joren's

joren's Feb 2019

**** kicks
and my walls fall
I just give up
I hate it all
I lie down
I cant stand tall
every little thing
I'm hating
I wish you
would take me
this is my message to the end
And an apology to my friends

// not finished
I dont like this poem just tryna stay active

#the #end #concious #sleep #goodbye #anxiety #hatred #silence

joren's Feb 2019

// thought limits

so my common sense
expands past
common expansions
this trance is
a prison my sentence
i'm risking
Gaining time here i
wont die here
i try to hear the guards
i lie here
constructing and tinkering
but i fear
my concious and thinking
are not clear

This is a mess. I can't really explain it, theres just a line you cross between normal thoughts and ones that involve actual thinking.

#thinking #thoughts #prison #mind #stress #anxiety

joren's Feb 2019

important water message

I only like ice in my water
Because you cant water it down
Things stay the same and
the ice will just drown
homogeneous mixture
A tasteless substance
perfect diluteness
Be honest to me and
Help me get through this
is it clear to you now
Why I still pursue this

well its important to me. This poem is about thinking clearly or something like that. I read this a lot to focus before I write other stuff.

#mixture #water #mind #thinking #anxiety #clearly #ice

joren's Feb 2019

Hometown (oof) (ops?)

Theres nothing to do here
We've seen every movie
Let's buy some craft beer

And we'll gaze at the stars
Roll one and make out
I'll take you to mars

I was so bored and lonely
We'll make our own fun
Calling you my only

And thats just the start
I'll vacate my hometown
But never your heart

I wrote this a long time ago. Its not really a style I enjoy so I'll probably never go back and work on it.

#leaving #home #now #maybe #not #idk #girl #heart #ugh

joren's Feb 2019

// convincing my concious

wish this was only
my existence
i could give up
on persistence

convincing my concious
that its morally fine
ignore the repercussions
of my suicide

wish it all washed away
when we take the ferry
but the world still flows
and memories are carried

A thought process apart of justifying suicide to your concious. What if this is just my personal simulation and everybody else has theirs. I'm only dying in mine. // = WIP

#suicide #self #doubt #forget #me #justified #justify #inner #struggle #persist

joren's Jan 2019

// Good bye :(

Should of started your good bye
Right when you arrived
Cause i wasn't ready
Time wasn't steady
You we're here a minute
And gone the next
Was that 20 minutes
or a couple secs
Or wait a minute
I'm just a wreck
When you're around
time passes wack
My eyes are fountains
I want you back

It takes a long time to say bye to someone when you dont want to

#bye #goodbye #sad #missing #miss #time #wasted #gone #lost #crying

joren's Jan 2019

// life in peril

I'm gonna crash
I'm switching lanes
Like a spinning fan
I osalate
And I'm in danger
I'm testing fate
My life in peril
There's no debate
My chance of survival
Obliterate
My chance is slim
And I am on
My last whim
I'm hanging by
A single limb
I'm bleeding out
I need a stim
Like a med pack
I need a chopper
For an evac
I need to run
And not look back

life in peril is about recognizing and identifying a negative state of mind and making a concious decision to escape it asap

#danger #life #in #peril #bad #place #thinking #too #much