Do you know about the Big Bang?
How everything was once so highly compacted
Did you know that matter can not be created or destroyed?
Every piece of you, every particle, was once something else
You were dust
Stars
Spread across the world
Think about it, how much effort went into making you
Even with the imperfections every human has
Your very being was made perfectly
Beautiful
When someone says you don't matter
If you just can't stop crying on those lonely nights
When you just feel so invisible and little
Remember
Every particle of you had to be there to make you
Your very being is timeless
You are made of matter
Just like the beautiful stars in the sky
Just like the swirling galaxy's and supernovas
You are just as important
You matter
Don't ever forget

Draped,
in a long sleeve
shirt,
to cover the evidence


And painting an expression
of contentful bliss

But it is simply an illusion
for the sake of others


Denial the easiest act to employ



Crimson tears stream down
and pool on the floor

A slight shudder
from the sting of the razor’s kiss


Momentary reprieve
from the turbulance in her mind

This pain her only time of joy



But the outside world only sees
the smile on her face


A subtle attempt to make it seem
like nothing’s amiss

Her false expression
of happiness forever a burden to her

Because no one wants a broken toy…

I walked into a high school,
with one friend,
the only friend I made in elementary school,
who stayed my friend.

My mommy Doesn't like her,

I walked into a high school,
and my only friends older sister,
who felt like my sister too,
Passed away,

the school didn't care that we all cried,

I walked into a high school,
and I tried to make other friends,
and a kid got ******,
and he stole my phone,

the police did nothing to him like the school and he later ***** a girl,

I walked into a high school,
going into a program with high hopes,
only for them to get shattered by those who didn't wanna deal with me,
because people didn't get things related to ADHD,

and I wanted to drop out,

I walked into high school,
and skipped the class,
after the one where the teacher and students all harrassed,
me,

because when I reported it, it was their word against mine,

I walked into high school,
and I talked to the teacher who would harass me,
and tried to make him understand me,
understand how I can't do things like everyone else can,

and he made me head banana masher and then I puked,

I walked into high school,
and Skipped that class for the first time ever,
because the teacher made me *****,
be he was absent that day,

and I got in trouble for skipping and "lying about the incidence"

I walked into high school,
and skipped my classes,
and cried in the bathroom,
and cut myself,

because I couldn't handle my panic attacks,

I walked into high school,
trying so hard to make some sort of friends,
and they yelled at me every time I ******* smiled,
because they didn't want to allow me to be happy,

The school wouldn't let me have friends,

I walked into high school,
and tried to hangout with people after school,
and they just yelled at me,
made up lie about where I was supposed to be,

They tried to get more mom mad at me,

I walked into high school,
oblivious to what love,
***,
or abuse was,

and the boy I was seeing ***** me,

I walked into high school,
on the final day of freshman year,
to take my final so i could get the **** out of there,
and they harassed me the entire exam period.

they said things of confidentiality,

I walked into high school,
and everyday I left in tear,
with a scarred body,
and nothing but fear,

and they expect me to wanna come back the following year?

We're not damaged goods
Maybe we're just lonely people

sometimes words are so unbelievably, inexplicably, incomprehensibly, beautiful.
they can sweep you up off of your feet with their hope, and spin you around in circles with their wonder as you grin at of all the blurred colors around you.
sometimes they can be the only way you make it through the night,
sometimes they can make you fall in the deep-sea-diving type of love that'll make you never want to come up for air,
sometimes they paint pictures prettier than the most stunning sunset.

but on days like today,
the words that bounce around in my head spoken from angry mouths and a tired brain,
all of these words might just be the death of me.

"I'm fine," she says with a halfhearted grin.
"I'm fine," she says again, waving away a helpful hand.
"I'm fine," she says to herself, several minutes later.
"I'm fine," she whispers, wiping her face.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she says moments after the cry leaves her lips.
"I'm fine," she says to herself, sinking to the floor.
"I'm fine," she tells herself, shaking in a ball.
"I'm fine," she repeats, picking up the razorblade.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she says to her concerned family.
"I'm fine," she insists as those who love her worry.
"I'm fine," she says to anyone who listens.
"I'm fine," she lies as she slices her wrists.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she cries, sobbing on the bathroom floor.
"I'm fine," she wails, but only in a whisper.
"I'm fine," she mutters, watching the blood leave her wrist.
"I'm fine," she practices, stepping from the room.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she assures the world outside.

Not once but twice, have I broken your heart,
With each time, a little more I regret playing a part.
I messed up last night, but fixed it today,
Now I've messed up again with nothing to say.

You can't forgive me, but I dont want your leave,
Perhaps it's true we wear our hearts on our sleeve.
Man I'm a ***** up, I hate myself now,
I'd do anything to fix this, but I can't think of how.

We're not better off gone, that is a fact,
Having messed up twice, leaves me sick to my tract.
I am this monster that I see in me,
Perhaps It's better if I leave you to be....