I don't even even care anymore
I just want to escape
This repressive regime
We call the world

self destructive,
I will destroy myself until nothing but a charred carcass is left.
When I stand back up again I burn myself to the ground in a calamitous blaze.
Taking actions that have strings attached, that are just waiting to go up in flames.
But I will keep on going until my fragile marred world built around me implodes.
The shattered shards of my world explode
They cut into my flesh rip it to shreds,
my blood flowing is the only reminder that I am not dead
That I am in fact human  
But I don't stop the flow,
it cascades down a formidable waterfall
my destruction is complete.
First of the mind then of the physical form,
For years pain held me deluded
Finally my inevitable cataclysmic end has concluded.

I know ending us was mutual
so am I being cruel
when I think of you with her
and it still hurts.
Yet I know I flirt
with other guys
and I've moved on with my life.
But late at night
I think of your eyes,
how they held my universe,
how our sweet memories hurt
and how I just realized
your always on my mind
and I miss having you by my side.

we're all just lost souls
looking for more
looking for
more ways to feel the pain
more way to make it go away

hello
can anyone see me
please save me
from insanity
from humanity
humanity
     manity
             ity
they’ve lost the humans
where did all
the humans
go

addiction
breathe in, breathe out
open the bottle pour a glass
breathe in, scream and shout
how long did I last
drinking oceans hoping to drown
smoking fires hoping to choke
I am spiraling down
I won’t admit that I can’t cope

I spend my nights
Making the kind
of memories
that turn into the stories
trees will breathe
For centuries

A bird flies into a window it can’t see
Until it hits the glass it doesn’t realize its not free
That it can’t be who it wants to be
That it can’t sing its melody

Now its broken, its shattered
Now nothing mattered
How can lives so simply just shatter
How can it be, the spider web fracture

Once and twice three times now
The rule of three follows me around
If I scream will it make a sound
Does anyone notice I'm going down

Like a bird needs to fly
Like a widow needs to cry
Is how I need to say good bye,
to cut off all my ties

A bird flies into a window it can’t see
Until it hits the glass it doesn’t realise its not free
That it can’t be who it wants to be
That it can’t sing its melody

Like a bird I am confined
Nothing not even my thoughts are mine
In here there is no such thing as time
I am slowly losing my mind

I sat
       staring,
           at the wall.
                   Pleading,
                             for how
                                   life was
                                           before.

He got her hopes up, up so high
believing their love belonged to the sky
but now the sky’s falling,
falling all around them

The soft drumming of rain
The soft glow of the lights
Why can I feel pain
Why can’t I get through the nights

The soft whisper of the wind
The lights are now out
Why can’t I ever win
Why can no one hear me shout

The soft hum of distant cars
The darkness comes alive
How do I go so far
That I can longer see any light

Don’t worry about our lives
Were doing just fine
So don’t worry when we cry
Or get high
Because we all want to touch the sky
Sometimes.

It's hurts so much
To feel everything
But nothing
All at once

I know there are things I haven’t known
I know there are pleasures unexplored
Feelings in excess unexpressed
I know there are desires hidden I this chest

And then there’s you
You know the things of this life
You make me precariously careless
U set me on fire, I’m burning with interest

But its not just the knowing of knowing
There’s something about you
Your words make me a mess yet caress  
The way you look at me makes my morals less

I know we’re falling in deeper
I know that there’s no turning back
I’m still convalescent from the present
Our past and future I’ll come to resent

We know that it’s now inevitable
Since that first step we’ve been running
Since that first attraction, first reaction
We’ve been each other’s distraction
distraction

I know what we are, our intentions
I know you don’t want a relationship
I know we are only ephemeral not perpetual
I know that what we have is only ******

But…

I know that I’m plummeting
Into feeling and affection for you
Not matter how much I lie and deny
I know for you I would lay down my life.

And so my tears they fell
As I sat and watched my world
Fall apart

Why is it we are predisposed
To find the smallest signs
To confirm our worst beliefs

In the glow of the fire
Everyone knows your a fighter
How knows Maybe one day
We'll all wake up without pain

we believe
if we are born again
created from our most beautiful parts
or maybe you want to be born
in a mosaic of your most broken pieces
our lives will change
that this feeling undefined
will leave

but it never does
our life continues with indiscernible flow
even if noting is the same
and it seems
we've lost ourselves in the change

trying everything
every anodyne
to rid ourselves of this feeling'
that leaves its shadow in our eyes
we can not bring ourselves to confront it

I don't know what your shadow is
but I do know
I'm too lost in the change
I've forgotten what mine is

but hes blocked out all the sun

Its an estranged place of beauty
Magnanimous cruelty marks its face
the land of such awe screams mutiny
pleading for a safer place

desert oaks tenaciously grasp the ground
lightning struck gums an effigy to protest
the cataclysmic weather reigning down
the incongruities perpetually contest

spurious clouds pass over head
mocking the parched plants, they ****
despite the drought amongst the dead
orange melts a sunset onto every hill

the beguiling desert offers many wonders
surely it will draw many in
but it only takes one that ponders
to see it represents our brokenness within

Wine coloured lipstick
and leather boots
divided attention
Cause my minds on you

One two three
How many can I see
In the water, on the roads in the trees
Why is it none of them breathe
Why is it only some of them bleed
Everywhere I am they follow me
Everywhere my dead body
Bringing my broken fantasy
Into the cold light of reality
Reminding me that this won’t last for perpetuity
That I don’t have to suffer for eternity

As you wept
I held you tender and mild
And we exchanged
The role of mother and child

You called me hot
But now my name is gorgeous
There’s something in that shift
That makes this so dangerous

Yes I am a woman
And I refuse to be afraid of my hips
Or the way my body dips
Below my *******
Because I might be trapped again

I refuse to believe
I am only worth one thing
I refuse to believe
that I am only for your satisfaction
Because I am so much more
than this physic
And it is your loss
that you were unable to look past
And see the lion beneath

I want to write,
but I write what I feel

and I can't feel anymore.

You came to me
With your head held high
Looking down on me
Intoxicated with pride

But now your On your knees
Begging me,
Please

From this place I come and go
Warring time for absence  
But without fault my flesh begins to crumble
So to this place I return
Begging expression to save me

We are only the accumulation
Of the people who surround us
Loosely bound by moral intuition

We are not scared of death
We are scared of finality
The possibility that we can come to an end
The line of our lives is not
Perpetually drawn
That the world can exist
When we do not
Because at the end of the day
We are all narcissists

Nostalgia is a dangerous emotion
It unknowingly saturates our past in colours so vibrant
So we crave time that never existed

“wouldn’t your parents be proud of their little girl”
You said to me
“I would be ashamed if you were my daughter”
You said to me
“It’s a joke how easy you are, how could anyone take you seriously”
You took advantage of me

I knew it was coming
But still the voices whispered
“Stop over reacting”
“Your letting it run away with you”
But that voice was silenced

By your silence
The silence that held stone throats
And glassy eyes
The silence that held the suffocating
Tangibility of the truth
Plausible undeniably

The silence that was broken with your whisper
The breath that recklessly gained momentum
Cruel gale force
Beating down on me in its full fury
The small sediments that had fallen prey to the winds
Embed their small bodies into my flesh ripping me apart

Your whisper had created too much collateral damage  

So the voices returned
Rising from the tomb
Offering salvation, my steadfast refuge
They spoke and their gospel caressed my wounded heart

“This is not real”

It’s not fair
That you get to live in a world
Where you aren’t broken
By the memories of us
And where you weren’t used
Only For your body
or your touch

Some people are designed to collide
In union intricate patterns blossom
Within their behaviour

Whilst the reaction of mixing others
Births a toxicity
that leads to an inevitable decay of life