Feeling at this time, that I should really go to bed, but
Still I lay awake, and contemplate, what Fred Hampton said:
“If you dare to struggle, then you dare to win, if you dare
Not to Struggle, then you don't deserve to win.”
They shot him dead in his bed, tell me how long has it been?
10, 20, nearly 50 years, since the things that happened then,
What happened to the Panthers, Malcolm X and Dr. King, or
The Anarchists in Spain, the songs of victory they'd sing?
What happened to the world of struggle, in which they all used to live?
Where liberation's sweet embrace propelled the efforts they would give
You see, we need to put the ‘unity’ back into ‘community,’ and
That begins with you and me, living side by side, and
Working with each other, taking measures to deride, the
Ills of our condition that serve only to divide,
Those old notions of race, those old notions of gender, with
Raised fists, as we march, taking heed to engender,
A whole new way of life, and a vision to render,
Filled with class consciousness, making us a contender,
Maybe I could lie down, and I could find some rest now,
If we would only stop to realize that we're the real ‘how.’

There is a certain absence that echoes when it rains
I can feel it, in the storm of my life
And I can feel your absence as much as the rains'
You, today, I knew you were looking for me
When the bus pulled up and our eyes met
And it was like this chasm between us
Was closing and reopening in turbulent uncertainty
And we smiled at each other but with such sorrow, too
We spoke and laughed and I could almost forget
How terribly imperfect things between us are
I forgive the you that I know no longer lingers
I ask you forgive yourself, achieve inner peace
If we could escape to other lives and exist together
recreating ourselves far from judging eyes, I would
I would ignore the scolding of my mother
And the wrath of my friends
They don't know you like I do, don't love you like I did
I don't know if I still love you, or if it is just twin souls
Connecting again in joyous reunion
But I was looking for you, too

Fear wake me up
In the middle of the night,
Terrified I will awake to the imprint
Of where you used to lay
And the door left wide open.
When you leave,
All of my broken pieces
Will go with you.
Most days I feel like jumping out of my skin
Yet for you,
I would take the risk
To stay in it.
For you,
I would take the risk
To live this life
One
Day
  At
   A
    Time.

I still can hear the drifting cars
and burnouts in my ears.

feels like it was just yesterday
where red lights lasted years

skies were full of rubber--smoked,
sun was cold and hot

a yesterday from months before
I couldn't have forgot

I feel your hand collapsing mine,
the jokes and many laughs

comradery amongst the rain,
perfume, cologne, race gas

I just had slipped up days before
and told you my heart fell

sun set and woke, so many jokes,
cars ran parallel.

a yesterday I won't forget,
you took my hands in yours

the sun hiding behind the clouds
few raindrops on our pores

while pistons move in cylinders
two cars line up somewhere

crankshafts like jacks in boxes,
and wind blows through our hair

you looked at me like time was lost
while friends sat watching speed

my heart beat faster than the
boosted car that I heard lead

surrounded by our favorite things
a few people that we knew

I saw a smile fill your eyes
when you said "I love you."

One day i woke up at around 11 am.
I went down stairs everyone else was asleep.
I went in my kitchen.
I was going to make something to eat.
I grabbed a knife.
I stared at it.
i went in my back room and sat on a chair.
I sat there for 3 hours.
Thinking, of my mistakes, the pain,the hurt.
It was january 13th
A piece of snow started to fall.
I looked around me.
I looked at everything.
I remembered every little thing about that moment right there.
I thought to myself im to much of a coward to cut myself.
I thought wrong.
I put the knife away.
Then I looked at it again.
Everyone was still asleep..
My mum was dead asleep.
I sat there again.
On that chair.
I took the knife and started going across my wrist back and forth..
Then it broke threw.
My wrist started bleeding.
I cut further down.
From that day on i cut myself every night.
Within one week i had 100 scars on my wrist.
After that it kept adding.
I broke my vein for the first time on my birthday..
During this time i started starving myself around january 20th.
I stopped eating.
I could barely ever sleep.
The day of my 14th birthday i took that same knife and stabbed it straight threw my wrist..
Today is july 4th
we're supposed to go out tonight
I'm sitting here.
8ame.. everyones dead asleep.
I'm staring at the knife again.
I'm here to say my goodbye.
This time i look outside.
Theres a bird.
Im on the same chair.
Only different season.
For whoever finds this.
I'm sorry for the pain.
But i am dying inside every day.
So here goes the knife threw my wrist..
Goodbye world.