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  Sep 2017 AidaDonn
jamie
i don't know how you
feel about me anymore

i know we're friends
who tell one another secrets

but maybe there's one more
secret we haven't told

what if i were to say
i had feelings for you

we've been here before
things didn't quite work out

but i can't help but feel
there's something more

lingering thoughts
missing touch

maybe one day we could meet
or say these things in person

but for now
i'll sit here

with my poetry and music
while you're across the ocean

with your poetry and music
possibly thinking the same things
  Sep 2017 AidaDonn
storm siren
Sometimes,
Usually at the worst times,
It becomes painfully obvious,
How very different we are.

You're never going to love me
The way I love you.
And I'm never going to be the
Type of sane, the type of stable
That you want.

It isn't that we're not compatible.
It isn't that we don't love each other.

It is simply that
We are very, very different.

I realized this last night.

From our interactions.
From you barely showing affection.
Ftom you only kissing my lips five times since you got home.
From your reluctancy to provide me comfort.

From how the words "I love you" and "I need you" and "I want you around"
Kept getting caught in my throat
And instead came out
As mangled "I'm sorry"'s.

Because I am sorry.
I'm sorry I have loved you for so long.
I am sorry that I desire a love and affection from you
That it seems you cannot give.
That, at the very least, you cannot give to me.

I am sorry for trying to force my way through your walls.
I am sorry for trying to make you love me
The way I love you.
That was too much to ask.

I am sorry for relying on you.
I am sorry for trying to make you care for me
More than anyone really should.

I am sorry about all the problems I've given you.
All the pain I've caused.

I am sorry.

I can assure you, it will not happen again.
  Sep 2017 AidaDonn
Abbi
User cannot be found.
I suppose it's better that way.
User cannot be found.
So I wouldn't try to say "Hey"
User cannot be found.
A hole grows larger in my heart.
User cannot be found.
This is absolutely tearing me apart.
User cannot be found.
I'm sustained by the memories I keep.
User cannot be found.
And by the dreams that haunt me in my sleep.
User cannot be found.
I hope you're doing alright.
User cannot be found.
And that someone is appreciating you, holding you tight.
HTTP 404 Not Found Error
If you all enjoyed this one, I urge you guys to check out my other poetry, as this one to myself is good but I'm much more proud of some of my others. Thank you all so much for your support and kind words. Glad you all could relate as I just wrote how I felt.
  Sep 2017 AidaDonn
areadingwriter
unsaid
goodbyes
are the
hardest,

waiting
to hear them,
is the
longest.
  Sep 2017 AidaDonn
V
No one choses to suffer,
No one choses to "always be sad",
How could you say Depression is only a 'choice'?
"Oh, it's only just a fad."

You must think it's simple,
To go on and wake up,
Your life must be so easy,
Hell, it isn't so tough.

Tell me about all the money, that can be counted in bills,
How many people are truly there for you,
How you live atop a hill.

Was it you who was nominated, the best at your job?
The one who graduated and had enough to eat?
Or were you the one I last saw,
Who cried himself to sleep?

Perhaps you were the one who had enough to be on his own,
Maybe you were the one in a bar, drinking yourself away-alone.

Tell me how you live your life, always with a smile and your ego so high,
How you never once sat and had thought, "I might as well die."

Depression is not hypocritical, it is a sickness to many,
Whether or not you can or cannot count every penny.
It doesn't always scream, it doesn't always cry,
It can often be found in painful laughs, or a clever written lie.

Some may suffer gravely, some found in death,
Some may be pained ocasionally or with every strangled breath.
It is found in young or in old, man or woman of the world,
Some by the embraced or those who have been hurled.

The next time you speak of fortune,
To insult or to brag,
Make sure your own life isn't begging-
behind a fitted mask.
...
  Sep 2017 AidaDonn
Moonlight Bliss
-
i shut my eyes
close and
whispers to my
heart saying,
"please don't fall
in love with a
person who doesn't
see himself with
you in the future."
a note to self
  Sep 2017 AidaDonn
Moonlight Bliss
“You know what hurts the most?” she asked.

“Throwing away the memories we shared as if it’s nothing.” She tells him. “Tossing it around like it didn’t mean anything to you.”
excerpts from the book i'll never write
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