Numbness is
Being a statue
On a battlefield.

Face the world
With your head up high.
That’s who I used to be.
That girl was fun
That girl was kind
That girl used to be me.

I faced the world
With my head held high
Until I saw things
I didn’t want to see.
That little girl
Is long gone now
But I miss her
Because she used to be free.

I’ve been told
“No one expects you to be perfect.”
A lot.
So many times, in fact,
That it has lost it’s meaning.

Because, the thing is:
No one expects me to be perfect
But can you look me in the eye
And tell me
No one expects me
To at least be “okay”?

Meet Expectations.
She is bubbly and happy
Sensitive and sappy
And she lives all in her own world.

Problems are like flies to her:
Pesky annoyances
She’d rather ignore.

Expectations is fun to hang around sometimes
Until her ideals start to
Weigh you down sometimes.

Riding the wave
Is all fun and games
Until the wave knocks you down
And under the water you drown.

Help.
I cannot seem to be able to voice my opinion to adults without coming off as rude.
For example:
Person 1: you should do (insert something here) first because you’re reading all day, and by the time you have to do (something mentioned before here), your brain is exhausted!
Me: But I don’t read all day. I only read at lunch today.
Person 1: are you gonna be a smart-aleck with me now?? I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
Me: Sorry. Never mind.

But seriously.
How do I point out a fact that may prove the person wrong without sounding rude?
Especially when they’re older than me.
I’m only thirteen, and I suppose it seems disrespectful for a 13 year old to do so, but I don’t think I sound rude.
Is there anything I can do about that?

Music is when
Your bones vibrate
With the happiness
Of listening.
Or something less dramatic,
But still similar.
It’s when
You get goosebumps,
Or you can’t help yourself
But hum along.
Or at the very least,
It’s listen-able.

So “The Box”
By Roddy Ricch
Can just
Go die.
No offense
To all of his fans
And Roddy too.
Just my opinion.

The sun
Peeks up
To say
Hello.

The salty water
Laps at
Your feet
Beckoning you
To submerge yourself
In it.

You jump in
The cold water
Your siren
Unforgiving.

The waves
Push you down
The light of dawn
Floating farther away.

You drift up to meet it
Brisk air
Gushing into
Your lungs.

Freedom
Never felt
So good.

As jumpy as a cat
Who runs away
At the sight
Of a single cloud
For the fear of rain.

Drawing a blank
Writing a word
Got writer’s block to thank
For the lines that look blurred.

I am a sentient being
My eyes are blurry from not seeing
That getting used’s a regular thing
For a bunch of girls like me.

You clap your hand against my mouth
Think you can stop me from shouting out.
You keep putting people in a cage
You won’t let us get up and rage
But I’m enraged, and I’m not sage
But I’m not clueless and you are ruthless.

You’ve got no heart to give
Cold as stone; how do you live
With all the happiness you have deprived.
I’m not clueless but you are
Willing ignorance leaves us scars
But you won’t see them ‘cause you don’t want to
You love your lies and despise the truth.

Rain is interesting.
It seems to evoke
More feelings than-
I don’t know, something that kinda pokes
You, and prods too,
Because the uncomforted
Think the less, feel the more,
Which leads to ideas galore.

Rain really is very interesting
Rain can make a person sing.
It can make the same person cry
Or scream
Or shout
Or whimper
Or sigh.

Rain is an interesting creature to witness-
Holds feelings of anger, sadness, and success.

If I could remember
Anything,
I would remember flying
Using golden wings,
My memories
Aren’t worth the while,
I spend my days
Imagining imaginary smiles.

You are not lost
Until you believe all is lost.

The light
In our eyes
Is what’s keeping us alive.
Forget air, I don’t care,
Oxygen’s just keeping us from dying.
Do you know the difference?
Between alive and undead?
One’s worth living and one is not
The difference between the human and the bot.
The light I speak of now
Is not in your house, anyhow,
It’s found beneath the skin,
Beneath the ribs
Beneath your flesh.
The light inside is found worldwide
Forms of hope to help us cope
With the stress of imperfection
Where kindness is our own protection.

The world revolves around the sun.
Not me, or you, or anyone.
You’ve got me wrapped around your thumb.
You seem queenly to the human eye
But it beats me how you seem to defy
All rules, all laws, no matter how they try
To rope you down, you get away every time.
You run and run, up and down the *****,
Why do you run? What do you hope?
Are you running away from a confidant?
Is there something better that you want?
The world revolves around the sun,
But our worlds are anchored by loved ones.

You wear faces like a mask
You hide feelings in a cask
Your countenance is set like stone
Sharp eyes, glass shards, to become renown.

Isn’t exercise supposed to make you feel better about yourself?
I must be doing something wrong, then.

Up to 60% of the human body is water.
I must have much more than that,
Because it keeps on leaking
Out of my eyes.

Logic
Seems so illogical
When you try
And justify
Your emotion.

I am sick
Of everything
Being the same.
I am sick
Of people lying
And lying
And lying to me.
I am sick of having to tell
People what they want to hear.

I am sick
So sick
Don’t come near me
I’m contagious.

Isn’t it exhausting
To always be afraid?
No wonder I am always tired.

Everything small
Seems big
When you
Are shrunk down
Until everything
Is gargantuan and hulking.

The small details of things
Are often ignored
They remind me of me
Not exactly abhorred.

They may not be hated
But nobody notices them
They are often equated
To a single cent.

No one pays attention to pennies
Or any types of coins
Because no one cares to see
They’d rather avoid.

Hope is our only salvation.
Money and power will get us nowhere.
We think we know so much
Until the wise tells us we don’t.
We are always afraid,
Whether we want to admit it or not.
I am not exempt from this population.
I am always afraid.
Afraid of failure.
Afraid of success.
Afraid that if I do well
You’ll expect it all the time.
I am afraid of not knowing-
You might be too.
So we pretend that we know what we don’t,
So we can have lies to lean on.

Problems cannot be cured
If the blind is those who assure.

If ignorance prevails
Humanity will undoubtedly fail.

But who will save us now
When nobody on Earth knows how?

How will we save humanity
When nobody can see?

Who will teach the youth how to live
When you don’t even know how to thrive?

Artists
Are like sponges.
They absorb
Life
Feelings
experiences
Just to
Spit it out
As art.

We’re all a little cracked.
Or a lot cracked.
Some are even shattered
Because the world
Isn’t perfect
And neither
Are we.
We cry
Then we laugh.
We are flawed creatures.
But don’t
Let your cracks
Break you.
Flaws are beautiful.
A perfect human
Is not truly human.
A rose that never wilts
Is not truly a rose.
Embrace your cracks, people.

Do you know
What happens
When two stars
Collide?
They either
Turn into
A gargantuan
Mother star
Or a black hole
******* the life and light
Out of all that dares
To exist.

Do you know
What happens
When two people collide?
They either
Turn into a wonderful
Sun that gives life
To all that dares
To exist
Or it flushes
Away the light
Of both people
And reduces both
To heartbreak.

I’m a mess.
I’m not graceful
I lack finesse.
I look at everyone around me
And they seem to have it so easy.

I’ve been told that I make things harder
Than they actually need to be,
But it seems the harder I work the farther
My needs and dreams seem to flee.

I look around, convinced I’m insane
Until I met you
Just as insane as my messed up brain
And when you speak
Butterflies flit out
And I can tell you’re just like me
Not graceful
Lacking finesse
Clumsy in talk and everything else.

What a relief
To know I am not alone.
Sometimes
I just feel so alone.
But I’m not alone
Just lonely perhaps,
But then I met you
Who reminded me
I wasn’t an alien
I wasn’t alone
And I needn’t not be lonely
Much longer.

I know
You think I
Look weird.
I know
I’m staring.
But talking
Never works.
No one cares
To understand
Me.
So I have
Resorted
To telepathy.
Maybe if
I look at you
Enough,
You’ll see
The pain
In my eyes.

Would you rather
Innocence
Or truth?

For some people
It’s like a game:
Dance around Death
And hope you don’t get caught.
It’s like a battle game:
A game of Cat and Mouse
One day the game will end
And Death will prevail.

The magic
Is in the mystery
And the mystery
Is in the people.

The magic
Is in all of us.
Look
And you will find it.

You are magical
Whether you believe it or not.

Vengeance
Is venom.
It is in
Both the giver’s
And the receiver’s
Cups.
Revenge
Will only poison you.
Revenge
Is not sweet.
It is as bitter
As the pain
You must avenge for.

Rise
I ask
I plead
You to rise.
Please
Don’t stay
There on the ground.
You
Deserve happiness
But you won’t
Accept it.
Rise
Love
Give.

f l o a t

I’m a glass girl
And you can see right through
I’m transparent to you
Please don’t take advantage of it.

You can see my soul
Do you think it’s as beautiful
As yours is?
I wish I had your soul.

I was clear
But life made me stained.
But if you ask anyone who has ever seen stained glass,
They’d tell you it was the most
Magnificent thing
That they’d ever seen.

It’s okay to be stained
Color makes us
Alive.
Plexiglas
Is still and lifeless
Stained glass
Tells a story.

Be a storyteller.
Be stained.
Be beautiful.

If I was the wind
I’d blow away
To a place so magical
I’d always want to stay.

If I was a fire
I’d warm you to your bones
I’d be light
You’d never be lost.

If I was the waves
I’d give
And take
And give
I’d find treasures
And lose them
So you could find them too.

If I was the Earth
I would nurture all that grew
Along my edges
Because the small things
Are important too.

I used to think
That the happiness
In life
Got ****** out
With age.
I always
Thought ignorance
Was bliss
And wisdom
Was a curse.
I kept screaming
“I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!”
Because knowledge
Is power
And with power
Comes pain.
But with power
Comes joy
And love.
With wisdom
Comes love
To be my lantern
In the night
Of pain.

Sadness
Is often seen
In blue colors.
Tears
Are blue
They are made of water
And salt
They taste like the sea.
The sea
Comes in waves
And so does
Pain.

I’m lost in the woods
No one can save me now
I’m running from the good
I’ve been shown because I know
I don’t deserve what I’ve been given.

My road is decorated with thorns
Roses die at my feet
I’m a demon-I’ve got horns
I welcome you to be in the front seat
Of the tragedy called “My Life”.

But then again, it isn’t too bad
As much as it seems to be
There’s so much life left to be had
And I can grow from this like a tree.

Yes, I might be lost in the woods
But I know you’re looking for me
I can find good if I know where to look
And I’m not as lost as I think.

If you are lost
You will be found.

“Don’t ever forget where you came from,”
She said to me.
She said,
“Don’t ever forget the twigs of your nest.”
At that point,
I didn’t understand.
Couldn’t I fly further
If I didn’t carry the weight of memories?
Then I realized
That I may not fly as far,
But if I never forgot her-if I never forgot those pieces of me-
I would never be lost.

I wake up
Everyday
And I want to give up.
But I don’t
Because everyday
I tell myself I can’t.
I am not allowed
To give up.
Not yet.
I tell myself
“Don’t give up yet.”
I’ll keep telling myself that
Until the word “yet”
Transforms to “ever”.

If you were just a soul
How would you manifest?
For all those familiar with Greek mythology
You may know what Chaos is.
Chaos is what-in Greek mythology-
The universe was
Before it was created.
I picture this blackness
But blackness full of purple
And blue
And red dust.
All of this is just swirling in this black hole
Of nonexistence.
Order?
None of it.
Safety?
Lol you’re funny.
Well,
Anyways,
I think my naked soul
Would manifest as Chaos.
I am Chaos.
Order?
Never heard of it.
Safety?
I’m more like “WARNING: MAY EXPLODE AT ANY TIME!!!”
Chaos
That’s what I am.
What are you?

I’d like to inform you guys
That my real name is Malia.
In Hawaiian it means
“Calm and gentle waters”
I am unsure whether it can be true.
I mean, sometimes
I just want peace.
I don’t want to get
All caught up in a storm
Because I know my ship will sink
And I’ll drown.
But sometimes I want to drown.
I want to throw myself in a fire.
Okay.
Maybe not that intense.
Maybe it IS that intense.
But sometimes I just want to watch the flames dance,
And revel in the chaos of it all.

Sometimes calm and gentle waters
Are not for me.

Up in flames
Dancing around my burning flesh
You live
To set fire
Right?
You set me
On fire
Now I burn
I burn
Like dry paper
On the surface
Of a star.

Our problems
Seem so big
Until someone
With bigger problems
Tells us
About theirs.

I’m made out of colors
Colored outside of the lines
But I’m still turning out;
No one knows how this masterpiece
Is going to turn out yet.

One day
I’ll be blown away
And you can look for me there
I’m not quite sure where.

I’m not sure what you are
You seem like a Star
A star that’s dying
And becoming a black hole.
I know that if I get ****** in
If I get ****** into him
I’ll get ripped to pieces
Yeah, I won’t come out again.

I think you must have come
From a planet revolving around another sun,
Because when you speak
I seem to think
That two atoms have collided.
When we crashed it was like the Big Bang
Two particles floating, floating away,
But then you slammed into me
And you blew me away.

One day
I’ll be blown away
And you can look for me there
I’m not quite sure where.

Am in the cloak of darkness.
I hate it when I
Find light in darkness
I feel recharged when I
Am enveloped by darkness.
I cannot help but die a little when I
Find a bit of kindness.
I celebrate when I
suffer greatly.
I think it is horrible to
Lead a wonderful life.
I think I should be sentenced to
An eternity of suffering.
I think no one should experience
Pure happiness and joy.