Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
Is a thing they always say,
But every time I leave you,
My heart beats slower everyday,

The fondness hadn’t sprouted,
Like a lily pad in spring,
It was  more like a melancholic mold,
With power to destroy everything.

I love you and You love me too,
And every day speak,
And when times are good they’re good,
But when times are bad they’re bleak.

The thing about our distance,
You say this is our “fate”,
But when something bad happens,
I’ll be there...
7 hours too late.

I’m smiling wide,
But you don’t seem to know,
That I love you more and more,
Everyday my love grows.

The way you light up,
I can’t help but stare,
I close my eyes and hold you tight,
But it seems I’m hugging air

I’ve climbed out of my body,
To remember this beautiful night,
The way we danced and sang,
Under the fall moonlight.

And here I sit, still smiling,
But my grin is one of despair,
Because you are smiling at her,
And I’ll just always be there.

Today I drove past your house,
For a moment I thought I would scream,
For a moment I thought I knocked on your door,
Just like in my dreams.

The road felt like my own veins, winding throughout my body to keep me moving, to keep me alive.
I pull over,
Turn off the engine,
Hands tense around the steering wheel.
Eyes closed, I am taken back to the midnight conversations and coffee orders and that photo of us.
Oh, that photo of us.

Suddenly, I am home.

Sitting in my driveway, the time has passed me like a summer’s love affair: quick and disappointing. My knuckles clench until they glow white.

Nothing can change how I feel,
No highway hypnosis or holistic home remedy can heal this hurt.

Today I drove past your house and

Suddenly, I’m home.

I’m sitting in class,
And I don’t know the solution ,
The teacher sees me struggling,
She’s aware of my confusion.

I stay after class,
She knows I’m really trying,
So when I don’t raise my hand,
I suppose she thinks I’m lying.

I really don’t know the answer,
I’m really just confused,
But it seems she wants to shame me,
So the class can be amused.

Four problems in a row,
But I guess she isn’t done,
After every “I don’t know”
She says, “you’ll do the next one”

I can hear the class laughing,
And a crimson shade comes to my face,
And I wonder why I feel so ashamed,
In what was my “safe space”

I want to be great, I want to paint, draw, sing, play guitar, juggle and dance.

I want to run a half long marathon, achieve greatness when I have the chance.

But with only 24 hours a day, I fear it can’t be done.

I want to travel, see the world, be successful and have fun.

But here I sit at home, when I should go on a run, it seems I am a jack of all trades,

But a master of none.

I feel like I’m losing a friend,
It started off slow,
Faded like your favorite t-shirt,
After one too many wash cycles.

Like the stretch of an overused rubber band,
Losing its resilience,
It’s snap,
It’s ability to bounce back.

Sometimes I feel like I’m the t shirt,
Going through the same cycle,
Over and over,
And expecting different results.

Like the shirt’s need to be clean,
Is my need for validation,
To not hurt your feelings,
To make me feel better about myself.

But I no longer care,
How you feel,
What you do,
Or who you do it with.

I made it through one last wash cycle,
One more strip of my colors,
My identity,
But somehow I came out brighter than ever.

I wasn’t afraid to die,

I live my life,
In my suburban town,
In my clean community,
And life is fine.

I go to school,
And have my friends,
And hang out on the weekends,
And we go to the mall.

But one day I go to school,
And I’m standing at my locker,
And I hear what sounds like fire crackers,
And it isn’t the Fourth of July.

I hear a scream down the hall,
And I see my friends,
And I see my teachers,
And I see my life flash before my eyes

I was never afraid to die

I look around and run,
And go as fast as my legs can carry me,
And I want my parents to know,
I was never afraid to die,

Until it happened to me.