The light dims
But it can’t dim me
You see, I will make it
I tell my own story
And I don’t fake it
And in this tale
There’s no giving up here
No yelling upon deaf ears
Nope, nope, no giving up
Fairy tales may exist
But happily ever afters
Are full of it
But I am writing my own story
And in here there’s no giving up
If I can’t get happily ever after
I’m not gonna give up
Before I get any ever after.

I’m a drifting planet
You’re a drifting sun
As I draw closer and closer
I must be careful, or I’ll be burned.

A supernova-however bright-
Is dangerous after the light
Mistaken, a moth to fire
I got ****** in your black hole
Torn apart like flesh in rapid gunfire.

The most bitter things
Can be sweet

Sickly sweet lies
And bittersweet goodbyes

Sweet, sweet love
Turned bitter by time

The most bitter things
Can be sweet
And so can I.

I’ve waited
I’ve waited so long
Since the day
I asked you to stay
And I looked for you
Do you know how long?
I looked for you
All these years
But you never
Looked for me once
Did you?

I’ve waited in this Wonderland
So long that the lush flowers and plants
Rotted, so I was left here alone
With yellow grass and sharp thorns
I’ve been waiting for my knight in shining armor
For so long, but he never came
Where are you now?
You said you’d come back for me
But you never did.

I’m trying so hard
But nothing is working
I’m doing my best
So why am I hurting
I thought I was better
Things starting to look up
But things aren’t going
The way that I want it
I know that it never
Was really a promise
But I thought I was lucky
Why don’t I feel like it
Sometimes I am drowning
In all of my stress
And sometimes I just wish
That it would all end
You keep saying I’m okay
“Don’t you give up.”
But I tried that already
So please just shut up
And I sound so annoying
And whiny and loud
I’m sorry that I can’t
Just go with the crowd
I’m not trying to stand out
Just trying to forget
About all the times I messed up
But I haven’t done it yet
And I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
That you gotta deal
With all of my spewing
But I gotta heal
And sometimes the screaming
And the “letting it all out”
Works for me well
But I’m sorry I don’t make sense
But that’s not what this is about
Too bad this is so long
Just me rambling on
And I think that I’ll go now
Don’t got more to say
So goodbye for tonight
Goodbye for today.

Everyone assumes
The sidekicks are always fine
‘Cause they’re too busy helping
When the hero cries
And the hero doesn’t have to worry
About getting hurt and dying
‘Cause you never **** off a hero
But the sidekick’s another story.
It hurts sometimes
For your story to be ignored
‘Cause we all got a story
But we are all told
That some are more important
Some mean more
But they’re wrong
Sidekicks have stories too
But no one cares about them
Until one of them is you.

If you want my real
You gotta deal with my tears
And if you want my honesty
You gotta let me be me.

I don’t hide
It’s not my thing
And when I tried
You could see
Right
Through
Me.

Because if you want my real
You gotta let me feel
The way I feel
Because I won’t pretend here.

Sometimes I’m sad
Sometimes I’m stressed
Sometimes I wish
I stayed in bed.
Sometimes I break
Sometimes I’m
Not okay
Sometimes I’m weak
It’s a part of
My humanity.

Because I’m human
And I am flawed
I am broke
I am imperfect
And I don’t care.

I want to be real
I don’t want to disappear
I want something that
Won’t fade away.

If I had a little sister
I’d be the best I could be
I’d try and be a good example.
And I’d hold her
When she cries
And I’d help her
When she’s stressed
And frustrated by life.
And when a boy comes and breaks her heart
I’d be the first to tell her
He wasn’t worth it at all.
And when her friends start to leave
And drift away piece by piece
I’d look her in the eye and tell her she still has me.

If I had a little sister
She’d know I cared
Even when I teased her
She’d know I’d always be there

I’m a storm
I’m an ocean
Get too close
You might get ****** in
Try and sail
A ship on these seas
Tossed and turned
You’ll get bruised
You might bleed
You can’t say
I didn’t warn you
I told you over and over
“This heart doesn’t fit two”

When she tells you
That the universe is fair.
And that all people
Do really care.
If she believes
That things are fine
And that the world
Is nice and honest
And that people never lie.

Do you tell her
That she’s wrong?
How can you lie straight to her face
And say she’s right where she belongs?
Or do you tell her
That she’s right
And things will change and get better
As long as we fight?
What do you tell her?

Who’s gonna tell her?

Expectation hurts
Happily ever after
May or may not come.

Is it so strange
To create
Without thinking?
Is it so strange
To express
Without expressing
Yourself?
Is it SO STRANGE
To simply create
For the sake of it?

Am I the only one who does?

We only ever
Miss the sunshine
When it snows or rains.

We only ever
Miss a lover
When they get up and leave.

We only ever
Miss our family
When they’re long gone.

We only ever
Know they’re there
When they disappear by dawn.

So excited to grow up
Maybe freedom would heal us
But when our childhood got taken away
We held on
Like it was a teddy bear
The complicated years
Of 13 and forward
Got us wishing to go back
And longing to grow up.

Amid the chaos
Of humanity
We try to fix
All of the wrong things
Convinced that
Fixing small problems
Will hand us
A small semblance
Of control.

The power went out
The WiFi went down
The water won’t work
The lights won’t turn on!
But I can still see
Electricity or not
Thank goodness the power caved
In the middle of the day!

Like a bluebird from a cage
Hope will deliver us
From bad days.

People all around me
Nobody
Looking me in the eye
When I try
To talk I stutter
No one I know
Is here
I don’t know
Anyone anyway
Always alone
Even when I’m in
A room full of people
I could be surrounded
But I’d still be stifled
By loneliness

It’s not always a competition
We’re all trying to survive
In the humidity of the jungle
We’re all just trying to thrive.

It’s not a competition
We’re just trying to get through,
Help each other out
When that’s all that we can do.

Who cares if you win or lose?
Pretty sure it’s only you
Because it’s NOT A COMPETITION
Don’t make it about what trophy is whose.

Even at night
The dark isn’t black
It’s speckled by stars
And the moon and our laughs.

Even at death
The pain doesn’t last forever
It subsides as a scar
Forever partially healed.

Even when you’re gone
I’ll wait for you
I’ll wait until you’re here
Leave you?
Never.

I guess I’m blind sometimes
Thought I had 20-20 vision
But I guess I was mistaken.
So much I can’t see
But at least
I don’t have tunnel vision.

I’d rather see everything
A tiny bit blurry
Than only see the things
Right in front of me.

Optimism
Or willful ignorance?

Who is wiser?
The one who sees the strengths
Or scans for weaknesses?

Give
Give
Give away
Give until
You cannot pay
For all you’ve lost
Is just too much
You’ve given all
You got
Don’t give your crux.

What a weakness it is
To be
Undefeated.

Those who have never failed
Never consider it an option.

Words are so precious
So we mustn’t waste them on hate.

Build a tower
To watch it fall
Run and cower
When it calls.

Write a story
To burn the book
Take the glory
Take what was took.

Breath the air
To spit it out
Create with care
To be filled with doubt.

Crystal clear
Yet clear as mud
That’s how things go
In this neighborhood.

Do I understand?
No you tell me
The back of my hand
Is confusing to me.

Happily ever after
Is only found in books
Maybe that’s why I read
To get away from what was took.

I am not a liquid
Where what was stolen
Is a hole
Don’t want to live insipid
Wish I was brighter
But I am coal.

The shine within the sun
The clouds drift over
Stuck beneath shadow
Suddenly cold.

The dark side of the moon
The black hole vacuuming the vacuum
Of space drifting around
Suddenly gone.

The forbidden path
So lost within the thorns
Help me ‘cause it hurts
Roses die where my feet touch.

Forever lost.
We are not
Rescuable.
I believe we are
Doomed eternal.
I can’t let myself admit we are
Salvageable.
It is apparent we are
Sentenced to death.
We cannot be
Hopeful for life.
Forever and always
Convicted and cursed.
We are not
Emboldened and sanguine.

We’re all in a snowstorm
We can’t see each other
Lost in the white.
Adrift and afraid,
Unsure what to do.
We live in a blizzard,
Paralyzed by fright sometimes.
We can’t see those with us
When the storm rages strong.
As the wind rises,
Our fear rises too.
But call my name,
And I’ll call back.
Hear me
Hear them
Be afraid
No longer.

As the sky darkens,
I darken with it.

As the sky swells,
I swell with it.

As the sun rises,
I rise with it.

Stuck in a desert
The land’s dry and grey
Stuck in a desert
Far far away
Don’t miss food or water
Though I probably should
Of all things that I need,
I miss you more than food.

I used to see the rainbow
Now all I can see is rain.
The world seemed beautiful
Because I never saw the pain.
And all I’ve ever asked for
Is for it all to go away
Now all I ever ask for
Is for somebody to please stay.

The cups and plates aren’t ugly
Just because they’re cracked and broke.
And I don’t think it’s funny
When people lose their hope.
And all I’ve ever asked for
Is for my spark to be undimmed.
Now all I ever ask for
Is for it to light the path for them.

I hate to be the person
Who just sits there all alone.
But what am I supposed to do when
I’m all on my lone.
I hate to have to sit here when
Somebody needs my help.
But when I’m hurt or injured
Who is gonna hear my yelp?

It’s a beautiful day
The sun is out
It’s a beautiful day
To be out and about
But we shouldn’t do that
Fearing we will get sick
It’s only 30° F anyway
To my bones the wind’ll lick.

Only so much to save
Before it all goes away
But even then it’s so hard
To save all those we love.
So why do we think
That we can do all those
Superhuman things
When we all feel so helpless
Who’s gonna save us?

What meets the eye
Could be anything in disguise
So why obsess over it
When what’s important is within?

What’s the worst thing
Worse than losing hope?
Not having it
For so long
That you don’t know how
To hope
Anymore.

We deal with our crap
And others’ problems too
Until we break and we crack
And we go KABOOM.

You’re stuck in a maze
There’s no way to get out
You got two paths to take
One’s easy, one’s not.
I bet you’re asking
“Is this supposed to be a hard question?”
But you didn’t hear yet
That the easy way
Will let you out in an endless desert
“Well I’ll take the hard way then.”
You might be thinking right now
But if you never knew
Which led somewhere safe,
Would you choose easy or hard?

Look up
It’s a beautiful life
A half-full cup
Only empty of strife.
Can’t you see?
Nothing to complain about here.
Sit down and BREATH
You don’t need to fear.

‘Cause it’s not as bad
As it seems to you
You could be glad
But all you are is blue
What happened to you?
The skies are bright
And it’s sunny outside
I don’t understand
Why you need to hide
Calm down
Why do you need to frown?

Walls up
You face away from all the pain
Just to see more of
It, so you run away again
Can’t you see?
No sign of rain about here.
Take a seat.
I promise you don’t need to fear.

‘Cause it’s not as bad
As it seems to you
You could be glad
But all you are is blue
What happened to you?
The skies are bright
And it’s sunny outside
I don’t understand
Why you need to hide
Calm down
Why do you need to frown?

It’s not that bad.
And it’s not that gray.
The pain that you feel
Will all go away.
It’s not that bad.
It’s not that bad.
It’s not that bad.

It seems that bad.

Chaos unraveled
Time ensnared.

For all of the travel
We weren’t prepared.

We are going insane
We are panicked to blindness.

This virus is a pain
So we must treat each other with kindness.

People may be dying right now
People may be crying right now
People may be hurting right now
But at least it’s sunny out today!

We pity the disabled
Thinking we are so much better
All the while we labor
Trying not to see the horror
Of our own trying to grow
Trying to avoid the slaughter
Getting knocked down by all those
People pretending they are stronger.

We grow up blind thinking
The world is full of happy strangers
Where problems don’t exist
And we are saved from all the danger.
What we don’t know is that
Sometimes people **** for glory.
We didn’t know we’d combat
Our own villains in our story.

It’s hard to see green grass
When it’s snowing.

It’s hard to see the positive
When you are positive
The world is going to heck.

It’s really dang hard
To see the sun
On a foggy day.

But you dang well know
I will try anyway.

Loneliness
Is a great grey funnel cloud
Trying to whisk us away
But not to the Wizard of Oz
It takes us away
To a Land of Pain.

I stumble into a crowd
And it parts like Moses’ Red Sea
I’m not any celebrity
They must be afraid
Of someone like me.

What do I wonder
What do I see
What do I stutter
What do I breath.

I though I knew so
But I did not
Ordinariness
Every day is the same.

A muddled mind
Makes no sense
And that is why
It is the best
At seeing things
Illogical
And making them
Psychological.

A scrambled brain
Has the best ideas
Even when
It’s full of fuzz.
The brilliant
Have narrow scopes
They only predict
What they hope.
No one will know
What I am thinking
Neither do I
I’m just the one who’s inking.

Hope is when
The sun rises high
When you don’t want it to.