there are roses growing
from my hands
My doubt the seeds
Begging them to grow

There are roses climbing
up my arms
digging in my skin
but i am numb
to their thorns and beauty

There are roses growing
in my lungs
bloodied petals
filling my throat
and falling from my lips

Tears are sliding
down my cheeks
I've had enough
I am to weak

Death proposed to me last night

We met
In a field of branwen
Not a soul in sight
Just them
Silhouetted in shadows and sorrows
Within the murky black night

Death proposed to me last night

they kissed my hand
And asked if I
Would like to be
their lovely bride

Death proposed to me last night

I intertwined
their hand in mine
As I rapturously whispered
Yes
I will be your wife

Death proposed to me last night

they pulled me close
And wrapped their cloak
Of sadness and sorrows
Around us both

And while the cloak
Fought the chill from my bones
We walked
Hand and hand
Soul and soul

Over the threshold
Into the unknown

What makes us human?
Is it the never ending barrage of emotions?
The communities we have
The families we grow
The lives we live

We have enslaved
And have fought wars
We have built cities
And have torn people down to their cores

We have tamed beasts
And have left them homeless
And while we feast
We leave many hopeless

Perhaps it's time we take a step back
And realize that maybe
What makes us human
Is the compassion we lack

This cursed heart
So naive
So h o p e f u l  
Its disgusting
Its p a i n f u l
its hurTING ME
S T O P I T
P l e a s e
I
  C
     a
        n
           t  
             B
                r
                  e
                     a
                        t
                          h

There you stand
In all your gloriously impossible perfection
Absolutely s t u n n i n g
Skin glowing brighter than the moon
In a clear
Night sky

I wish someone saw me the way I see you
I know love
Is something we will never share
And that's ok
but
I will always look at you
Like you are the moon
Because
You were the first
to make me realize
I CAN love
And that is a beautiful thing

Petals are falling
Softly
On my eyelids
Filling my soul
With beauty
And my mind
With peace

Rain is falling
Lightly
On my hair
Curling it at the ends
Bringing it back
To its natural form
And cleansing me
Of the pain
From today

Tears are Falling
Slowly
Down my cheek
No more words to be said
I've reached my peak

Let’s stay
For just a second more
In this perfect moment
While they are out there
Worrying and weeping
Crying and sighing
Let's stay here

Where the earth is calm
And the waves brush the shore
Filling the air
With a melody more beautiful
than leaves
crunching
on an autumn day

Where there are no worries
Where the wind tickles our cheeks
And we can swim in the clouds
And run with rays of sun

Let’s stay in this perfect moment
feel the sand between our toes
Light our babylon candle
And join the stars
When they come out to dance

I wish my happiness
Was not a lie
I wish my family
Would realize how much I try
To be who they want
             To live how they want
                       To achieve what they want
But I am not him
And I am not them
I am not her
And I am not you

I am no one
N o t h i n g

So until I find who I am
Ill float through life
Looking
Hoping
Wishing
For
    A Sign
        A whisper
                 A G  l  i m  m  e  r

Of who I can b e

Being with you
Is like having a staring contest
With the sun
No matter what
I always lose

Wake up
School
Homework
Repeat

Wake up
School
Homework
R e p e a t

An endless cycle
Of mind numbing work
Chipping away at my brain
The stress of failing
The only thing moving the pencil on my page

Type type type
This screen is giving me a migraine
My eyes are drooping
My fingers are aching

But I cant fall asleep
I must stay awake
I have 3 essays due
Plus a math test to retake

Swimming in a sea of candy colored dreams
Drowning in my sleep
Colors swirl around me
The light in me is fading

I try to breathe
But to no avail
And with horror I realize
This is the end of my tale

The very thing that brought me joy
Is slowly chipping me away
Filling my lungs
Leaving me to decay

I flail and kick
Trying to swim
Towards the surface
As my vision starts to dim

My fingers graze the surface
I can see the sun
I'm almost there
I've almost won

Suddenly im pulled down
Deep into the depths
Dark spots clouding my vision
With candy colored dreams as my only company

Do not tell me to get off my phone
And claim “you're on it too much, kids these days can't put it down no matter what we say “
Then spend hours on end doing the same

Do not tell me to use my words
And claim “ I'm not a mind reader! If you tell me I'll listen to what you have to say”
Then turn and ignore me when I finally obey

You say I'm introverted and keep to myself
You get mad when I give short answers and don't run about
Yet when I try to talk or engage in activities
You degrade me and berate me with all kinds of negativity

I'm done trying to please you
I'm done with your claims
I'm done with your unending and ridiculous games

It's time to move on
And finally be free
Because without your berating
I can finally be me

There is a girl I see walking by
Hints of purple beneath her eyes
All she wears are long sleeved shirts
Hiding a multitude of hurt

A boy walks after
Crusin by
Hints of purple line his wrist
Hiding behind fits of wit

A couple then comes side by side
Her face caked in makeup
Hiding the hints of purple from last night
“it's fine,” she thought “he apologized”

His face hides a smirk
At the hints of purple on his knuckles
Most blind to the truth that lurks behind his eyes
In an unsolvable puzzle

Watch out for the hints of purple

The title of my story
Has yet to be written
Staring at the screen
Trying to make the words come to me

All to no avail
I just sit
And continue to fail
Wondering hopelessly
If the words have run out

Type and erase
Type and erase
I've built up a rhythm
No inspiration can replace

Type and erase
Type and erase
I am hopelessly stuck
In this null space

I am nothing important
No one special
Just the secondary character
That people meet and leave on their journey

Im the friend you talk to when your true ones are gone
Im the Icecream you take because the better options have run out
Im not good, im not bad
Im just ok

Im not special not grand
Quite honestly im bland
I stand in the back and rarely raise my hand

The teachers all know me
Yet forget my name
It's like a word you've forgotten
That tickles the back of your brain

As you try to remember where you've seen my face
“It's ok,” I say masking my hurt
“people forget me all the time anyway “
Even though I've been in this class since the 9th grade

Im nothing
No one
Another forgotten face
And I've accepted that ill never find my place

I like to get lost in imaginary places
With imaginary thoughts
And imaginary faces

You tell me over and over again
Get off your phone
Get out of your head
Join us and become real again

But being real hurts too much
And no matter what im not enough
To satisfy your expectations
And my determination wavers with every breath

Every breath is agony
I want to be everything you want me to be
I try so hard to satisfy you
But in the end, I just barely scrape by

So I'll stay in my world where no one can harm me
In various places where I can be anything
Where people are proud of me and I can accomplish anything

Because when im real im just a disappointment
So let the internet be my glass menagerie

We all hold secrets deep in our hearts
We all hold secrets that prevent us from a brand new start

Your mailman might have a bright smile
But his daughter is ill
And will never be able to walk down the aisle

Or maybe your teacher has a serious face
But deep inside they wish to be free
And be the person they have always wanted to be

We all have secrets that hold us back
We all have secrets that make us think back

Your friend might be quiet and calm
But deep inside there is an unheard song
That came from a memory deep in their heart
A beautiful memory but one that pulls them apart

Or maybe your sister is being silly and loud
And all she wants is you to come down from your cloud
Because she is lonely and misses the old days
Where you would do nothing but talk and play

We all hold secrets deep in our hearts
And some may never find a new start