Struggling to fight each day,

Cold biting from inside,

Would the World even blink,

Had he just simply died

Sat alone

just wondering,

Is it me

why life's a funny thing,

On days my heart

may want to sing,

yet times when

death, I'd want to bring.

Olly was an octopus,

He had 8 legs and arms,

He gave good hugs,

And shoulder shrugs,

But juggling was his charm.

It's difficult,

It's hard, I find,

The fear, that lives,

Inside my mind,

A fear of here,

Of now, of all,

Disabled by,

Fear's fateful call.

Eyes reddened by the liquor,

Soul blackened, lacking hope,

Amazing how in spite of this,

The World thinks he can cope.

I sit and look,

Indifferently engaging,

People pass by,

Mindless cadavers,

Seeking more,

Having less,

Racing to mortality.

The gloom that clouds our Monday,

Cast shadows 'cross our hearts,

We toil at tasks that we despise,

Whilst our loved ones are apart.

Off out to the garden,

Let's hope it doesn't rain,

Whilst I know that I am waterproof,

Getting wet is such a pain.

As the weekend fast approaches,

I reach my hand up high,

Raise my favourite wine glass,

Then drink my wine goodbye

Fingers,

Vine twisted,

Barbed wire,

As I unfold,

Open,

A fist,

They bleed,

Feeding leaches.

Today it will be different,

I don't care what people say,

I'll do my best, and stuff the rest,

Goodbye to yesterday

The happiest I've ever been,

That's a day I won't forget,

I saw your smile and all the while,

On the first day that we met.

My friend she is in hospital,

She's feeling not too great,

They say her heart is beating,

At a most peculiar rate,



So they've given her some medicine,

And told that she must rest,

They will have to keep her wired up,

I suppose that they know best.



I wonder what the cause is,

To make her so unwell,

It's a good job I'm no doctor,

As I don't think I could tell.



Perhaps she is too stressed out,

Perhaps work is too hard,

Perhaps it is the whiskey,

And the late night poker card.



Perhaps it is the pizza,

Served hot with nice cold beer,

That is the reason she is there,

And sadly not  back here.



I hope that you feel better soon,

And are back to your mad best,

Chatting like a monkey on speed,

But for now, it's time to rest.

The bridge appears before me,

I stand not knowing where

It goes, or should I cross it,

I ask myself, then dare

I cannot face tomorrow,

Nor can I live today,

Something has to change soon,

I can't go on this way.

Time gentleman please he cried,

He rang last orders bell,

I should have been home hours ago,

One more then, what then hell

Please do not feed the demons

As you step inside my mind,

For their hunger is insatiable,

They'll eat any(one)thing they find.

Cold hands,

Feet,

Heart,

Complete

April's fool we recognise,

The darkness, cold, behind the eyes,

So it should come as no surprise,

The fool is you, you realise

I watch as water drains from the vase,

Drawn up from vase to flower,

I'd be drunk if I drank like that,

And well within the hour.

The weekend clock is ticking down,

Soon all will be done,

We wish we'd tried much harder,

From when the weekend had begun.

Crisp and crunchy Thursday morning,

The grass it seems to gleam,

The birdie bath is frozen deep,

The fence, well I see steam.

A second lasts forever,

As a single memory,

The choice is yours to make, now,

What's it going to be.

A moment of pure weakness,

I succumb, temptation's trap,

I wished that I could care less,

But now I'm in a flap

Welcome disappointment,

It seems I got it wrong,

Perhaps my time is over,

And this, my final song

I have no

Responsibilities,

Looking into my own eyes,

I see,

Hollows,

Unkept,

Unloved,

Disillusioned,

Soulless and cold,

Staring back,

I wonder what he thinks,

Looking at me,

Probably sees failure,

Well, at times I even fail,

Failure.

Another day,

All's (un)well.

I think I'm a great dancer,

And love to hit the floor,

But reality is different,

I only dance when drinks you pour.

Twisted, tired

Body sore,

Approaching end,

Can take no more.

My head is often hurting,

For I often over-think,

I wish that I could switch it off,

But that would cause a stink

Questioning my sanity,

Seeking help and friends,

Can I cure the pain and more,

Or is this my journey's end

A tired smile,

A knowing stare,

The times he wished,

He wasn't there.

Given opportunities,

I tend to miss my chance,

We'll never know what could have been,

Had I asked you to dance.

My mind lies tattered on the floor,

Feeling lost, catching a chill,

A broken soul, a blackened heart,

For I'm mentally ill.

I look the same,

As you,

I look the same,

As yesterday,

I look the same,

As you envisioned,

I look the same,

As ever,

I look the same,

You stopped looking,

I look the same,

Wrong, look again.

Unspoken,

How he wished,

He'd dare just say,

Chances missed,

And gone

A silence that is deafening,

I question what I've done,

Which is strange as I am sat alone,

A company of one

Broken skin,

Exposed vein,

One last time,

To ease the pain

If everything were easy,

It may not feel so great,

Yet when everything is difficult,

Life's an unforgiving state.

I look to make things better.

Don't quit 'til my last breath,

But on true reflection,

I'd be better choosing death.

Hello Spring,

It's been a while,

The blossom's here,

As is my smile

Where do all the birdies go,

When it becomes night,

I'd like to think they're in their nests,

With their duvets, wrapped up tight.

When I sit and softly question,

The place where I belong,

I labour to convince myself,

That I've done nothing wrong



It's not in the steps I've taken,

But deep inside my mind,

I'm a lost soul that is struggling,

Searching for hope, I cannot find.

Somewhere from a near past time,

I recall an easy smile,

It's harder though as days go by,

For it's been such a long while.