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 Oct 2015
Cowin Alan
I sometimes wonder if I have a problem.
From drinking in bars, to ***** basements.
To late night crashes with beings.
I couldn't care about even if I wanted to.
Because all I ever wanted was you.
And every time my lip touches that cold glass.
I think of your cold skin.
Because you chose to stop being.
You let your demon's take you from within.
In that moment you were no longer being.
You stopped being.
And I stopped being.
Who I wanted to be
And now I am just one of those troubled souls.
Replacing the taste of you
With something new.
The burn of whisky.
The smell of the alcohol on my breath.
My body screams, "STOP!"
But my mind says,"what for...?"
So here I am.
Stuck in this cold cell.
Dealing with this burning hell.
Remind me of the things we were.
And the love you took away.
So this drink is for you, my love.
Let it burn my throat.
So no one can hear my screams.
And let it warm my insides.
So I can pretend I'm me.
 Oct 2015
Cowin Alan
As she lay beside me
I could see the way her skeleton
Stretched out under her skin
Thin, and seemingly frail
I sat in wonder
What kind of life have these bones lived
She was real, and she was alive
But something told me
She was already dead inside
From the lies she told me
To the tales that unfolded me
To the love she would just throw away
She was dependent on attention
Yet, this wasn't enough to appease
The darkness as her demons teased
What is her fate?
I don't know
But hell I would love to see her emotions grow
Into something she felt so long ago
Back to the smiles that has long since passed
 Oct 2015
Just Melz
Consumed by a life
    She couldn't handle anymore
          Ashamed by desires
       Too desperate to score
               It's just too addicting
   She wants nothing more
Watching everything she loves
            Walk out the door
    Finds money where she can
         But still living life poor
          Too smart to get too involved
     And too dumb to ignore it
             She don't even care
      They all call her a *****
Now thinking, as she sees the knife
           This isn't what she prepared for
    But with a little thought, she knows  
It's what she's always had in store
              As she lays, bleeding out
     On her ****** kitchen floor
 Oct 2015
Mysterious Aries
I befriend the antonyms of the light
Now the face of the night won't let me go
No matter what I do, even with all my might
So have no choice but to dance with the flow

I am a man who ate the forbidden apples
Indeed the wisdom of the dark was among the highest
Definitely a door to the unknown, until I am longing for riffles
Because I can take the lies of reality no more, such lunacies

Life was supposed to be a thankful journey
A sweet dance from hello's to farewell
Lucky are those who've found serenity
Who hasn't heard the music of hell

I've been too far, my clock is ticking in a cycle of forever
I need a reformat not just a simple reboot
Do not save any good files, that's not so clever
All parts of me was already been infected even to the root

I befriend the antonyms of the light
Now the face of the night won't let me go
No matter what I do, even with all my might
So have no choice but to dance with the flow...


Written: March 4, 2015 @11:00am

Mysterious Aries
 Oct 2015
Nicole Dawn
I feel like I'm drowning
But I can see others breathing

And somehow
That's my fault

It's like if I could just learn to be normal
Everything would be okay

And back to the drowning thing;
It's like I'm just inches from the surface
But I don't have the energy to reach it

But I also feel like I'm burning
And freezing
All at once

I know that makes no sense,
But it's like being so cold,
Your insides are on fire

I feel like I'll never be enough
Like everything is pointless
And I have no energy
But I can't sleep at night

Like,
I haven't been posting
On this site
Because I couldn't find the strength
But now I'm posting
In a last attempt to hold on

And it feels like being sick
Like, you know you're going to die
And you know it will be soon
You just don't know when

And it's pointless
I'm pointless
Life is pointless
Everthing is pointless

And I don't know what to do

I'm dying,
Please,
Someone help me...


This is how I feel
I don't know what it is
But this is how I feel

(I'm so sorry)
Sorry this isn't really a poem, and it doesn't really make sense but...
 Oct 2015
Eriko
I try to hide my own misery*
and ignore through laughter
yet it shows in my paintings
at how the brush strokes
bleed with raging emotion
and the color black
keeps on creeping back
sometimes I suffocate
in the irreversible essence
of music lacking in syllables  
like an abstract painting
the truth is hidden
only in the eye of the beholder
yet, the tragedy of all of this
is as the one who wields the brush
and select the palette of colors
I end up seeing myself
on the canvas
and it reeks sickly, sweetly, violently
and it screams
so all I can hear
is the misery
of my very own
*existence
 Oct 2015
Bec
I found a rock and
it reminded me of you
because when I threw it I
expected it to break but
instead it broke what
it hit and now you're
fine while I'm still
picking up the pieces
 Oct 2015
Ciel
Sometimes the world hands you moments.
Quiet moments,
Like lonely late night bus rides,
Where everyone is drooping in their seats
After long days at work.
Like hospital waiting rooms,
Where people are too tense,
Mouths clenched shut,
Only opening their mouths to whisper
Words of prayer.
Like early Sunday mornings,
When family is sleeping in,
And you lie alone
With your thoughts
Your body still too heavy to get out of bed
Like trying to run through water.
These small moments,
These little gifts can be wonderful,
Until the loud silence
Leads your mind to dark places
Filled with the wild hushed voices
You've always tried so hard
to keep untouched and noiseless,
Like you do late buses
Or waiting rooms
Or being awake early Sunday mornings.
But your thoughts drift towards them
And reach through the gaps,
Pulling and tugging at the monsters
And creatures you've tried so hard
To stuff away in the little boxes
In the corners of your brain,
Piled with forgotten toys and old socks
All of them covered in a thick layer of dust.
They've clawed out too quickly
For you to stop the probing fingers,
And suddenly you're trying hard
To stop tears from flowing,
But it's like trying to stop water from flowing
Out the gaps between your fingers,
You have no choice but to wait
Until there's no more water left to flow,
Or the bus ride is over
Or the doctor calls you over
Or you can't wait anymore
And you just have to get up
And go somewhere where the voices can
No longer be heard.
 Oct 2015
Ananya Nagar
तुम्हारे होने का अहसास
मुझे जीवित रखता है ...
क्यूंकि
मैं जिंदा हूँ  ....


टूटी रीढ़ की हड्डी ...
बैसाखी के सहारे चलती
इस काया  को संभाले
आगे बढ़ता मैं
क्यूंकि
मैं जिंदा हूँ  .....


तुम मुझे कुचल दो  ...
तुम मुझे अंधेरो में
कच्चे पथरीले रास्तो पे
अकेला छोड़ दो ...
जहां मैं खुद को भूल जाऊं ....
अँधियारा गहरा पाऊं
फिर भी कहूँगा ये .....
मैं जिंदा हूँ ......



तुमसे बिछड कर
मुझे सांस लेना मुश्किल लगता है ....
फिर भी
बस तुम्हारे लिए


मैं जिंदा हूँ .......
 Oct 2015
Nicole Dawn
Have you ever seen someone
Fall in slow motion?

A seemingly gentle descent
Till they hit the ground?

That's not possible
You reply

What about that boy in your math class,
Who committed suicide last year?

What about that little girl
Whose father beat the life out of her?

What about the teenager
Who took their own life?

What about all the people
Who hurt themselves each year?

What about the man
Who blew himself up last month?

What about that woman
Who hung herself from all the stress?

What about that mother
Who drowned herself for losing her baby girl?

What about me?
Have you seen me?

I'm falling
Falling slowly, but surely
And the ground is getting dangerously close

Trust me,
**It's possible
Why do people never see it?
 Oct 2015
Liam

a life I never owned,
a sacrifice I never tried,
a fade away dream
I never step
upon
.
Lost in trail
craziness in a mess
blown away on unexpected things
I let go of the dream
I just couldn't
have
.

collab with Pax
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