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Arden Apr 2019
you sit in your pulpit all holier than thou  
claiming if it was the 50's
you would fight in the civil rights movement  
but now you are sitting back doing nothing

so  

shut the **** up  
you don't get to watch kids being  
pulled from their parents and do nothing  
while saying you would have fought for
people of color  

you are lying there is no other way to put it  
you ******* coward  
and by the way the fight for  
people of color isn't over so
get off your *** or shut up
Arden Apr 2019
I just realized that peter pan is actually an angel
And neverland is heaven
Those kids didn’t age because they were dead
I wish I didn’t age

I try to put my mental health before education
But then it affects my education which effects  
My mental health which effects my
Educ- you get it

Do you realize we are the kids our parents
Warned us about

I am an overly emotional
Clingy
Distant private person
Who has the tendency to overshare at any moment
And I don’t know what the **** that means
But I'm going with it

This poem doesn’t really have a meaning
But I think that might be the meaning
Arden Mar 2019
I know how many stories is tall enough
I know how much Windex I have to drink
I know long I have to be alone in order to hang myself
I know where to cut
I know how many pills I have to swallow

So you ask how come I keep trying and keep failing
Listen you have no idea how ****** windex tastes
Listen I can't get to the roof of the buildings
Listen All the pills are in a safe
I do everything wrong
I can't even die correctly

But I don’t want to **** myself anyway  
My uncle shot himself
And I watched my grandmother lose a son
I watched my dad lose his best friend
I have seen what it does to people and
I have felt that feeling

I don’t want to **** myself
I just want to be in a coma
Arden Mar 2019
1) Mental hospitals are more like dramas/comedies than horror
    films. When people think of psych wards they think of criminally
    insane people rocking back and forth, talking to their imaginary
    friends and throwing chairs. Don't get me wrong, there's some of
    those. But most of us just do word searches, color, joke about
    serious things.
2) We aren't monsters, we are your brothers, your daughters, your
    mother, your co-worker we are just regular people who have lost
    our way and need some help finding the path again
3) I am closer to people I knew for 2 weeks than I will ever be with
    anyone on the outside. Yes we all call it the outside
4) Sometimes talking to people who understand what you're going
    through is more therapeutic than the actual therapy groups. This
    is not to say that the doctors there are crap it is just to say that no  
    matter how much they read and listen they will never truly
    understand what it feels like unless they have been there and we
    can tell who has been there, they go the extra mile to make us
    feel like people
5) It's not a vacation, it's not fun, it's not an escape from the real
    world. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is work.
6) Everyone in there is a person in unbearable pain but it isn't just a
    bunch of people sitting around crying. We go from group to
    group and then color and go to bed nothing about it is really fun
    but you get used to it
7) The mental hospital is like a camp for empty people, just like a
    band camp we can all relate to each other and makes you feel
    less alone
8) Getting discharged it a great feeling because you are free, but it
    is also completely terrifying, in the hospital it's safe, people get it,
    there is always someone to talk to and now you're all alone
9) Just because I've spent 7 and a half weeks in a mental hospital
    over 2 stays doesn't mean I am fixed there is no cure for my
    illnesses and that's just the way it is
10) We are not who you think, the kindest people I've ever met
     were also the ones hurting the most.
Arden Mar 2019
you know what's creepy about humpty dumpty? they never said it was an egg
don't you dare sounds normal, but do not you dare sounds weird
envelopes are strange. its like here's a paper wrapped in paper that i sealed with my saliva
butter is food lotion
when you wait for the waiter you are the waiter

How much pain do I have go though until giving up is okay?
Arden Mar 2019
• You're not a burden
• It's ok to be struggling
• It's ok to tell people you're struggling
• Please tell people you're struggling
• Don't suffer in silence. Tell someone. Get help
• It's ok to need help
• The world is more beautiful because you're in it
• You are worth it
• Thank you for existing
• You're beautiful
• Please stay alive
• If you're looking for a sign not to **** yourself, this is it
• People love you
I love you
Arden Mar 2019
I'm not searching for my other half
Because I am not half

I am so much enough
You have no idea how enough
I can be

How enough I am

Trust me I will
Make the time to
Prove to you that
I do not need someone
Else to complete me

I can create my own sunshine
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