that moment when you realize
too many of your poems
share the same title
because you are
unoriginal
af

I do not wish to be dead
But I feel as though there's nothing left
You slipped through my fingers like water
And splashed to the ground like the blood of a lamb at the slaughter
I begged you please to stay here
But you decided to let go at almost our third year
I cried to you and was vulnerable
You sat there dry eyed, comfortable
What more can I say except I miss you
I hold on to your shirt and beg to kiss you
But with no success again I digress
A friend of mine called me today
Crying about her boy and I told her what to say
I stayed composed and showed no sorrow
I was at her side so she could live through till tomorrow
But what a hypocrite I must be
I stare at the metal against my pale skin in envy
I told her to hold her heart on her own
I insisted that no matter what she's never alone
I hung up 12 minutes later and burst into tears
I wish I could take away her pain and all of her fears
But could anyone say the same for my troubled soul?
Today is the day I broke and am no longer whole
I am trying to search for my broken pieces
Like the Shikon Jewel they're scattered and the distance increases
You are free from your obligations to me or my world
I'll lay in my bed hungry, tearful, and curled
No motivation I wake up just to sleep
My emotions are thick and their rivers run deep
You course through my veins like a potent pain killer
Or maybe like lidocaine acting just as a filler
The pain is still there but I can't feel it now
My body is numb and all feeling is gone, how?
I could get used to the feeling of emptiness
I could learn to like my hollowed out chest
Some are designed to be left all alone
People like me, these creatures of stone
I'd do it all again if you gave me the chance
I'd put my shattered heart back in your hands

Are 'alone' and 'lonely' the same thing?
Are you as alone in a crowd
as you are by yourself?
Is your loneliness the mist
floating on the water
or the lurking creatures
beneath the sea?

When life hands you lemons,
Say **** the lemons and bail
When life rains on your parade,
Dance in that *****, unless it's hail
When life hits like a ton of bricks,
Hit it back like a ******* tanker
When life feels like it's moving too fast,
Clothesline that little ******
When life comes at you hard,
Put that ******* in it's place
When life acts like a bully,
Slap the ******* off it's face
When life feels like a black hole,
Rush in that *******
When life treats you unfairly,
Make sure she knows who struck her
When life backs you in a corner,
Show off with the butterfly knife
When your ready to believe in yourself,
Say, "bring it the **** on life!"

Do you ever feel lonely?
Ever feel like the everyone else
Has this life, planned out
But you’re just wondering

Like a lost soul,
Trying to find you’re place,
But never finding it,
Never finding where you fit in,

Never finding the place
Where you feel just right,
Like you’re just stumbling
In the night,

See even if I found my place,
I’d probably still feel unwelcome,
That’s just how I think now.