarium
because
occasionally
there will be one
that seems a little
                                      lost
                      or                             out of place
in the way
they move

Its so easy for these feelings to take back over..
I fight them off for a few weeks but they always win..
But I fight and fight again,
Just simply to begin..

So I continue the good fight..  
All it takes is just a few moments..
To gather myself strong..
To stay away from the wrong..

Just don't get it off your chest..
Keep it to yourself..
If no one truly knows..
Then there is nowhere for it to go..

It can stay with me..
Inside like water..
Taking shape but always pushing..
Against this emotional dam thats leaking..

In the end its me..
Me getting through this..
Me fighting me..
Me making myself see..

Its the other me that doubts me..
Its the me that believes in me..
Constant conflict and compromise..
Emotions in disguise...

-
sometimes i get tired of working,
i'd like to be more free.
not spilling paint,
dotting i's or crossing t's.
so i take a walk, make some tea,
stretch my knees and try to breathe.
-
the warmth of this unsteady breeze,
puts me at ease, it could put me to sleep.
i feel at home among these sad, sleeping trees.
i wonder what gets them down,
or maybe they're just having bad dreams.

dear weeping willows,
of what do you dream?
a cold night of lonely moonbeams,
or of dead tiger lilies floating downstream?
i hope you're happier than you seem.
dear dreaming willows,
why do you weep?

i'm getting tired of it,
waking up once a day,
feeling dead and forever unpleasant.
i love too much,
i'm not much pride to swallow.
let your roots grow into me,
feel yourself waste away.
we wept, sea between beds,
always but a dream never to be seized,
nothing is forever.

Sunlight streamed in to where I sat alone
in the shed

breathing, or sighing--
clothed in nothing but ashen, bare skin
and regrets,

a soft hat pulled low
to cover leaking fluttering eyes,
opening and closing
shifting to let the world slip in and out,

watching golden dust flurrying
in shadows of every corner,

soft flecks of lost things
existing without a single sound,

a warm wind brushing on green leaves feels like a
sunny tear dried face,
blowing away

with lost or man- made dreams
so many "cares," that never really cared
at all,

wood splinters digging into
palms and fingernails,
quietly asking,

are you here

to reflect before or after
a sad, ******* high

or are you just hiding from the world,
trading a flurry of painful life

for every second

of silent solitude