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Dinodust Jul 16
Take my heart and break it like you would to a dozen of eggs

Each piece is a shattered part that won’t be put together again

And I

Wish I could just breathe some fresh air again

But my shattered heart put a sidewall leak in my lungs

And when

I start to crawl no it’s not me just some empty shell

And when

I finally collapse just know that I tried my best

I tried for you my dear

Just remember that out of all the things I’ve done

I just wanted to survive
Jun 10 · 22
Untitled
Dinodust Jun 10
Here’s the thing I can’t do anything right
Even if I totally try
It’s so barren
I don’t know what to do

But that’s okay I’ll just stay here
in the mess that I’ve become

The walls are empty but it’s crowded
I could burn the whole place down
But it wouldn’t matter because my pictures are on their way out

and I am not your victim
I’m not even yours to own
You can’t know everything
You don’t know what you don’t know
May 16 · 37
Promises
Dinodust May 16
I kept the note

Ya know, the one you brought with the ring

I even held on to it the week you were so stubborn and angry

To much so to talk to me all seven days

Yet we still were together

I still wear the silver ring with crystals

I hold on to letters and trinkets

That you’ve gave to me

The promises

That you’ve kept so far
May 16 · 21
Communication
Dinodust May 16
Calls
Texts
Letters

Every month
Every week
Every day

I write
I miss you
I love you

On the hour
Every hour

I wonder when the time will strike

When I’ll see you again

And if you’ll leave me

As your wife
I miss you N.A.W
Dec 2019 · 122
Teddy bear
Dinodust Dec 2019
Home used to be a distant wish
Home used to be a cage
Home used to be the place I died

But now

Home is with you
And only you
I love you my sweet boy.
Sep 2019 · 67
Untitled
Dinodust Sep 2019
I will try to forgive myself
For living in the dark
For my loss of laughter
For forgetting how to see

I will try to forgive myself
For being gone for too long
And being bored of breathing

For not remembering
For not being in my head
For not starting right now

I will try
Aug 2019 · 73
Numb
Dinodust Aug 2019
I built his words around me
How much trauma can I take
Someone please just take me
But what difference will that make
If I find no happiness

Now I’m filled with misery
How will I ever survive
With him it would go bitterly
With all of that strive
But will I ever feel complete
Jul 2019 · 178
Untitled
Dinodust Jul 2019
All sickness is not unto death, neither am I
Jul 2019 · 98
Untitled
Dinodust Jul 2019
Empty floor
Empty walls
Empty closet

Alone

I feel the stickiness again

Oh god..

You did this
Did you know that?
Of course you don’t..
You don’t care..
You never cared..
Not about me anyways..

But now you care

About your reputation
You only care about yourself
But you can’t do anything now

How does it feel to be trapped??

It doesn’t feel nice, huh?
Now you know how I felt in those years
Jul 2019 · 214
Untitled
Dinodust Jul 2019
‪Not valid‬
‪Not worthy‬
‪Not loved‬
‪Just disposable ‬
‪Unwanted ‬
‪Usable ‬
‪But only for his needs‬

‪So‬
‪Drip drip ‬
‪Drop‬

‪Uh-oh‬
‪My blood is spilt‬

‪You can’t wash off your mistakes now‬
‪What ever will you do?‬
Pathetic
Jun 2019 · 54
Untitled
Dinodust Jun 2019
Oh no

I don’t think I’m clean

Will you ever love me?

Oh no

I was too ***** from the start

How will you think of this?

Oh no

Oh no
May 2019 · 79
Infinite pain
Dinodust May 2019
How many choruses of corpses have you collected?

At least you’re good at something I suppose

I guess I was never enough for you

Or was I since you never let me go?
Thoughts
May 2019 · 272
Response
Dinodust May 2019
My feet trace the ground

As my heavy shoulders lift my head

And I stare at the shadows in the room

The windows respond with a sad glow

Tears fill my eyes as I wonder

Would I be better off dead?
Thoughts.
May 2019 · 165
Untitled
Dinodust May 2019
I don’t know how god thinks
But god do you love me?
May 2019 · 62
Tonight
Dinodust May 2019
Can I pay to keep my secrets safe?
Will you break my bones tonight?
Will you grab my throat tonight?

Will you shatter my heart tonight?
Will you turn my head to doubt?
Will you blame me like always?
Will you end me tonight?

Hold on
Wake up
Get ****** up

There’s tears in my eyes
Head in my hands
Worry on my mind
Pain in my chest

Will I be okay tonight?
Can I find a way out tonight?
Can I pay to keep my secrets safe?
I am not okay.
May 2019 · 104
Blood gush
Dinodust May 2019
Drip, drip, drop

My heart is torn

For who does it long for?

Who does it know?

Does it long for affection?

From passbyers

Or from old lovers

For it does not know who it wants

Anymore..
I don’t know anymore..
May 2019 · 127
Band Shirt
Dinodust May 2019
[verse 1]
The pastor says I’m good
But was I ever good?
Jesus Christ, I wasn’t good
I’ll nail my wrist up to the board
I’ll nail my wrist up to the board
Yeah, that was good enough
Right?

[verse 2]
The therapist says I’m ******
Maybe I am ****** up?
I bet he’s ****** up
Maybe in the hospital lights
I could tell a sickly joke
Tell a sickly joke
Twinkle twinkle little star
Suicide seems so good
Twinkle twinkle little star
I hope I ******’ die tonight
Oh, I hope I ******’ die tonight

[chorus]
Singing
I do not like him
I do not mind you much
He was just my first
Now I’m headed toward my death
I guess he never cared, huh?
I guess he never cared, huh?
Now I’m cold to the touch
Done my death
Lied to the end
Now I’m cold to the touch
Done my death
Lied to the end

[verse 4]
I feel his hands all over me
I feel his hands all over me..
Past.
Apr 2019 · 167
Empty
Dinodust Apr 2019
Nothing feels right

Nothing

Not an action or word

Anything I do

Nothing feels

r i g h t

I stare blankly at the ceiling

My throat burns

The lump is still there

The only thing that tells me I’m real

That I’m alive

The burning of medicine

Settling in my throat

Making it known

That I’m not normal

That I’ll always be like this

That I’ll cry

Hurt

For no reason

That I’ll never find anyone

To love me

I dig my nails into my palms

Nothing

No pain

And again

There’s nothing

And

I sob
I don’t know anymore.
Apr 2019 · 118
...
Dinodust Apr 2019
...
Sometimes
I think
He
Ruined
Love
For
Me

Will anyone
Want me
For just me?

Or just use me
And leave me
For dead?

Like he did?

Will they go behind my back?
Cheat?
While I stay loyal

Like he did?

Will they trap me
With words
And threats?

Will they coax
Terrible coping mechanisms
Like him?

Will they laugh
At my pain?
My blood?
My tears?

Will anyone
Love me?

For me..
Trauma *****. Ptsd *****. I hope you learn.
Apr 2019 · 413
Over you.
Dinodust Apr 2019
I sat in the belly of the empty house
Only me

Alone
Crying
Angry
Hurt

Tears dripped down my face
As I screamed

Alone

In the belly

Crying
Angry
And
Hurt
Man cutting people off who are bad for you is hard :/
Apr 2019 · 105
Chemicals.
Dinodust Apr 2019
I feel empty.

What do you mean?

Like I shouldn’t be anywhere, there’s a hollow feeling in my chest. I want to lay here forever and never get up. I don’t feel the need to get up and walk or eat. I don’t feel the need for anything.

Then why are you crying?

I don’t know. Maybe my body is weeping for me, it knows it can’t keep me much longer. I feel nothing though, I’m not sad to say. Just empty.

Will you be okay?

I have no idea.
Everything is ****** wack and I want I too throw up. I feel physically sick from my mental health.
Mar 2019 · 242
Friend’s Ghost
Dinodust Mar 2019
[verse 1]
Quiet lies, how are you? It feels like we’ve waited long enough to find someone different. Quiet lies; that’s your name right? At least that’s what I call you. You should’ve called it off, before you became such an attention seeker. It wasn’t bitter time but that’s what’s you made of it. Should’ve kept on being alone, because you claimed it was better.

[chorus]
So help me make amends with all my friend’s ghost. But now they’re just different people. Oh, there’s just nothing left of them.

[verse 2]
Oh, ocean eyes; have you had enough to drink, quite yet? It’s not like it really matters because you’re drowning in it. It’s so bitter that you had to grab a sugar cube to make the most of it. I hope you’re happy, hope you’re better, hope you’re meeting all your fools! So, keep contemplating your small size and maybe bring the heat next time. Did you ever even love or were you always filled with hate?

[chorus]
So help me make amends with all my friend’s ghost. But now they’re just different people. Oh, there’s just nothing left of them.

[verse 3]
Devil wise, keep on crying out to your dark and screaming skies. Your words are falling on deaf and dying ears. Are you dying at the thought that you can’t control anyone? I’m sure you became an addict to that and my pouring blood. You licked it up at every chance you had, but now it’s gone and you’re wilting. Oh, devil wise; are you evil or is that a memory? Some people want to be your friend and some just want to be free. And the worst thing about me is that I’m in between. I might miss you, but I just want to be clean!

[chorus]
So help me make amends with all my friend’s ghost. But now they’re just different people. Oh, there’s just nothing left of them.

Oh, this is not at all what junior year should be..
Edgy teen garage band time. Catch me as song writer and lead singer :)
Feb 2019 · 154
Too Small
Dinodust Feb 2019
My bed is too small for my tiredness. As for my eyes are too small for my tears, they swallow my face in their sadistic way. Drip, drip, drop they sing in harmony hitting the floor; filling my room up. My floors are too small for my body, how it grows bigger and bigger and heavier and heavier. Until I can’t bare to move. My mind is too small for my thoughts, they tip over and flow and flow. As I lash out at myself and others. And as these things grow too small and the fluids pour out. My floors creaks beneath the weigh and I creak back.
I feel weird..
Feb 2019 · 103
Crashing Waves
Dinodust Feb 2019
Oh, sweet ocean child, your pain has worsened. The mountains weep for you, the sky becomes dull for you, the winds cry out for you. They see your suffering, dear child, just like I do. Sing your melancholy melody to me, for maybe singing can put the pain away. Maybe talking can help your broken soul. Don’t be afraid young one, I have fixed myself. But I hope you can fix yourself.
You know who you are.
Feb 2019 · 300
Beast
Dinodust Feb 2019
Oh, star born beast, will you cry at the moon? For she is your mother, who made you beautiful and perfect, and yet she left you on the dust plain. She loved you but you pulled, and pulled, and pulled away. You didn’t believe in yourself or your beauty, you gnashed your teeth into her delicate skin. Until finally she put you away, so you will learn about your worth. And finally so you will put blame on yourself. Tell me celestial beast, what do you fear? Change or yourself?
You know who you are.
Jan 2019 · 264
Starchild
Dinodust Jan 2019
The stars were the only sparks of the fire which devoured my soul

If those sparks went out, there would be nothing left in the sky but dead stars and my dead eyes
Hence nothing remains but my regrets
Jan 2019 · 478
Notes 5
Dinodust Jan 2019
You’ve got a sad love
Deep in your eyes
That kind of deep love
That man cannot find

So baby love me
With all that you can
And I’ll give you
All of my strength

I know you’re broken
But so am I
I know that pain
That lingers inside

That kind of dull pain
That tugs at your heart
And makes you sob at night
With no one around

So baby love me
With all that you have
And I’ll give you
All of my care
I kinda want to make this a song
Dec 2018 · 184
I Played Housewife for You
Dinodust Dec 2018
2 am is when the station plays its sounds

And now that you’re gone

It only plays in black and white

There’s no reds or blues or yellows

As the monochromatic frequencies play their horrid tunes

And all I can do it cry to you in despair

And wait for you to never come

For my naive ways thought you cared

When truly you never did

For you destroyed everything

You left me with my tangled bobbin

And my sewing pins in disarray

Along with my sewing machine jammed

And never came back

For you were probably drunk with another girl

And forgot about me
This is just one big metaphor. I still blame myself for everything. I still say I don’t have trauma because of you but I know that’s a lie. You destroyed me and made me worse with every passing second and I wish that was a joke. It’s taken me forever to even mutter that it wasn’t my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not. I’m done being your puppet.
Dec 2018 · 660
Ice love
Dinodust Dec 2018
You my love

Were like snow

Beautiful and delicate

Fun and soft

But you left my heart cold

And made it isolate itself inside my rib cage

Where it grew lonely and sad each and everyday
I’ve been thinking.
Nov 2018 · 297
Red
Dinodust Nov 2018
Red
All I can see is red

As it claws at my throat

And tears drip down my face
I’m angry and someone pushed me over the edge
Nov 2018 · 212
Grief
Dinodust Nov 2018
Can someone tell me when this ends?

Can someone tell me how far this heart bends?

Is this all just a bunch of trends?

That will never make my mind amend?

I’m tired of the

Depends
And
Defends

I just want the long weekends

So I can finally make some mends
I’m tired
Oct 2018 · 399
Untitled
Dinodust Oct 2018
I never meant to hurt you

But here you are hurting me on purpose
I hate that place and almost everyone in it..
Dinodust Oct 2018
I sat on the edge of his bed
Softly played with his hair
His small hand reached out
“Can I whisper something in your ear?”
His sleepy voice questioned

I bent down
And he held my cheeks
And with the softest
Tiniest
Whisper
He said

“I love you to the moon and the stars and with all of my big ole heart!”

My heart warmed up
And I grinned

“I love you too bud”

He kissed my cheek
And hugged my neck
His tiny arms holding me

I tucked him in

Turned off the light

And said

“Goodnight sweetheart”
I love being a nanny so much like,,, my heart is full!!! Goodness I love these kids
Oct 2018 · 1.8k
I’m tired.
Dinodust Oct 2018
I’m tired

Mentally

Emotionally

Physically

I’m tired of over thinking

I’m tired

I’m tired of it all

I’m tired of her

I’m tired of him

I’m tired of this feeling

Deep inside my chest

That makes me want to rip everything out

Tear me to shreads

But I can’t do that

I can’t have another 11 a.m. kitchen sink surgery

I’m tired of crying

Tired of feeling guilty

Tired of feeling unloved

Tired of forcing myself to eat

Tired of shaking

Tired of feeling empty

Tired of being numb

I’m tired.

I’m tired of always sleeping

I’m tired of forcing myself to do things

I’m tired of wanting to be liked

I’m tired of hating my body

I’m tired

I’m tired
Oct 2018 · 175
Hero
Dinodust Oct 2018
Guess I messed up
Guess I made a bad call
But I have no idea
What I could have done different

One little choice
One small action
One coincidence of thought
And the lights went out

I want to dance
Want to gaze at the sky
Want to take a picture
Of the end of the world

I never thought
Things really die
Not in real life, in real life
There’s no such thing as ghosts

I am not a hero
I am not a movie star
I am not a genius
I am not a monk
I’m not special
I’m the same as anyone else

You and I
We were always a mess
Drinking our bourbon
Screaming in the streets

When I saw you coming
Ice and rage in your eyes
I put on my armor and my shield
And sharpened my sword

I am not a hero
I am not a movie star
I am not a genius
I am not a monk
I’m not special
I’m the same as you

You
You were there too
You drove that train
Right through my heart

You
You were there too
You drove that train
Right through my heart

But I guess it’s time
To put that to bed
I guess it’s time
To let the dead be dead
Lyric and music by Dave Malloy. I decided to post this because I relate to this a lot. It’s such an emotional piece and Brittain (Rose) sings it with such passion. It’s such a good song, the first time I sang it I sobbed.
Sep 2018 · 145
Untitled
Dinodust Sep 2018
The anger in your heart will warm you now but keep you cold in your grave
Thoughts
Sep 2018 · 124
741-741 iii
Dinodust Sep 2018
“Thank you for reaching out tonight, my name is Gary. I am here for you tonight.”
Why am I like this? No one cares. I’m so scared. J’n epof.
Sep 2018 · 119
741-741 ii
Dinodust Sep 2018
“I’m giving up hope I thought this would help..”
I don’t know what to feel anymore
Sep 2018 · 103
741-741
Dinodust Sep 2018
“Hello, I’m scared..”
I don’t know what to do anymore I feel like a freak and I hate myself
Sep 2018 · 181
Snip ii
Dinodust Sep 2018
I slid the scissors underneath the threads

Then I cut them into two

Collected them

And casted them aside

Just like they did

To me
My friends say it’s unfair and I think I believe them
Sep 2018 · 176
Snip
Dinodust Sep 2018
And with those words

The one thing that tied me to this place

Is gone

But my anger

Is still here

Clawing up my cervical

And tying me up

Tighter
And
Tighter
I wish I was dead
Aug 2018 · 118
Numb ii
Dinodust Aug 2018
Feelings have colors

And numbness isn’t the static gray we think it is

It’s purple, blue, and red

While every other feeling
Is the static gray

Love isn’t pink anymore

Happiness isn’t the color of the sun

Peace isn’t the color of purity

It’s all a mix of the shades of gray

Maybe I’m finally okay with being purple, blue, and red
Aug 2018 · 141
I thought I was clean
Dinodust Aug 2018
Don’t make me a liar

But I swear to god

When I did it

I felt nothing more
You’ve always been a sucker for dogs
Aug 2018 · 223
self medication
Dinodust Aug 2018
I grab the thin neck bottle from the fridge
I can already hear you scolding me

As I pop the pills
And drink away

All that was left
Of my day
Aug 2018 · 145
King of Zone Two: DEFEAT
Dinodust Aug 2018
hence nothing remains expect for our regrets
Off.
Aug 2018 · 323
not again
Dinodust Aug 2018
Nervous picking
Shaking
Looking down
Never up

I tear up
I build walls
And
I hide away

Just like old me

And I hated it
I don’t want to hide
But I don’t want to break down in front of people

So it builds
And consumes
Until I break
And sob until there’s nothing left
And then I’m empty again
**** my life
Aug 2018 · 94
Blur
Dinodust Aug 2018
I never truly knew you

After how many years?

Did I ever know you?

I keep learning things about you..

How you weren’t loyal..

Does anyone know you?

You seem so fictional

So unreal

I can’t fathom your actions any longer

I don’t want to fathom you

Anymore
I feel so used
Jul 2018 · 510
Soul’s Vision
Dinodust Jul 2018
If you can’t own your past

You can’t own your future
Jun 2018 · 571
Generalized Anxiety
Dinodust Jun 2018
Line my thoughts up like gascans
Throw the match right next to them

Now my thoughts aren’t in a line
But rather a mess scattered around

Much like my mind already
Why am I worrying about the littlest things that I think will grow and **** me? I have no clue.
Jun 2018 · 113
Sick
Dinodust Jun 2018
I know what isn’t best for me

So don’t try to break me open

I won’t

I can’t..

I can’t because I just can’t open up like I have

I won’t and I can’t

And I hate it when I can feel your ******* pity bleeding out over text

I feel so pushed to get everything out

But I can’t

I can’t give myself away like that

Not again

I push myself away because it’s really the only way I know how to protect myself

I’m scared of breaking open

I’m scared of hurting other people because of this ******* curse I have

I didn’t ask to be made

I didn’t ask to be like this

I don’t want this

I don’t want this

I feel so sick

I feel so useless

So worthless

I don’t know what to do anymore

I’m just so scared

Of talking

About everything

And I’m sorry

That I’m pushing you away

I just don’t know what to do anymore..
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