Lying awake at night, you hear a sudden 'thump'.

The twitching lights seemed like a glitch in your eyes.
The creak of wood has caught you by surprise.

What does this all mean?

Desire to escape infuses you.
But you stand still. You wait.
The ruins of your past have been stacked together,
Created a concrete wall of protection around your broken soul.

You are armed now.

The demons can no longer dominate your shattered force.
As of now, you are whole.

Let the demons come!
They won't dare to suppress you!
Your newly earned title "Warrior" -
Must be worn with Pride and Affection.



-FreeMind

Tumbling down the endless empty hole,
Effortlessly being buried whole.

Distance separating us further,
No words heard, all murmur.

I'm begging you to stay,
But you don't dare to come closer.

Afraid that I will push you away,
No way to stay together longer.

Too far, now out of reach,
I'm pleading you to hold me longer.

Its too late.

You left.



-FreeMind

The scent of innocence clung on to her,
Spreading over to those passing by,
Cleansing them of their sins.

The purity of her soul overwhelmed those in the wrong,
They knew they stand no chance against her goodness.
Her ability to start over, to let go of the past,
Was mesmerizing to those that have fallen.

She became an inspiration,
A motivation,
To all who were around.

Praise to her, the creation of the Sun.
They joy, the light,
That she shone upon them, made them all feel worthy.

The love for her grew stronger,
Spread quicker,
Until she was not enough to sustain the desires of others.
And so they took her,
Not willing to share.
They ruined her.

They put an end to the Lotus.


-FreeMind

Through the broken glass,
I can see the skeleton staring at me.
"Did you give up all ready?
You were never ready for this..."
She teases me, laughs in my face.
But its okay,
My vision is blurry now,
Can hardly see through the tears that filled my swollen eyes.

"What have you done?"
The scream comes from nearby,
Yet feels like it is miles away.
Am I drowning?
No.
I'm sitting in my bedroom floor.
And still everything seems distant.
My lungs are full.
I can not breath.

The broken glass looked tempting.
I did what thought was right.
But theres no time to reassure myself.
More screams, more worries.
The skeleton is still across from me.
I'm giving in.
You won.


-FreeMind

Why are they afraid of you my love?
Can't they see you're perfect?

Taking me away on rides,
Trips, and on vacation.
You protect me from all of this,
Free me of these duties.
Make me feel like I am whole,
Surround me with all your beauties.

They all complain that you're no good,
But you're my only blessing.

I don't need another lover,
Darkness is the one I need,
He'll be gentle, not judgmental,
He's the only one I need.

I've always been his number one,
His favorite little girl,
He loved me since the start-
Day one!
I am his truly.  

They can say what they want,
I am not afraid.
I love you,
And I promise to find a way,
and to stay with you,
Regardless of my duties.

Oh Lover,
I can't wait, until we are together.
I have a plan! I'll speed it up!
I'll be there soon Oh Lover!

I found a tiny little tool,
That will bring us closer.
All I have to do it cut and see the a substance
Red like love.

I'm ready,
I'll soon be gone.
No one stops me,
They've let me go.
And now I'm free,
And now I'm yours.

Oh Lover,
Take me in your arms,
And never let me go.
I am Yours,
And You are Mine.
Oh Lover, Oh Lover!


-FreeMind

The Ghosts of fallen Lovers,
Wandering the World.
Aimlessly waiting for a Spark,
And a little bit of Hope.
Sadness overgrown them,
Spreading like a wildfire.
Now became contagious.
A disease.

The Ghosts of fallen Lovers,
Broken by the Truth.
Questioning reality,
Slowly losing their morality.
Desperate for belonging, but -
Desired by none.
The World now dark,
No light, no brightness.

The Ghosts of fallen Lovers,
They got what they deserved.
But now revenge is coming,
Prepare for what is worse.


-FreeMind

Heavy pouring rain
That almost drowned me inside
Did not seem too bad when you first said
"Hello".

The next few days went fast and taunting,
Who was that man that left me hoping?

Strong destructive winds
That almost blew me away
Did not seem too bad when you stopped by again
And thats how I got to know your name.

The next few days had left me dreaming,
When will I see him once again?

No longer grey
The clouds made the sky look calming
And life was kind to me
And so was he.

The next few days went slow and gentle,
How did I not know I needed him before?

Sun is shining bright
We are sitting, leaving no space apart
Our hands are locked together
We hope that this will last forever.

The next few days have been so strange,
Whats wrong with him? Are things not going well?

The rain and wind have all came back
But this time not for me.
He let them take him far away
And did not stop to say
"Goodbye".

The next few days left me confused,
Why didn't he tell me? I thought things were good...

As it turns out he needed help
But I was preoccupied with my life at hand.
I sat in silence waiting,
For him to come home to me.
But days went by and he stayed gone.

And I could not stop thinking of that first "Hello".


-FreeMind

At 5 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "pretty".
They sat hand in hand
And played pretend
That they were "Oh so ready!"
She told her friends
So they all giggled without an end.

At 10 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "gross".
"Too much hair! Look at that fat!
I'd rather like a monkey instead!"
Tears rolled down,
Self esteem has broke.
She told no one,
Because she already knew
What she was...

At 15 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "beautiful".
So strong and tall,
She gave no thought
But loved him always more.
"He is no good for you"
"Find someone better"
She let these words fly past.
They stood hand in hand
Against the world
They always stood together.

But something changed...

No longer interested in her
"I can not wait no more!"
He robbed her of her flower once,
And then once more.
Regret and tears,
Nothing more.
She held it all inside too long.
She asked for help.
In need of aid.
But got nothing more
Than blue, purple, and red
All over her.

At 17 years old
She liked no one.
She went nowhere.
She did nothing.
She wanted forgiveness.
She wanted life to simply end.
No words to speak.
Only thoughts filled her now.
The "Why?" and "What?" and "How?"
They almost killed her.
She cried all night.
She sat all day
With nothing else getting in her way.
All alone,
No longer her,
Thinking of the best way,
To finally give in
And say,

Goodbye...



-FreeMind

Free your soul
Empty your mind
Dance in the rain
It is you they desire

Free your soul
Dismiss the past
The future is beaming
Help them enter at last

Free your soul
They will come and go
Don't let them stop you
It is your time to grow

Free your soul
Surrender to that sound
Let the music surround you
It will help you be found

Free your soul
It is your time to choose
No time to waste
This isn't a battle you lose

Free your soul
Let go of the pain
Your heart will thank you
Don't let is stay strained


Free your soul
You know how


-FreeMind

My head in the clouds,
My heart in the sky,
This is when I realize I cannot say goodbye.

Beauty surrounds me,
It fills my insides.
Nature is glory,
It is joy to my mind.

My hands in the air,
A sweet melody on my mind.
I am finally free,
Not drowning in the ocean glee.

Theres no reason to run,
No reason to hide.
Desire to explore the nature,
Is pervading inside.

My head in the clouds,
My heart in the sky,
This is when I realize I cannot say goodbye.



-FreeMind

With shampoo in my hair
And shower gel running down my back,
I hear an unexpected knock,
And realize that you came back,
Fully dressed in Black.

I run down as you scream for me,
And see you standing with your eyes inside of me.
"The Man in Black" they call you,
"The one that ends it all" they say.

I can't believe you came again to see me doing fine and well.
I told you not to come again,
I told you I was fine,
And yet you know me better than all,
Cause it is you that I desire.

So I welcome you
Back into my open arms,
As we sit and drink while remembering all the past
In which we could have been.
Until I left you for myself.

But when I look up I see you staring.
This time not at me,
It's right through me,
And that's when it hits me...

You have taken what was left of me,
As your lust for me could not be tamed.



-FreeMind

Would you agree if I said that nothing lasts forever?
That things fall apart before we can ever get them together?

When the days are short and nights are long it is this we are all thinking of...
We build our life on the constant ocean tide that only keeps moving forward.
But the ocean is unpredictable, no one is spared, nothing lasts forever.

We grow and move on but there are still some that fall, and it is up to us to help them when things fall apart.

No matter how hard we try, no matter what is at stake, things fall apart because nothing lasts forever.



-FreeMind

You torn my wings away from me,
Put shackles on my feet so that I wouldn't run away,
Abusing me day after wretched day.

You imprisoned me in the world where I did not belong,
Watching my endless attempts to escape,
As if I wasn't kept down with the massive amount of tape.

And now because of you I'm fallen.
You ruined the pure angel that saw the good in you,
And now I'm cast out of my home.
You jeopardizes my future for your personal amusement,
And now I'm wicked.  
And now I'm gone.


-FreeMind

Surrounded by dullness,
Feeling nothing by emptiness,
And all at once it starts to close up on me.
Leaving me breathless,
Sending pain across my shivering body.
Blind by the darkness that has once again become a piece of me,
I start to feel at home.
This feeling that most would refers to as awful blankness
Leaves a smile on my face.
Is it that I'm used to it? Or have I gone completely mad?



If only they knew that Madness is unstoppable.



-FreeMind

Oblivious to the reality I live in,
I'm slowly driven insane by the madness surrounding me.
The walls that have been build up from stories you told me,
Are now shattered with lies.
They break above me, suffocating me with their heaviness.
And yet it feels like nothing worse then my day-to-day life.
Maybe I'm used to it? Or maybe you just ruined me this much...



-FreeMind

The worst thing about Pain is that it is inevitable.
As humans we never know when it will strike us.
We can only wait and hope for the best.

But with Pain, comes its best friend Anxiety,
And when those two come together,
They become a killer team.

Tell me I did not warn you,
For the harm that was to come
The grief that overtook your soul…
And now you are gone.



-FreeMind

In the Darkness
The only Light I see
Is the one that comes from within me.

It bursts right through my broken soul,
It fills me in,
It makes me whole.  

The misplaced doll is fixed once more.


-FreeMind

Its an upside-down world
Where good is bad
and right is wrong.
Where love is hate
and kindness is an awful crime...

We live here thinking that we are the great
But we are all just waiting to see our fate.
We wait for the unreturned love,
That is hidden by those above.
We want those that don't want us,
But isn't it all just an awful fuss?


-FreeMind

The door was wide open,
And yet I found nothing intriguing as I sat in front of it -
Slowly watching people pass by.

The door started to close,
And only when it became ajar did I realize that something was wrong.
I yelled for help as the darkness started to consume me,
Still through the door I could see the people just passing by,
Not daring to look in my direction.

The door was fully shut.
And I was disappeared.
Completely consumed by the darkness that I have become so familiar with.
There was nothing friendly about it.
Nothing that I had hoped.
It was plain darkness.
Unfortunately for me...
Nothing more...



-FreeMind

He tortured me,
He lulled me in,
He took me in his arms again.
I felt his presence all at once,
As he pushed me through the dark again.
It was too much for me to take,
My head was spinning, I lay awake.
He pushed me out the open door and watched me fall until I tore.
I screamed allowed!
I begged for help!
But no one thought to take me in.
They watched me burn in flames again,
Until there was nothing left but pain.

Until the blood was flowing in my eyes and blinding me from the skies...


-FreeMind

For years I was surrounded by darkness,
Darkness that began to feel pleasant to me,
Darkness that I got used to living in.

Every time I got pulled into it,
I would greet it as a friend.
I accepted it and the pain that came along with it.
Forgetting what I have lost.

And yet you came along and brought a change to my life,
Happiness to my life.
You made me smile and laugh,
You brought me joy that I haven't felt before.

You are the sunshine in the darkest place,
That lights me up with a strong desire to live on.
To leave the darkness and stay in the light with you.
You changed who I was and made my world a better place to live in.

And now I am yours forever.



-FreeMind

One day, Time will stop.
You will no longer be filled with all these feelings that once brought you joy.
There will be Nothing left to inspire you.
Nothing to bring you that tiny bit of Happiness.
There will simply be Nothing left.

And when that day comes, it will be up to you,
To decide to continue,
Or to simply give up that last breath of air that fills your lungs entirely.
And in that moment the decision might be final.
But before you let go. Stop. Think.

Think about all those times your stomach was filled with butterflies,
And your mouth filled with laughter,
And your lungs surrounded by a garden of flowers that grew inside of you.
Just stop. Think.
Think for as long as you have to- until you realize that once you let that air go,
All you have to do is take a deeper breath and fill yourself with Life.
Because One day can turn into a New day, but only if You chose so.



-FreeMind

One look at you, and there it goes.
A shame to say, but I have froze...


This tsunami of memories floods my mind.
Inescapable. Unavoidable.
And slowly I become a prisoner that has been left behind.

You.
The one thing I have desired.
You.
The one that tore my soul away.
You.
The one that controls me even when you are gone.

How?
How is it that one can ruin my life repeatedly?
I suffer the pain over and over again.
No matter how hard I try,
It is inescapable.
I am trapped.
And all
because
of
You.



-FreeMind

My mind is intoxicated with your lies.
I need you to save me, make me feel alive...


-FreeMind

And like a fool,
I let you take me to the dark,
Where you would rule.
"But will you let me see the spark?"

You tricked me with your smile,
And now I am trapped,
But can't compile
There reason for this dark desire...

Lies! All silly little lies.
This is your game,
But whats the prize?

And now I know...


I was a Marionette.
Made to entertain you, due to threat.
Perform in the theater when you were bored.
Was I not warned?
"Oh how I wish I was adored!"

And all of a sudden, my strings got old,
They broke apart.
The puppet is sold.
I thought I was smart,
But am no longer in your tiny little heart.



-FreeMind

And all of a sudden I felt it spark inside of me.
The struck of the lightning bolt had diminished the emptiness within my fallen Soul,
I was finally able to feel.

Feel the warmth of the sun on my pale skin, politeness of lonely strangers,
The energy, the excitement, the friendliness, Happiness.
All these emotions came rushing back!

I was alone. Hardly anything changed. And yet it all felt different.
Step by step, day by day, Life became better.
I stopped getting the daily visits from Death.
It left me without a "Goodbye", and I was glad.
Glad that Life became my new friend.

But most importantly, I am glad that I can finally enjoy the small joys,
The small acts of kindness that Life brings to me.

I feel everything but emptiness.
At last I am full.
And all because I am finally free -
From You.



-FreeMind

Everything was falling apart.

Life was being crushed by all these Hopes and Dreams
That one has created for themselves but could never reach.
No matter the effort, Nothing worked out.
It was an endless cycle of disappointment...

You were there too. You stood and watched.
And yet were blind to all that was happening.
You did not feel that fire,
You did not feel the pain,
You ignored the tsunami of issues that consumed me whole.

How could you?
How could you be so oblivious to the torture I was put through?
Why did you?
Why did you leave when I needed you most?



Death is a joke and I can't stop laughing...



-FreeMind