I don't want to be just another notification.
Just another bland "like" on your poem,
followed up by yet  another generic comment.

I want to stand out in my attempt to show you how much the words you wrote meant to me.
I want you to understand how close you've come to understanding something deeper -
Something inside of me.

But maybe that's just the thing:
We're all trying so desperately to be understood.
A handful of anonymous clicks hardly does us any good.

Just another means to a fix -
Another indulgence of an insatiable addict.

I'd quit if I could.

Your a big puzzle piece in my life.
Walking away would forever leave me incomplete.

There is poetry in blood- in the veins
that licked up my spine and down
a silhouetted profile in last night's lusting whisper
and this mourning's coffee.

There is something in the way
she holds the knife-cutting
onions for tacos and
laughing for the guests, pulling

down her sleeves, adjusting
her hair in the
reflection of the sink. She looks
just fine
this way, using
these silver deposits to search
for something- perhaps
lost down the disposal
or obscured by drops
of blood from where she nicked
herself.

And she watches the blood seep and
her lines blur with
these words and
the page- or is it
her face?

It blushes.

We were strangers
Who came with words,
We have a flawless storyline
And wrote our own lies.

Those ravishing words
That turned into
An ocean of aesthetic lies,
Then I drowned and can't swim.

We're now inarticulate
And we both share
The same ghost
Contradicting everything special
That we lost in a blink.

I was the moon and stars
Who swallowed his darkness,
He was the setting sun
Who have put me down,
I guess I was in love with an idea.
(J.a.t.m)

I feel like I'm drowning
But I can see others breathing

And somehow
That's my fault

It's like if I could just learn to be normal
Everything would be okay

And back to the drowning thing;
It's like I'm just inches from the surface
But I don't have the energy to reach it

But I also feel like I'm burning
And freezing
All at once

I know that makes no sense,
But it's like being so cold,
Your insides are on fire

I feel like I'll never be enough
Like everything is pointless
And I have no energy
But I can't sleep at night

Like,
I haven't been posting
On this site
Because I couldn't find the strength
But now I'm posting
In a last attempt to hold on

And it feels like being sick
Like, you know you're going to die
And you know it will be soon
You just don't know when

And it's pointless
I'm pointless
Life is pointless
Everthing is pointless

And I don't know what to do

I'm dying,
Please,
Someone help me...

This is how I feel
I don't know what it is
But this is how I feel

(I'm so sorry)

__________

To forged a smile everyday

And joined the crowd and be okay

My face tattooed the image of clown

To hide a man who's so feeling down

A flower is something
You give it love.
A flower is something
You give it water.
A flower is something
Who help you breath.
A flower is something
Who makes you smile.
**even if you don't want all of this you take it cause you just and simply need it