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Arden Mar 2019
1) Mental hospitals are more like dramas/comedies than horror
    films. When people think of psych wards they think of criminally
    insane people rocking back and forth, talking to their imaginary
    friends and throwing chairs. Don't get me wrong, there's some of
    those. But most of us just do word searches, color, joke about
    serious things.
2) We aren't monsters, we are your brothers, your daughters, your
    mother, your co-worker we are just regular people who have lost
    our way and need some help finding the path again
3) I am closer to people I knew for 2 weeks than I will ever be with
    anyone on the outside. Yes we all call it the outside
4) Sometimes talking to people who understand what you're going
    through is more therapeutic than the actual therapy groups. This
    is not to say that the doctors there are crap it is just to say that no  
    matter how much they read and listen they will never truly
    understand what it feels like unless they have been there and we
    can tell who has been there, they go the extra mile to make us
    feel like people
5) It's not a vacation, it's not fun, it's not an escape from the real
    world. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is work.
6) Everyone in there is a person in unbearable pain but it isn't just a
    bunch of people sitting around crying. We go from group to
    group and then color and go to bed nothing about it is really fun
    but you get used to it
7) The mental hospital is like a camp for empty people, just like a
    band camp we can all relate to each other and makes you feel
    less alone
8) Getting discharged it a great feeling because you are free, but it
    is also completely terrifying, in the hospital it's safe, people get it,
    there is always someone to talk to and now you're all alone
9) Just because I've spent 7 and a half weeks in a mental hospital
    over 2 stays doesn't mean I am fixed there is no cure for my
    illnesses and that's just the way it is
10) We are not who you think, the kindest people I've ever met
     were also the ones hurting the most.
Grace Conde Jan 2019
Tenebrous days in which it feels as though you will never be happy again; nothing is wrong, but nothing is right. You spend all day switching between uncontrollable crying and complete and utter emotional numbness, feeling stuck in time, as though everything is moving in slow motion. For you are trapped underwater, and all of your energy is put into just keeping your head afloat above the murky water.

Black ink running though your veins, coughing for air, you fear the darkness inside you is contagious. Slowly sinking, ears ringing, muscles aching, bloodshot eyes, your head throbbing every time you blink.

You watch the light dance across the room as the days fade into dusk, closing your eyes, and letting the shadows cover you like a blanket. And you beg, you plead, you pray, that the next breath you take will be your last.
Kira Nerys Nov 2014
My brain is confused
My brain is confused
My brain is confused

My brain is a broken record
Repeating things until I comprehend

I lost my favorite sweater
Man that was my favorite sweater
God ****** that was my favorite sweater

This is where I tear apart my room
This is where I throw things
This is where I start to yell
This is where I cry
And cry
And cry
I am so ******* stupid its just a sweater
This is where I move on

My brain is confused
I look at life like it's a movie
I don't need to worry about school
My degree will just happen
Love will just happen
Life will just happen
Then I freak out when I remember my life isn't scripted

My brain is confused
I'm happy that I'm sad
But I'm angry
about being happy that I'm sad

I cry when I'm happy
I cry when I'm sad
I cry when I'm angry
My brain is confused

Nobody loves me
But I have a friend who will hold me till I can breathe again
And I have a friend who will talk me down from suicide... Again.
And I have a nephew who thinks  I'm his world
And I have a father who gives me money for food
Even though I haven't asked for his care for over a year
But nobody loves me
My brain is confused

I don't remember last year
I don't remember last night
But I feel like I remember tomorrow
My brain is confused

My vision is blurry
But I can see my thoughts
With open eyes
They stand in front of me
They talk to me when I'm lonely
And I know they aren't real
But my brain is confused

I want to dance all night
Even when I'm stuck sitting up in bed
So my mind races
I want my teddy bear
I want a hug
I want love
Now I'm sad
Now I'm scared
Now I can't breathe
I need to move
Its 2 am but I need to move
I need to move
I can't
I can't breathe
I can't breathe
I'm shaking
I'm trembling
I'm convulsing
But I'm moving
I'm moving
I can breathe
I can breathe
I sleep

I wake up at noon
I don't want to move
I don't want to move
It 4 pm and I still haven't ate
Its getting dark and I still haven't moved
Now its 2 am and
My mind races and
I need to move
And I rinse
And repeat till I comprehend
But I won't comprehend
Because my brain is confused
My brain is confused
My brain is confused

— The End —