The stress from today
Travels with me again tomorrow
Like weights on my shoulders
Unable to be thrown off
Until daylight shines
Lifting it away
But not for very long
Because the stress from yesterday
Starts again tomorrow.

"what do you want to be when you're older"
*"Happy."

the girl staring back at me,
standing tall trying to keep the tears back,
as she stood disgusted with her body.
she didn't have visible scars,
she had mental scars.
she covered her body as much as she could so that no one could see ,
she believed she was overweight,
she didn't tell anyone that she starved herself
or that she throw up to make it go away,
because she keeps her secrets locked away
for no body to see.

The feeling of not being able to do anything
That is the feeling that hurts me most
When I cannot be with you to help you
Or when I don’t know what to say
The feeling of guilt builds up inside me
And after minutes, hours, days of that guilt
It becomes too bearable to keep in
And I let it out,
But you don’t understand what’s wrong with me
And then you get the turn of the guilt.

The thought of maybe loosing you
Because I’m falling out of love
But being with you although maybe fun
I don’t know if it’s what I want.
Am I still in love with you?
Do you feel the same way?
Neither of us put the effort in anymore.
Is it just about over for us?
Please, help me out
Do you want to still be with me?
Cause I am unsure.

Help.
Help me from my thoughts.
Help me from my darkness.
Help me hide my true self.
Because if you met me
You will run,
You will avoid me,
Hide from me
You will be scared of me,
So help me
Help me put my mask back on,
So you won’t have to see me

Have you ever been so happy with someone?
But you hid it from your family
And one day they finally find out
After all the things with that person is over
But your family won’t drop it
And continuously bring it up
As if you did something wrong.
And stress overtakes you
And you just wanna run away…
To that person..
Because that person,
Was the only happiness in your life
But you know you can’t run to them
And you can’t run away
So you’re stuck home with your family judging you
And you cry every night.

I hate you!
Because....
Well
I love you.

Nobody knows the girl
The girl that hides behind a mask
The girls that is broken
But continues to smile
Until she gets home
Away from everyone
Where she is alone
When she is trapped in her deepest thoughts
And nobody can save her
That girl
That girl is me.

So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care.
I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my fate -
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

I’m so afraid of being that person,
That is known to not have friends,
I’m so afraid of losing yet another friend
That I just keep my mouth shut.
Yes, I would like to voice my opinion,
But there are always consequences with that.
Instead I sit at the back of the room
Behind a group of friends
I pretend like I fit in,
But I know, that I don’t.
My only friends seem to be the lyrics in songs
Songs that I listen to at 2am when everyone else is asleep,
But it is the time when my brain is most awake,
The bursts of creativity,
The bursts of truth flowing through my head,
And it hits me.
Yes I have people I talk to everyday but really
If they could choose between me, the girl at the back of the room
Or the girl they sit next to everyday
Its an obvious answer.
I guess I am afraid of being alone,
But when I think about,
I already am alone.

1,2,3,4
she drops her razor to the floor
5,6,7,8
she looks up and says "its not too late"
she throws her razor in the bin
and promises herself never to use a razor for harm again,
months past and shes stressed again
she picks up scissors and grazes her legs
she crys as grazes appear on her skin
no blood just scars.
shes sick of everything

When I’m alone,
My mind is tearing me apart,
I cry myself to sleep,
I crave the days to see you.
Because when I’m with you,
My mind is blank,
My mind doesn’t tear me apart,
I can be happy,
Because you bring me joy,
Happiness,
You bring me what I can’t have when I’m alone
You bring peacefulness into my life.
And I crave the day I next see you.

But the day when it all comes to an end,
When I won’t see you anymore,
The days will flood back to me
Where I can no longer think straight again,
And I will cry myself to sleep again,
Because I won’t have you,
I won’t be happy,
And I think to myself
Is this it?
Is this how I’m gonna be spending these years?
With a jumbled mind and broken heart?
I just want you.

Do you think of me,
As much as I think of you?
Because you're the first thing on my mind
When I wake
And the last thing on my mind before I sleep.
Let's just say I think of you all the time.

Do you know the feeling of being hated?
Thinking that they’re your best friend but as soon as you leave
They talk about you, not like little things they don’t like about you.
No, you feel like they ***** about how much they hate you,
You feel like they never really liked you,
They put a fake smile on,
And they say they ‘like’ you.
But even though you call them your best friends,
You’re not theirs.
And it really hurts to think that your “best friends”
Secretly hate you.

hey, do you still remember me?
you know your "best friend"
the one you told everything too,
yeah, I'm also the one you ignore.
so I guess I lost you,
bye? I guess..

they tell us to walk away,
from the things that hurt us,
but how do I get away from my thoughts?
how do I get away from the thing hurting me most?

We

   were

           all

              born

                      to

                          die.

I don’t think you realise how happy you make me
The cute name calling,
The little kisses on my nose
And our 3 hour conversations.
It’s weird to think I only met you a week ago
And you’ve made such a dramatic impact on my life,
Instead of going to bed crying
I go to sleep smiling,
Because of you.
The days when we chased each other around on the beach
Was one of the happiest days I’ve had in so long
And to know that you’ll be leaving soon
Breaks my heart.
But I hope our 3 hour conversations every night
Never end
Because I love them,
So thank you,
Thank you for making me happy.

she closes her eyes,
takes her last breath
and emerges her head underwater.
the pain is gone.
she is free.

Why would you want to be with him when he’s all over other girls?

well,
I think I’m scared to be alone again.
And I think I’m blinded by the thought that he actually “loves” me
Like when you get into a relationship that’s been going for this long
And you think that you actually want to be with them
And they want to be with you,
And you begin to see things slowly again
Like him with other girls
And you think
do I really want him
Or the affection he gives me.

We all have problems
I just wish you weren't the reason
for so many of them.