Physically, I'm okay, emotionally I am colder than any winter.

She is just an arsonist
Setting hearts on fire
Strike a match to her latest catch
Ash deep in desire

She is just an arsonist
Fanning hot the flames
Adding twigs in the shape of men
Burning each of them

She is just an arsonist
Destruction in her wake
Trial by fire burns hotter
If you're caught up in her blaze

Don't be fooled

By the smile that seems graced by the sun
The aurora around her glow with radiance and flare
Behind it she hides lies that will send you on the run
She's cunning, malevolent and bitter
She will not be outdone

Don't be fooled

She's warm and kind
Loving and affectionate
She walks on broken glass
Till her feet begin to bleed
She'll hold back the tears as the pain kicks in
But look within her eyes and they are as deadly as sin

Don't be fooled

She plays games with your mind
What's the truth? What's the lie?
Nobody knows the reality
As she is especially sly
Is she putting on an act
Await those to fall in
Or she simple alone
Faking that diabolical grin

Don't be fooled

Her reality is different from you and I
Mind a scatter, broke pieces they lay
Destroyed by self or others
We'll never know
As this place is secured away
Like the land underneath the snow

Don't be fooled

Warm hands and cold hearts
Wreak havoc together
Destined to heal others while tearing them apart
love her, hate her and everything inbetween
She will find your stitching and undo each and every seam

Don't be fooled

Each line holds some truths and fair few lies
But the talent of distinguish which is which
I've seen many people who have tried
The truth is that not even she knows herself
So how is it possible for anybody else to know her true self

Don't be fooled

I can hear her voice quietly
whispers falling to deaf ears
You are a fool
but there is nobody here

“Oh, I forgot about you”
There goes a brick.

“You don’t mind if we go without you, right?”
Thud, there’s another.

“Could you just shut up for a second?”
Another.

“I can’t be around you when you’re sad”
Another.

“What’s wrong with you? I have it worse”
And another.

“Honestly, I didn’t notice you were here”
The bricks stack nicely on one another.

“I’d rather hang out with someone else, sorry”
My hands are raw from building.

“You’re a friend, you’re just not a best friend, y’know?”
The wall is getting higher.

“...”
I can’t see anyone anymore.

Are you okay?
Are you alright, are you fine, are you good?
Are you adequate, are you decent?
Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to?
Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up?
Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no?
Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay?

You will be okay.
You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good.
You will be adequate, you will be decent.
You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you.
You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily
You
are going to be okay.
So please smile sunshine
It’s a fine new day
To be okay :)

- a.g.

as a young girl
I told my mother
I would never get married
and I stuck by that
for years

I got a boyfriend
but I knew
I was never
going to
actually
marry him

but as time goes on
and I get older
and people around me
are getting married
and starting lives
I keep listening to love songs
and noticing
what I want
in a husband

and I am not one
to settle
or settle down
but I made a
google doc
devoted to songs
I want played at my wedding
even though
I've never wanted
a wedding

my loneliness keeps creeping
in
watching me
but
I've finally
succumbed to it
and I want
to make it go away

and for the first time
in my ever expanding
life
I want to stop being alone
and can't stop pondering
childlike
dream wedding
fantasies

****

She can walk
          between
             night and day
               never letting either
                  get in her way.
She learned this trick
                     many moons ago
                                by
                     going deep within
           and never letting it show.
Her soul is innocent
her heart is pure
she’s gone through more
than most could endure.
            She’s an angel of light
                 an angel of dark
                 you never know
              what you will spark.
                      You want to hurt her?
                         Please, go ahead and try
                           she’ll be the one to show you
                                  just how well she can
                                                              f
­                                                                l­
                                                                ­  y.
                                  Her soul innocent
                    her heart pure
      but never think for one minute
that she’s not secure.
                                Say what you will
                          please, do what you must
                       but your jealousy and hatred
                             won’t waver her trust!
~

Sunsets are breathtaking
They paint the sky
With pretty flames
Its a beautiful sight

But behind you,
Is the world's shadow
Dark, dull, a sooty blue
The part that goes unnoticed