If losing yourself is like drowning in the deepest sea
Then I'm being drowned by society
Down into isolation and darkness
I realise it's important so hark! This
Person is finding out just who they are
It's taken time and I've travelled far
But I'm sinking and flying at the same time
If you've got a problem you can wait in line
Behind all the bullies and people I've been mean to
I'm starting to get my problems seen to
By doing it myself and carpe firm
I need to be me so they can be them
Heading down I don't know the words
But up in the sky it all seems absurd
It's safer to be a serious straight woman
Than a fun bi genderqueer who can
Do whatever the hell they like
And don't feel scared be "***" or "****"
Being yelled at across the street and whispered on the stair
Because confidence means they just don't care
What people think or how they behave
So standing up for myself isn't brace
It's supporting human rights and I have a right to be
Here on this earth as part of this world
Not in the sea or sky, not boy or girl

The greyness will not go
From my mind, from the world
A dome of haze surrounds this troubled town
Dense, thick, ****** into the ground and out to the sky
From my soul, from the world
I'm not so far from sitting with the wild eyed vagrant
Watching all hope walk away
From my heart, from the world
A cruel twist of fate this is- when it began
Troubles came from a solution
From my pocket, from the world
Thanks to inefficiency, from the privileged
I have no food coming
From my hand, from the world
Dreams of warmth and meagre luxuries
Seem so distant, so impossible
From my head, from the world
If I can't survive this month on air
I shall go from my home
To the street, to the world.

Those first touches, caresses
So gentle, so light I thought you a ghost
And yet how could I ever miss you
With your cold beans and your microwaved toast
I can't remember when they started,
But I will never forget them turning into something more
Accidental marring and patterns traced
You never knock normally on my door.
Touched aren't ghostly when everyone leaves
A night of mad men is making me mad
Game of Thrones was just a pretence; you knew.
It was exciting and safe, your nerves made me glad
Because our tentative exploration developed so fast
Practice makes perfect,
Mutual inexperience was cute
We learnt of our actions and we learnt of each other
A background film was certainly astute
You made your mark and I made mine
You teased, you were subtle, my arm shows your line
My canvas, your neck, headphones hide the divine
My bra covers all, on your eyes mine do dine

Should be crying but I want to laugh
And dance in glee
Where are my tears?
The rivers are dry and the sun beats down

Soon our love will be over
Soon our love will end
There'll be laughing and kissing and making love
And giggling and playing until the shove

And when it all has ended
I'll still remember you, remember you

We keep going like we're the same
Pretending that we haven't changed
But we've grown up, and we've grown apart
You'll always have a place in my heart

And when it all has ended
I'll still remember you, remember you

Childhood crush became a summer fling
That turned into a long term thing
But we aren't kids with innocent smiles
I see the world when I look in you eyes

And when it all has ended
I'll still remember you, remember you

There's blankness in my eyes and pain in yours
I can't remember anymore
You can't forget, and it's eating you whole
These two kids are now two damaged souls

So mixed up, so confused
I don't even know what I can do
To stop this all
So if you know, give me a call

Caught in the middle of all of it
Want to run away for a bit
Or forever, just to get away
From everything that's in my head today

My heart is torn up like bits of confetti
Abandoned on a stage floor and yet he
Has no clue what he's doing
When he flirts with the girl in
Alternative clothes with the sassy words
Even if I tried I wouldn't be heard

I say I've moved on from the sweetest kid
That I've ever met and what I did
To **** it by panicking about how to be
instead of just relaxing and sharing me

So I get jealous of mascara and lipstick
Because she doesn't have to think
About making the wrong move or what she says
Flirting with him as I hide my face

I'm emotionally drained from all of it
But people are just my kind of hit
To stop the sadness from gushing and flowing
So I'm in withdrawal when I say I'm going
The symptoms set in so turn up the music
And drowning them out is what I pick

Even if it doesn't work I can say I tried
But 'tween my heart and my head I'm going to die
From overload of emotions and thoughts
I'm tired of falling- I want to be caught

Tripping and stumbling and getting back up
Is all I do so pour me a cup
Of the strongest thing you can find
And let me leave the past behind

As another day passes by
I'm trying to deny that I want to die
So save me from it all, don't let me be dead
Let my heart and my head
And my soul be whole
Let in the new and let go of the old

Lassie, sweetheart, love
That's not my name
Calling loudly, feel like I'm dying
Embarrassed, school skirt flying

Pet, darlin', hottie
That's not my name
Followed up the street, feeling scared
Don't know how to get help, if I dared

*****, ****, ****
That's not my name
Cop a feel when you go by, want to be sick
I'd never see you again, if only I could pick

Girl, gorgeous, lovely
That's not my name
Mind blanks on procedure, sheer panic as you come
Pushed up to a wall, you grab my ***

Beautiful, star, babe
That's not my name
I cried when you came home with me
After dinner, you claimed your fee