When I love you is when I can hate the most....

And when I can hate I can only love...

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Sweet translations...
                         of sentiment spoken seaS
Where interpretation runs wild-free...
and chances for better days can end.

Killing my bacteria ships,
Becoming the whole world!
No _ thanks to Darwin...?

Every day
Every day a new one
Making a New living stand.

While you expect me to do what you want,
I expect you to do what I want
And here we stand. Each wishing to do, for others to do
A bunch of doers.

(long version)

Sleeping in a soup of ignorance
Fine with my fantasies and dreams,
All lived…, they were all lived before.
Only the devil could have made one feel so
Insignificant.
Poor devil, still to be blamed
For our brains’ faults.
Issues taken for the fight for importance.

Ignorance bath in the soup of bliss,
Blissful dreams that can’t be shattered anymore.

Ah, the gift of being poor!
The loveliest heart knows how to offer
A chance out as nobody likes being poor.

Grin Grin as we must go on,
Continue with our sin
Of sleeping in a soup of ignorance,
This perfect ignorance  complimenting the knowledge
Of the very poor but rich,
Fine with my fantasies and dreams
... They were all lived…

Ignorance sleeping in a soup of dreams,
All blissful dreams that can’t be shattered anymore.

So, let’s! Let us continue,
Continue with our sin
Of sleeping in a soup of ignorance,
This perfect ignorance  complimenting the knowledge
Of the very rich but poor.

To be continued…

Too proud for me...
                              She thinks she knows.

She must be greater...
                              And  I must be here...

A family


Is a family...
If you can accept... A family like that!
A good family like that...

I Lied to you
And everything went just perfect from then on!

More life,
                  MORE
                               life More.

"What the gift! ?!"

It is morning breeze that awakes in you
All the beauty you were always capable of,
All the joy and the hope,
The invincible power of your soul
United with the spirit
Of the mighty and the strong,
The Wise and the all-knowing,
Never loved
But for what We're beholding.

A heart of stone you wanted,
A heart of stone you were,
Somebody looked for you
To tell you who they are.

The heart of a lion,
Fearless, empowered
With wisdom and wit,
Knowing more than the human need.

It's a good thing that I Have
To Eat and Sleep and Crap
For crap
This world so forgiving and giving us a good ol' ****!
It's a good thing to be able to eat and go to a ****!
Such a good thing, really,
I couldn't be more proud!

Existing just like that
With no purpose or meaning
Will make many feel good.

A little place of heaven
To you those whom I love,
Your need not causing sorrow
To hearts of friends,
Your family complete.

You were always all superior
In your acts of living,
That's why I preferred my ways better.

Of being a stupid depressed *****,
Just because he likes you that way...
Just because she likes you that way...
Oh, the honour!

How worthy of love are we?
What makes us worthy and why do things have to be this troubling?
Learning from the young and reckless
Rather than being myself all-knowing
And potent,
All wrong.

Adolescence worries...

Oh, what the honour,
What the Grace!

Amoeba, dear, ameoba!
It't time for you to glow on the surfaces of lakes
For frogs to get exposed
Later on by humans
Loving lakes so clear
That fish and frogs can breathe
And swans and ducks can glide
On shiny surfaces.

Feels like a winter escape
On glowing matters of green shame
Tuned well
Turned into a yellowish glow
Golden
Light of our future hopes
All taken high, so high above
Shining like the sun over us.

Amoebae! Dear Amoebae! You glow!
You shine and glow!
And I fell helplessly in love!

Pooping Gold machine
Treated as ****, **** produce,
Taking **** to create Gold,
Gold to create jewelry,
Jewelry to tell a story
Worth to live,
Gold worth to die for
And garbage to take out.

You Keep me blinder and blinder with your love,
With your light,
Making me feel that I worth something in this world,
For the world we work'nd fight until we realise the world doesn't give a **** about what we do,

Blinder and blinder about what you really do,
For me, for our future,
For your Kind...
Yes, my heart used to be true...
We fought together and alone for the world
But
The world doesn't give a **** about what we did or wanted to do.

The world doesn't give a **** about what you need, about what we did or didn't do...
To think that we all fought
(together and alone)
And for what?

And you didn't know
It's because someone loved you.

And never cared about anything and anyone else in the world.

Would you beat the filth out of me?
If I asked you, please...
Would you make me worthy?

Could you Save me from myself and this sickening truth that's too ugly?

An invention, this dragon fighting me,
An invention the devil...  

   God likes us chopped by these chosen.
I Will turn into their nightmare and haunt them
As... they disturbed me.
        They chopped me.

I'll forgive them, if I can.
If not, I' ll have to chop them.

If angels only muse they must be fallen,
Only a fighter can rise and rise up again...
Incessant wield of swords they can dance in the air
As your preferred
They're sweet and harmless,
Fallen Angels for you to eat
Alive...
Enjoy your cavity.

Dog Can't be taught new tricks.
Apparently nor can one teach news a bat.

"Now why would ye like me ta be only a *****,
Ye need one that much? Is it the only way ye can make yerself shine?
Stand up prouder than anyone else?
Why would ye like me subjected a ****?
Dejection lost in tis world,
Any town would do... Any time would do...
Ye couldn't make anything and anyone better,
Yer pride was cruel.

Why would ye like me ta be hateful and 'wise',
Standing too proud in the crowd,
Thinking myself what I,'m not...
Standing too low, becoming the filth of your beloved
And loathed... Loathful... Lost, gladly, for the best...

Learning that I must be everything,
No matter what, no matter how I feel...
Why would yer pride be so great and let me lead myself out of Hell? "
Breaking like the lightning crossing the skies on a story night.
"Why would ye want me ta be a *****?
Only a ****** *****?
Ye need one so bad...
Is this the only way ye can feel important?
Why would ye want me ta be a *****?
Is this the only way ye can be better?
Ye want all my life to go wrong.
Maybe this will make ye greater... "

Lost in confusing feelings
A heart not knowing is a heart that can't see clearly
All desires of the dangerous
Blinded by love, crisp hatred and faith.
Launched in agony,
Apathy encompassing creativity
Glow under the canopy of the great.

From shattered bits of mirrors
and mirroring hearts made of steel,
Gold white plain's
Recomposing the one that I am,
The essence away with the one wholeheartedly loved...
Duty remains duty,
Love will be love
And hatred will find a reason
If not for the sake of the game then for what?

Assumed life,
Assumed reasons to carry on with
Until the hearts melt away,
Feelings storming with no option to make you pay
For their hunger,
Active in their wait for your decline,
Sick, tired and paced with your light feat
You disappear in the haze of vapours
Caused by luxurious rain.

How can I put this in a better key?
It must be an honour to be the stupid **** that didn't make it!
Invadors taking and taking and taking...
How can I feel proud when they still can take and I'm still supposed to be okay,
"Let us be humble!" So humble and wise!
Accept the lie of this paradise drowning in tears
Everything they can touch,
Anything they can put a hand on...
Becomes a ruin.
Ruin of the heart and soul, ruin of laughter, ruin of Joy.

The unreachable? they'd ruin...
If only they could.

But who are they. And why do we suddenly want to be just as strong and merciless... and wrong.



Is it wrong to ****? What about letting yourself killed?
*well... Well... well a fountain of tears,
Well realised a truth that hurt once and can Hurt forever just as much
Until shattered into pieces like a piece of glass,
Stardust given to the winds to make it last
As the memory of the wrong that was
And the right that came out of it.

Dear Cornt,
You don't want me to be an artist.
It must be so diahonourable for the family.
A writer?

Sure, it will dishonour your lousy drinkers laughing at me.
Here I am, giving you a dishonourable name.
Hmm... There is a lot of love in there though,
For such a good soul like you
Knowing nothing of love,
Turning even the love of God into waste,
Hatred and misery...
Misery of the soul.

Sure! Who wouldn't just go there and be that way!?

But why Cornt? Why?

Dear Cornt,
You don't want me to be an artist.
It must be a diahonourable thing for the family!
Maybe I'm hurting you with this pride.
Don't worry, I'll have some better plans.
A writer is every kid in school,
Every child that ever wanted to be there
But you punished them with your freedom of being poor
And hungry
Humiliated
Despised...
You did good, Cornt.
I Have a nice firy place in Hell for you.
A bed of flames for you to burn vividly at night...
And a chilly wonderful leaden land to rot your carcass on by day.

But Cornt, dear! Why?

What's this, mother?
- I don't know, Let's discover!
What could be in this bag?
- Oh, look, a pair of gloves and mistletoe!
A Santa magic ball and two pine cones;
three angels with flutes, a bow and Christmas *****.
Oh, look! A heart and ginger bread...
And Apple Rolls! You remembered!
the child jumps around joyously dancing
- You remembered! You remembered!
- I sure did!
The night is slowly falling, her cover of dark ink
Dolling.

Blessed a night,
With no fallacy snowflakes cover the grounds,
The air touched
With white fairies, unique, caressing memoirs
Pristine hearts.

Blessed, the moon rises
Above pine trees and fir, at the pass of each cloud
Staring into the dark proud.

The hour of kisses under mistletoe arrives.
Cards, still, lingering on tables, in the air sweetness of cake,
Paces of a stranger showing a loner path,
Caramel whiff, Carols lift into the drizzling canopy,
Bells tolling, memories falling and calling
For help.

He knows nothing of this, the loner,
Empty his heart, leaving all hope behind,
Refilled with tears,
His mind produces magical dreams.

In praise of past illusions, love for life,
Love for laughter, love for the lost...
Rebirth of love divine,
In loved shells chosen,
The sky's bright darkness manifests.

Of clear conception,
Inception, blue fill...
To come on the morrow
When Santa's gifts we'll find
Under our trees,
When hearts of true will offer
More than empty smiles
And a cup of coffee...

A sign of blissful charm, enchanting
A world devoid of magic and love.

"Better to be cold than destroyed,
Crushed under the mighty need to feel all-mighty.
Better a cold star than a burden
To your own world."

Of pristine conception,
Inception, blue fill...
Love means sacrifice
And sacrifice's treated today
For stupid act of treason to the self,
To good old reason...
Charms enchanting cups of hot chocolate
To ease a child's pain.

In praise of past illusions, love for life,
Love for laughter, love for the lost...
Rebirth of love divine,
In loved shells chosen,
The sky's bright darkness manifests.

The hour of kisses under mistletoe comes back.
Cards, toys, ribbons and lights floored, flavour of cheesecake,
Shadows of the past and footprints left around,
Caramel whiff, Carols lifted to gently touch the angels,
Bells tolling, memories falling and calling
For help.

Blessed, the moon rises
Above pine trees and fir, at the pass of each cloud
Staring into the dark aloud.

Have faith,
They'll fight and ruin it,
Your soul.

Have mercy,
They will convince you that you're stupid.
You and your soul.

Be arrogant,
You'll find yourself nothing but a fool.
You selved soul!

Be faithful,
You'll be thrown out of the door,
You peaceful arogant fool!

Be hard like a stone.

Your Father did was not enough...
Now your Mother?

If only, one had the good common sense...
I used to have the good common sense...
But I lost it... Somehow... And that felt finally good.

As I walk through the tunnels you depicted
In a photograph a shade in plays speaking in tongues
Of hearts I wanted to believe in
Trust
But as I failed I remembered who I really am.
It's a place where we are one
And it can be beautiful
It can be troublesome
It can be craving for the better life.

For what you want a crave and wrath
With your for-giving soul you offer
That which you wouldn't take.


Aren't we all the same...?

We aren't the same...

Our Attempts of avoiding tragedies
Lead to harming the self
But the self can take it
It's the flesh that needs more strength.

Light was wandering on the hill,
A promise I seal...
We can see a road and the tree
Through a filter made of tears
And I don’t agree
with us touching the spring of our fears.

Feel the acid in your throat,
the chemistry of your burning thought;
You are close to my soul without being near at all!


Three cigarettes and a bowl,
She eats her salad, ... very slow
a movement.
Scents promised to the air
telltale.
The hills are green
but wear the skin
of Gold;
The copper light is wandering on
the site.
She thought of mountains
blue and strong,
of high bright skies
with a trace of foam,
she heard the whisper of that morning’s Sun
when she left home.

Last night was cold...
When home, she felt
his spirit move around:”
“... release of a sound...
- not sold! -
She felt inspired and at peace
with everything within her being...
“And all was love and love was all they need”

The door shut loud!

Observing the autumn trees in the middle of spring,...
I am touching the bud of eternity!

“-Come back! You’re mine!”
he screamed.

The darkness’s swallowing his being,
she brings her light to him...
He touches the Spring: “-What am I seeing?!”
She felt they’re doomed,
“The bud of eternity has bloomed!”

Carrying the vision of a young man in her heart
And his lightning beam.

“-Come here! You’re mine!”
she dared.

The darkness of those days was about to end,
His bright light inspiring her being...
She took it in!

“Hold on, hold it in!”


My brain catches the beams of light;
That power inside
shows through the veil
I hide behind my sight.
An echo I seal;
I have become so un-Real!”

“I watch the arrows made of coal
“I have a goal!”
Before I know I am dissecting my soul.

I step aside,
The door has opened wide!
“-Pictures and words, put on a wall
to be shot at then left alone”
Lone.

*
The table holds an ashtray on,
two pencils and a bowl;
She ate her salad, ... very slow
a thought …
Three cigarettes were smoking on,
in the middle of the ashtray
right next to the door.

A last call: ...
‘-Hold on!

“Hold It On!”

Light was wandering on...”

From: Theodora Oniceanu. “Time Files”. PersonAll.

Away from the ugly truth,
Away from pain of real and suffering of hard...

As I wait in this loud silence imposed
While the war makes soul of our hearts and brains
I learn
I weep
I tell
I can't explain to myself this crave for suffering.
It must be a habit
Imposed
As well
Made
As the hives of bees.
Could I accept the miracle?
Was I supposed to hurt him more?
I can't explain myself this crave for suffering.
It must be a bad habit.

****** chicken soup,
Yum Yum,
Puddles of chicken soup
All over the space,
There's a tornado of soup
These days
Plenty of chicken soup
In the fridge too.
Happy the family,
Forevermore
For gallons of chicken soup
Every day made in the bathtub...
Hot warming the heart to the bones
******,
Bon on sweet
Puddles of yum yum,
On a plate the bowl
Of YummyYum,
****** chicken soup.

One can't live without being a character!

I don't know what one has to do to be perfect. And perfect for what?
That is the question! Some wish ill some wish good and one has to know what is what and who is who...
Some do and some others do and we do do
Birdie Jobs

A bird, chewing gum
While fluttering wings of life
Spread over times bills

Creating a god inside me was the perfect start for this battle of the sad spurred sands.

"- Here I am, on Blasphemy Lane where everything's dead."
[They killed it]

Fill the void inside me
With Love and Meaning,
Brilliant Sun travelling
Through space and time,
enlightening the blackest Sea;
This darkness in which we dive seems so empty!
                     ~ Rotation ~
"We're spinning around on our own selves to face a dead god."
[They closed it in]

He learned we're in need for some warmth then started looking for it in every galaxy.

"- This hell is cold..."

"- Do you remember the time you swallowed the serpents of Medusa? What did they say to you? Could you hear their screams while burning down your throat? Did you spread their ashes throughout the sands of your hourglass?..."
[You took in the stars]

"...- There is your boat!"

"- I don't know! I'm too cold."

Do fill the void inside me
With Your Love and Meaning,
Brilliant Sun travelling
Through our space and time,...
enlightening this Black Sea;
The darkness in which we dive looks ... so empty!
                    ~ Rotation ~

"I need to burn like a torch and guide you through this cold night."

They gave us a warm thought and left this cold.
"-Now I can remember:
A kiss in the name of God!"

From: The Hour of the Blue Man by Theodora Oniceanu
© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

Of concrete and Steel,
Walking-houses Machines,
Blocks of metal, Blocks of tales,
Broken pieces of Reflective tears.

Sharing moments,
Sharing sweets,
Sharing laughter,
Sharing tears.

Share your light
And share your Shadows,

Give some resting time to hollows
That are sleepy right away
Giving you recourse to clay,
New illusion for your beliefs
In some cool, pathetic breeze
of the ocean that you freeze
In your mind to rest remarks
Made on peaks, high, of a rock.

Give some sleepy clay remark
On a cliff's recourse to rock
New illusions cool and hollow
Resting times on breeze to follow

Ocean's cool esthetic sleeps,
Frozen image of a breeze.

Share your shadows and your lights,
Share some moments, sweet and fun,
Share those tears in forms of life
On these moons,
Too clear, make shine!

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

Here, I applaud you, mighty heart of blue
Stone hardened with the coldness
Of the cold black gown
The Moon is wearing
For each ocean poured...
Under a playful blue moon
The stars reflect their old wisdom
Their dust speaking through the actions we take
Until the sun will break the record
And explode
Or die, little by little,
Becoming another blue stone
On the  black canopy of inked domes.

For the stone to be deposed in the hands
Of the worthiest girl, the wolf girl
You chased away.