I like handwritten letters
And old paper back books
I like walks downtown past old buildings
With peeling paint and cracked side walks
I like old sneakers with holes in them
And soles that scrape the ground when you walk
I like things with stories to tell

I like to meet people and talk about minimal things
Things that won't matter to anyone else
The things that cause their eyes to sparkle
And make a smile tug at their lips
I like to listen to their opinions
The things they feel such passion for

Yet I do not like to stick around
Never do I get close enough to touch
No one makes it past the mask of sincerity
Masterfully placed on my face
Never do I let them breach the surface

I like to stay light and free
Of hurt, pain, and complications
And humans carry these things with them everywhere they go
So once I've learned all I can about a person I move on to the next

And continue my journey of life

I like old fashioned romances
Throwing rocks at windows
And cool walks in the night holding hands
I like good morning wishes and butterfly kisses
I dream of embraces so close
You can feel the trickle of their breath on your neck
Their heartbeat involuntarily syncing with yours

I dream of these things
These things I have longed to feel

I still get excited at the sight of a swing left vacant at a playground
Or mini marshmallows in hot chocolate
On bitter winter nights.

muted, I broke eye contact for the sixth time that sentence
the time is 2am, and she sits beside me telling me I'm wonderful

crippled in shyness I say nothing
I want to wrap her up in my soul for the warmth she gives me
but I say nothing

and to her, I'm white with icy numbness
as if I feel nothing

The pain is worse than ever and I'm starting to doubt that trying is even worth it anymore. So long ago it was all joy but the joy faded to where it is now.

Yet you still bring me happiness.. How..
Loving you is the only escape I have ever had and though it hurts I relish the chance to feel.
Will I be okay..
Will it all be worth it some day..

How can I not love you?
For when your head is high up in the clouds
Free, unchained, holds no bounds
Drifting on endless blue

Towards the crimson afternoon
In a palette of pastel hues and gray
'Cross the canvass of our last summer day
Spilled sunset and water blooms

How can I not love you?
When the autumn breeze wraps itself around
The coffee cup warmed with traces of your hand
Melts to a morning dew

Blotching the sheets of white
Unfinished letters scattered like the sands
In a desert of aimless thoughts, profound
With oasis in sight

How can I not love you?
When your eyes burn like an ocean of stars
That swallow the winter lights asunder
Drowning all in view

All but the crowning trees
That spread their elegant twists in glory
Of imitating your hair, now tell me
How can I not love you Denise?

Writing something when you're full
Makes you mix up lion with bull
When you stay off the kitchen
Your stomach feels some itching
Later maybe have some tea
Having too much makes you ***
Take some time to digest
This way you can say the best

Drowning in your eyes
Wild and blue like the ocean
Tossing about in their storm
Is the most poetic way
That I've ever died.

i. (kc) was the catalyst
the first to convince me that I could be loved
and the only one to make me believe I was capable of loving back
...for about two weeks.

ii. then (jt) arrived
popular
suave
and dorkily crushing on the one girl who couldn't return his affections.
but it wasn't until the first time I heard my name and 'beautiful' in the same sentence
that i realized there might be faultlines in my heart
shaking the love out of my body like lunch money from a scrawny kid's pockets.

iii. the first time i broke someone
the process was anything but (sl)ow
and it was then that i realized
i was getting too comfortable sleeping with regret, curled up like a black cat beside me.

iv. fortunately for me
(je) had 20/20 vision.
he saw through the mask, forced me to face myself until i couldn't help but punch my own reflection
and though his words almost convinced me that i could be saved
his empty stare reminded me that i wasn't worth the trouble.

v. looking back, the initials should've warned me
that he would be the (ss) to our sinking ship,
that we were fated to drown.
but he was coldstronghard as metal
and it took me a two years, one month, and one day
to learn that even silver can be tarnished.

vi. the name was fitting, i guess.
(jr) was finer than any greek hero
and were he a god, I would've named the planets after him too.
he was as reckless as the roman empire
scratching himself on the thorns of my soul just to find something worth saving.
was it because of compassion or guilt or shame
that I put Ariadne's string in his hands
so he could navigate his way out
and run for his life.
maybe it was because
I was so used to the echoes in my head
IendeditIendeditIendedit
that through the tears, I still managed to smile at the words
he ended it.

Dude on the Internet  spoils the ending of a book to my friend.
That friend spoils it for me.
"I needed it out of my system,  I am sorry Jaishree. "
I spoil for the girl sits next to me in the class.
She laughs and says
"I was expecting him to die from the start."
I spoil it for my other classmate who doesn't seem to care.
"It's just a book! It will pass in a few days."
How dare you, I mentally say while slaughtering his soul
Another classmate lent me her book for the weekend.
"It's written beautifully!  The main character dies in the end."
Well thanks for that girl, I really needed to know what happens before starting the book.

Anastasia was my friend
her face was always pale
she always wore a ribbon
& her daddy went to yale

she was the talk of all the playground
the new girl always is
excited, unready to settle
like her coke-a-cola's fizz

until she sat beside me
& tapped me very slow
"i want to run away," she said
"but i don't know where to go"

i too was quite unpleased
"come and follow me"
so there we packed our knapsacks
and took off for Belize