I know you're hurting,
and it seems everything is breaking
apart from every angle.

You feel your thoughts,
and emotions are weighing
your mind and heart.

You feel the days
are dragging you along with it.
You want to be alone,
you push away everyone around you.

I know your contemplating
between giving up,
you feel there is no light.

You feel it's tough,
overwhelming and draining.
You feel the darkness in you
is growing, consuming you cell by cell.
and you just don't fight anymore.

You just want it to stop.
But, I just want you to hang in
there a little longer.

I want you to hold on to the people
who love you even though you feel
there aren't any.

You are loved.
You matter.
Even when you feel
no one can save you,
even when you feel
no one can reach you.

But there is hope as long as there is life.
I want you to breathe.
Just have faith.
Because there is
something greater within you
than the pain or obstacle
you experience and encounter.

Dear Sensitive Souls,
They call us emotional, fragile and weak as though these are the only words to describe us. Did they not see beyond the fact that we feel too much? that we are also empathetic and compassionate? Did they overlook all the beautiful qualities that came along with being sensitive.

So often we took our sensitivity as a curse for making us drown in an ocean of emotions. For being hurt by noticing the intricacies in people's body language, attitude and hesitations. For leaving us sore, drained at the end of the day. For making our problems look so insignificant in the eyes of others that we wouldn't even feel like opening up because if we did, word would just spill and eyes would just flood. For making us feel no one would understand the intensity of our emotions. For just letting us feel we were weak because every word, every vibe, every energy would just penetrate right through our heart leaving us to feel broken.

For making us feel so overwhelmed that it would be a struggle to get through the day. For making us face their statements and questions "Why are you so emotional?" "You're like a volcano ready to just explode" "Just toughen up" "You're such a mess". Sensitivity initially left me feeling so weak and broken for being affected so easily at the littlest of
things.

But over the years I met beautiful and kind souls who admired sensitivity as one of the rare and crucial part of humanity. Spending time with them changed my perspective about sensitivity and started to embrace it as a part of me.

The word "Sensitive" that once sounded like an insult became a compliment. The sensitivity I used to once spend my day hating became something so beautiful to me. It was when I started to embrace my sensitivity did I allow my emotions to be acknowledged, felt and be expressed.

A masterpiece of intricate mosaic,
a beauty underlied with chaos.
She lets them see,
what she wants them to see.

I don't understand how the victim is the one to be blamed, as the predator goes off easily. The sensitive ones blamed for how they feel as their reaction are blown out of proportion while the predator gaslights and walk off with no responsibility or consequence for their action. Why is that salt is added to wound, trigger pulled on a trigger while the perpetuators, manipulators walk off free. I don't understand why the victims suffer, while the predators are glorified. I don't understand, and maybe by breathing naivety never will.

- To the many things, I fail to understand about this world

I drank poison
of hate and resentment tonight.

I wonder whether my eyes
will be tumid tomorrow
of all the tears that were shed
and glow with malevolence
or wouldn't event want to lift an eyelid.

I wonder whether my
tongue will spew the vile remaining
or it wouldn't even utter a word.

I wonder whether my muscles will
fulminate with the energy of hate
or it would be too heavy to get off
bed tomorrow.

I wonder if my mind will be raging
tomorrow or would've drowned and
been dissolved by the venom coursing through me.

I wonder as I slip into sleep.

How do I explain to you the feeling of
inadequacy when someone loves or compliments?

How do I explain to you the fear of being a disappointment
or not having climbed up to someone's level of expectation?

How do I explain when without warning I am plagued
with self doubt, layered with chaotic-heavy-blues
and harboring insecurities?

How do I explain when I don't want
these thoughts to matter?
when I just want them to be deprived
of care that they die within,
and never surface to my skin.

But somehow like the crashing waves
they envelope me in the depths and like
the black hole **** me from within.

At times,
I find myself
tearing my fibers apart.
Picking out one neuron
from another,
and wrecking myself
from within.
To find,
the next morning,
I have been
built once more.
This time,
just differently.