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Dinodust May 2018
I spilled everything

To you

And I wasn’t drugged

Maybe I was, on my numbness

I’ve been numb for weeks

As nothing was working
Past coping mechanisms

Nothing.

So I spilled words
To you
In the middle of night

I don’t remember how long I spoke

All I remember is your arms squeezing around me

And I barely felt them

Through the numbness

At the parts that got too into detail
Too gory
Too sad
Too painful

And I was stupid

Just confessing
About everything
I’ve done

I’ve never spoke about how I was treated by him

The gas lighting

The harsh words

The abandonment

And so much more..

How part of me thinks there’s some good

Somewhere

In him

The deep and terrible relapse in the shower  

The bathroom surgery..

Which I didn’t feel from the numbness

When everything went down

How I thought about suicide

Chugging chemicals just to get out of it

How I grabbed the bottle...

How my mind was just numb

I wanted nothing to do with it

Nothing with him or them

How I yelled and screamed and threw plates

How my anger got the best of me

The pain on my parent’s faces

How they just wanted to keep me safe

Safe..

Like I was with you

Safe... With your arms around me

And finally you got me to lay down

Somehow

With your soft touch
And your voice

And somehow I fell asleep

And the numbness faded..
Thank you, kiddo
1.8k · Oct 2018
I’m tired.
Dinodust Oct 2018
I’m tired

Mentally

Emotionally

Physically

I’m tired of over thinking

I’m tired

I’m tired of it all

I’m tired of her

I’m tired of him

I’m tired of this feeling

Deep inside my chest

That makes me want to rip everything out

Tear me to shreads

But I can’t do that

I can’t have another 11 a.m. kitchen sink surgery

I’m tired of crying

Tired of feeling guilty

Tired of feeling unloved

Tired of forcing myself to eat

Tired of shaking

Tired of feeling empty

Tired of being numb

I’m tired.

I’m tired of always sleeping

I’m tired of forcing myself to do things

I’m tired of wanting to be liked

I’m tired of hating my body

I’m tired

I’m tired
Dinodust Apr 2018
Alone

No one

But me

In a room

Tears streaming down my face
A normal thing at this point
A numb pain
Which I wanted to feel
As silver ripped through me
I needed stitches looking back
But I never told
Because I made sure
That I was always isolated

I was always alone
I would try to talk to him
But he always left
Left me for dead
Is what it felt like

Lost
And
Alone

Trying to find happiness in a dark maze

All alone

With no one to help me

Or to even love me

I was always lost
And alone

Crying out to no one

Reaching out to no one

No one

No one..




No one but me..

In a dark maze

Screaming for help
Screams I never wanted to be heard

Because he didn’t help..
So why would others help?

If he cared about me
And didn’t help..

Why would others that cared about me?

Surely they wouldn’t help either..

So I isolated myself more

Because people didn’t care

People wouldn’t help

I lied
To protect my isolation
A prison I made for myself

Until one day

I snapped

I wanted out
Out of that prison
And the only way out
Was death..



Or so I thought

I found out that people cared

After I destroyed my skin
With cuts and slices
And almost bled out

How after I was patched up
My mother bought me long sleeve shirts

How my god-parents made me my favorite meal

How friends invited me over so I wouldn’t be alone

How I wasn’t isolated anymore

How that maze wasn’t dark anymore

How I wasn’t alone

How I could reach out

And someone would come running

To take me home..
660 · Dec 2018
Ice love
Dinodust Dec 2018
You my love

Were like snow

Beautiful and delicate

Fun and soft

But you left my heart cold

And made it isolate itself inside my rib cage

Where it grew lonely and sad each and everyday
I’ve been thinking.
571 · Jun 2018
Generalized Anxiety
Dinodust Jun 2018
Line my thoughts up like gascans
Throw the match right next to them

Now my thoughts aren’t in a line
But rather a mess scattered around

Much like my mind already
Why am I worrying about the littlest things that I think will grow and **** me? I have no clue.
528 · Mar 2018
P A N I C
Dinodust Mar 2018
Lightheaded

My heart tearing up my chest

Sweating

My stomach throbbing

Overthinking

Memories

P
A
N
I
C
A
T
T
A
C
K

I can’t cry here
I can’t throw up playing a clarinet
So I run
to the bathroom

And I start dry heaving
Until tears flow
And I can’t control myself

But I only have a minute
To get ahold of myself
And
To make sure it looks like I didn’t
just lose my emotions

God, I hate this

I hate my facades
I’m not truly okay half the time
I just act happy
Because I
HATE
It when people worry about me

I’m not worthy of love
Not yet that is
I need to learn to love myself
Before I can love anyone else

But
I hate this facade
That I’ve made for myself

I’m sorry..
I love panicattacks and ptsd in the morning :))))
510 · Jul 2018
Soul’s Vision
Dinodust Jul 2018
If you can’t own your past

You can’t own your future
478 · Jan 2019
Notes 5
Dinodust Jan 2019
You’ve got a sad love
Deep in your eyes
That kind of deep love
That man cannot find

So baby love me
With all that you can
And I’ll give you
All of my strength

I know you’re broken
But so am I
I know that pain
That lingers inside

That kind of dull pain
That tugs at your heart
And makes you sob at night
With no one around

So baby love me
With all that you have
And I’ll give you
All of my care
I kinda want to make this a song
476 · Apr 2018
Void=Me
Dinodust Apr 2018
I’m sorry
How I shut down
And ask to leave

For it was the only thing I learned
From depression and love

I didn’t think the two mixed
And I was right

It doesn’t mix with the wrong person

It doesn’t mix when Love leaves you

It doesn’t mix when hate seeps through

It doesn’t mix with heated agreements

It doesn’t mix with insecurities

I guess I’ve learned things

And maybe I haven’t

For I am not the smartest
Nor never will be

For
I am nothing

Compared to feelings

And issues that take away lives

Even though

I am small

A spec in this vast void of constellations

But

The same constellations cover me

In this void stars streak across their black background

But

The same stars streak across my thighs, back and arms

How supernovas glow in their robes of color

But

I have them for eyes

So

I guess

Even though I’m not very smart

I am the void

And the void is me

We are the same

And always will be
453 · Mar 2018
I woke up
Dinodust Mar 2018
I woke up one day
And it’s like nothing happened
Like everything changed

My alarm clock didn’t annoy me
I wasn’t sleepy
I was awake

I didn’t care that you weren’t hugging me
I didn’t care that our morning routine wasn’t a thing anymore

I woke up
And noticed new things
Like how you treated me
How it wasn’t truly love
But we thought it was

I saw how you were toxic
I saw the mind games you destroyed me with
I saw how you probably didn’t know or just didn’t care what you did

I noticed how you cared about my body more than my emotions
How your comments outweighed your concern for my sadness

I woke up
And knew you never got help for cutting yourself
Yet you claimed my parents didn’t help me
Which is weird because I’ve had help for the longest time

I woke up
And I felt pity for you
Because people thought you were disgusting after finding out what you did
And how most of your “friends” were only friends because we were dating
They figured there must be some good in you
Because I was dating you

I woke up
And saw how you heightened my depression
I saw how you were controlling

I woke up
And saw how you thought you were better than everyone
And how you thought you could do anything that you pleased

Things people always told me when we were together
But I just ignored because “It can’t be true”

I woke up
And I cared about myself more than I did you

I woke up
And I loved myself more than I did you

I woke up
And didn’t listen to your lies

I woke up
And I started a new life
413 · Apr 2019
Over you.
Dinodust Apr 2019
I sat in the belly of the empty house
Only me

Alone
Crying
Angry
Hurt

Tears dripped down my face
As I screamed

Alone

In the belly

Crying
Angry
And
Hurt
Man cutting people off who are bad for you is hard :/
400 · Oct 2018
Untitled
Dinodust Oct 2018
I never meant to hurt you

But here you are hurting me on purpose
I hate that place and almost everyone in it..
325 · May 2018
Thank you
Dinodust May 2018
My lungs filled up with numbness

And they filled up so much that they spilt over

Into my stomach

Then my limbs

My body

And my head

I didn’t feel anything

Nothing at all

No thoughts

No emotions

No feeling



And

I guess
You noticed





“Are you okay?”

“Yeah..”

“Are you sure?”

I shrugged

Your lips pulled into a sharp line

You pulled me closer

To your heart

A soft rhythm

And you whispered to me

About all the things I’ve overcame

How strong I am

My achievements

You whispered to me how you see me

You stayed with me even though you had something important to do

You asked if I was stable enough to be alone for awhile

And you stayed when I softly shook my head

You left when I said I was fine

When really I wasn’t

So I slept until you got back

And you softly woke me up

You hugged me again

Thank you..
323 · Aug 2018
not again
Dinodust Aug 2018
Nervous picking
Shaking
Looking down
Never up

I tear up
I build walls
And
I hide away

Just like old me

And I hated it
I don’t want to hide
But I don’t want to break down in front of people

So it builds
And consumes
Until I break
And sob until there’s nothing left
And then I’m empty again
**** my life
Dinodust May 2018
Can we have a conversation?

Not one with confrontation

Not one with aurgumention

Or any aggravation

I don’t want a investigation

Or a excavation

I just want a cross examination

So we don’t end up in this broken generation

Just searching for some recreation

Not enjoying any recreation

So we’ll move station to station

In our own migration

Where we don’t care about our location  

Stop giving me your collection

I don’t need your donation

Or the high pile of citation

To ‘help’ my depressive isolation

The grand medication  

Which actual doctors said I shouldn’t take for your clarification

Just let’s both take reflection

Of our coalition

I just want a good foundation

For our mentation

So we’ll have rational narration

I don’t want to be your decoration

I don’t want your dictation

That makes my mind go to inflation

I don’t want the public flirtation

That you think is my deflation

I don’t want your temptation

That slowly turns into intoxication

You’ve made my life into some grand illustration

And now I have no hesitation

To tear away your suffocation

Which you believed was my vaccination

This is the end of your collaboration





And that’s my duration..
300 · Feb 2019
Beast
Dinodust Feb 2019
Oh, star born beast, will you cry at the moon? For she is your mother, who made you beautiful and perfect, and yet she left you on the dust plain. She loved you but you pulled, and pulled, and pulled away. You didn’t believe in yourself or your beauty, you gnashed your teeth into her delicate skin. Until finally she put you away, so you will learn about your worth. And finally so you will put blame on yourself. Tell me celestial beast, what do you fear? Change or yourself?
You know who you are.
297 · Nov 2018
Red
Dinodust Nov 2018
Red
All I can see is red

As it claws at my throat

And tears drip down my face
I’m angry and someone pushed me over the edge
272 · May 2019
Response
Dinodust May 2019
My feet trace the ground

As my heavy shoulders lift my head

And I stare at the shadows in the room

The windows respond with a sad glow

Tears fill my eyes as I wonder

Would I be better off dead?
Thoughts.
264 · Jan 2019
Starchild
Dinodust Jan 2019
The stars were the only sparks of the fire which devoured my soul

If those sparks went out, there would be nothing left in the sky but dead stars and my dead eyes
Hence nothing remains but my regrets
Dinodust Oct 2018
I sat on the edge of his bed
Softly played with his hair
His small hand reached out
“Can I whisper something in your ear?”
His sleepy voice questioned

I bent down
And he held my cheeks
And with the softest
Tiniest
Whisper
He said

“I love you to the moon and the stars and with all of my big ole heart!”

My heart warmed up
And I grinned

“I love you too bud”

He kissed my cheek
And hugged my neck
His tiny arms holding me

I tucked him in

Turned off the light

And said

“Goodnight sweetheart”
I love being a nanny so much like,,, my heart is full!!! Goodness I love these kids
242 · Mar 2019
Friend’s Ghost
Dinodust Mar 2019
[verse 1]
Quiet lies, how are you? It feels like we’ve waited long enough to find someone different. Quiet lies; that’s your name right? At least that’s what I call you. You should’ve called it off, before you became such an attention seeker. It wasn’t bitter time but that’s what’s you made of it. Should’ve kept on being alone, because you claimed it was better.

[chorus]
So help me make amends with all my friend’s ghost. But now they’re just different people. Oh, there’s just nothing left of them.

[verse 2]
Oh, ocean eyes; have you had enough to drink, quite yet? It’s not like it really matters because you’re drowning in it. It’s so bitter that you had to grab a sugar cube to make the most of it. I hope you’re happy, hope you’re better, hope you’re meeting all your fools! So, keep contemplating your small size and maybe bring the heat next time. Did you ever even love or were you always filled with hate?

[chorus]
So help me make amends with all my friend’s ghost. But now they’re just different people. Oh, there’s just nothing left of them.

[verse 3]
Devil wise, keep on crying out to your dark and screaming skies. Your words are falling on deaf and dying ears. Are you dying at the thought that you can’t control anyone? I’m sure you became an addict to that and my pouring blood. You licked it up at every chance you had, but now it’s gone and you’re wilting. Oh, devil wise; are you evil or is that a memory? Some people want to be your friend and some just want to be free. And the worst thing about me is that I’m in between. I might miss you, but I just want to be clean!

[chorus]
So help me make amends with all my friend’s ghost. But now they’re just different people. Oh, there’s just nothing left of them.

Oh, this is not at all what junior year should be..
Edgy teen garage band time. Catch me as song writer and lead singer :)
227 · May 2018
Three f’s
Dinodust May 2018
run                               run          run
            run           run
  run              run         run       run
run        run           run     run   run
    run         run     run run      run
run         run     run    run     run
          run    run      run    run       run
run run       run  run     run run run
RUN   RUN     RUN    RUN    RUN
RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

Too late




you’re ensnared

You can’t flee



You can’t go..



You can’t hide...



You freeze


Maybe they’ll go away

You count



The time that it takes for them to go


1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8…9…10…11…12.  .  .  . 1,469...




They stay..




They advance more





You try to fight




What a sad, desperate fight


You’re small
Compared to them

Weight
And
Strength

You can’t speak
It’s like you were never taught how


You’re scared
Your mind is screaming at you
You can’t do ANYTHING

You’re too WEAK

You can’t FIGHT

You’ll die

Either by them

Or

Yourself
Flight, freeze or fight
224 · May 2018
AlBoUvSeE
Dinodust May 2018
Hug me?

Hug you, hug you.

Hold me?

Hold you, hold you.

Kiss me?

Kiss you, kiss you.

Love me?

Love you, love you.

Use you?

Use me, use me...

**** you?

**** me, **** me..
223 · Aug 2018
self medication
Dinodust Aug 2018
I grab the thin neck bottle from the fridge
I can already hear you scolding me

As I pop the pills
And drink away

All that was left
Of my day
221 · May 2018
Season 5, episode 15
Dinodust May 2018
She was awake at an ungodly hour
In the kitchen

Looking out the window
The view of her wooded backyard
Dark and obscured

A knife in hand
She cut through bread, cheese and meat
Making her meal for tomorrow

Her dog walked in
A wolf-like beast
She heard the clicking of his nails on the tile

She fed him
The smallest sliver

But
This became routine
And the dog wanted more
And more
Every night

So she fed it
More
And
More
Every night

Every night
And
Everyday

The slivers getting
Bigger
And
Bigger

Until




Nothing was left

Until he had taken

More

Than she had given
215 · May 2018
Goodbye
Dinodust May 2018
Say goodbye

Yes goodbye

For I don’t need you

Anymore

(anymore)

We’re we even friends?

(hello?)

Or just lovers from the start?

(where are you?)

Or were we ever lovers?

(can you hear me?)

Were we enemies from the beginning?

(goodbye I guess)

Throat to throat
(lips to lips)
Hand in hand
(razor to razor)
Heart to heart
(ashes to ashes)

But

When someone whispered

You

Just had to scream


Just had to

Prove

You’re better
In every

*******

way

For no reason

At

All


So

Goodbye

Goodbye..



(goodbye)
Gaslighting
214 · Jul 2019
Untitled
Dinodust Jul 2019
‪Not valid‬
‪Not worthy‬
‪Not loved‬
‪Just disposable ‬
‪Unwanted ‬
‪Usable ‬
‪But only for his needs‬

‪So‬
‪Drip drip ‬
‪Drop‬

‪Uh-oh‬
‪My blood is spilt‬

‪You can’t wash off your mistakes now‬
‪What ever will you do?‬
Pathetic
212 · Nov 2018
Grief
Dinodust Nov 2018
Can someone tell me when this ends?

Can someone tell me how far this heart bends?

Is this all just a bunch of trends?

That will never make my mind amend?

I’m tired of the

Depends
And
Defends

I just want the long weekends

So I can finally make some mends
I’m tired
206 · May 2018
The Switch Is Now OFF
Dinodust May 2018
He exited the mines

Unkept hair, pale skin, a ***** baseball uniform

‘Y-you... shouldn’t b-be here... what’s y-your purpose...”

The studdering man was young, scrawny, had cuts and bruises

‘I’m here to purify the land, to liberate the specters

‘W-well then... Can you l-liberate me?’

The man stared at the pitiful boy
Glared at him for awhile

His eyes narrowed

‘You are not pure’

He raised his bat

And swung

Aimed at his temple

And yet he held still

Knowing he wouldn’t last long anyway

Not breathing the smoke for air
Not eat the meat and sugar
Not walking on the plastic
Not digging metal from the bellies of cows
Not in the smoke mines
Not in the postal offices
Not at the meat fountains

There was no use for him

Not to the protector
Or the queen

His black oil blood covered the plastic grass and bricks

“T-thank you...”
Mortis Ghost’s OFF
199 · Mar 2018
I was tired
Dinodust Mar 2018
I was tired
Of being forced into a mold
That someone wanted me in
A mold I couldn’t fit in
A mold of someone else’s happiness

I was tired
Of you switching your stories

“This isn’t a break”
To
“I want you back”

To

“I was thinking about breaking up with you soon anyways”
To
“I was only thinking about what it would be like if we did”

To

“I’m over you”
To
“I still love you”

To

“I’m glad we’re not together”
To
“I wish I never said yes to breaking up..”

I was tired
Of you confusing me

I was tired
Of the gaslighting
That you did
Either intentionally
Or blindly

I was tired
Of crying over you
Crying so hard
Till my eyes were blood shot

I was tired
Of getting hurt
Because of you

I was tired
Of keeping all of this a secret
Just to keep you happy

I was tired
Of trying to make myself perfect for you
So you would be happy

I was tired
Of your ****** comments
That you thought were compliments

I was tired
Of me letting you do this

I was tired
That I couldn’t help myself during that time

I was tired
Of the fact I could never stand up to you

I was tired
Of feeling nothing

I was tired
Of the empty promises we made

I was tired
Of fights that had no meaning

I was tired

Of you
Of me
Of us
I’m still confused...
197 · May 2018
p-p-push me
Dinodust May 2018
I care too much

Or maybe love too much

Or maybe trust a little too much

And it doesn’t hurt

Until it’s too late

When I look back

And got nothing from them

When they took

More than I gave

More than I wanted

More than I expected..
I feel sick, *****, like a sinner, honestly I feel disgusting.
190 · Apr 2018
Drive
Dinodust Apr 2018
I walked out in the rain

Unlocked my car

A yellow 76’ Mercedes Benz

Opened the door and just sat

The smell of dust and leather mixed

I put my key in

Heated up the diesel and started it

I got out of my driveway
And just drove

With one hand on the wheel
The other on the shift

I really didn’t care
Where I went

The rain hit my windshield
And tears hit my cheeks

I couldn’t stop crying
I couldn’t stop

I didn’t have a reason to cry

So why am I?



I pulled over
And sobbed into the steering wheel
For no reason

For no reason..
184 · Dec 2018
I Played Housewife for You
Dinodust Dec 2018
2 am is when the station plays its sounds

And now that you’re gone

It only plays in black and white

There’s no reds or blues or yellows

As the monochromatic frequencies play their horrid tunes

And all I can do it cry to you in despair

And wait for you to never come

For my naive ways thought you cared

When truly you never did

For you destroyed everything

You left me with my tangled bobbin

And my sewing pins in disarray

Along with my sewing machine jammed

And never came back

For you were probably drunk with another girl

And forgot about me
This is just one big metaphor. I still blame myself for everything. I still say I don’t have trauma because of you but I know that’s a lie. You destroyed me and made me worse with every passing second and I wish that was a joke. It’s taken me forever to even mutter that it wasn’t my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not. I’m done being your puppet.
181 · Sep 2018
Snip ii
Dinodust Sep 2018
I slid the scissors underneath the threads

Then I cut them into two

Collected them

And casted them aside

Just like they did

To me
My friends say it’s unfair and I think I believe them
180 · Mar 2018
One sided love
Dinodust Mar 2018
I used to write letters everyday to someone
And I never got one back
I would wait by my mailbox every single day
But the mailman would walk past every single day

It was only when I stopped sending them
Is when I got one back
But it was full of hate and spite
Maybe this is how I should grieve

Now I’m packing up
And saying goodbye to all of your lies
Slowly
One by one
Bit by bit

I’ll be myself again

I’ll be able to breathe
I’ll be able to speak my mind
I’ll finally believe

That I’m worth a love
That will go
both
ways
Slowly learning not to hate myself
178 · Jul 2019
Untitled
Dinodust Jul 2019
All sickness is not unto death, neither am I
176 · Sep 2018
Snip
Dinodust Sep 2018
And with those words

The one thing that tied me to this place

Is gone

But my anger

Is still here

Clawing up my cervical

And tying me up

Tighter
And
Tighter
I wish I was dead
175 · Oct 2018
Hero
Dinodust Oct 2018
Guess I messed up
Guess I made a bad call
But I have no idea
What I could have done different

One little choice
One small action
One coincidence of thought
And the lights went out

I want to dance
Want to gaze at the sky
Want to take a picture
Of the end of the world

I never thought
Things really die
Not in real life, in real life
There’s no such thing as ghosts

I am not a hero
I am not a movie star
I am not a genius
I am not a monk
I’m not special
I’m the same as anyone else

You and I
We were always a mess
Drinking our bourbon
Screaming in the streets

When I saw you coming
Ice and rage in your eyes
I put on my armor and my shield
And sharpened my sword

I am not a hero
I am not a movie star
I am not a genius
I am not a monk
I’m not special
I’m the same as you

You
You were there too
You drove that train
Right through my heart

You
You were there too
You drove that train
Right through my heart

But I guess it’s time
To put that to bed
I guess it’s time
To let the dead be dead
Lyric and music by Dave Malloy. I decided to post this because I relate to this a lot. It’s such an emotional piece and Brittain (Rose) sings it with such passion. It’s such a good song, the first time I sang it I sobbed.
167 · Apr 2019
Empty
Dinodust Apr 2019
Nothing feels right

Nothing

Not an action or word

Anything I do

Nothing feels

r i g h t

I stare blankly at the ceiling

My throat burns

The lump is still there

The only thing that tells me I’m real

That I’m alive

The burning of medicine

Settling in my throat

Making it known

That I’m not normal

That I’ll always be like this

That I’ll cry

Hurt

For no reason

That I’ll never find anyone

To love me

I dig my nails into my palms

Nothing

No pain

And again

There’s nothing

And

I sob
I don’t know anymore.
165 · May 2019
Untitled
Dinodust May 2019
I don’t know how god thinks
But god do you love me?
Dinodust May 2018
Why do people lie to protect their image?

Why do they feel the need to be perfect?

This longing

This urge

This want

To be perfect?

They say they lie to protect their legacy

But

How can you protect something

That doesn’t exist yet?
154 · Feb 2019
Too Small
Dinodust Feb 2019
My bed is too small for my tiredness. As for my eyes are too small for my tears, they swallow my face in their sadistic way. Drip, drip, drop they sing in harmony hitting the floor; filling my room up. My floors are too small for my body, how it grows bigger and bigger and heavier and heavier. Until I can’t bare to move. My mind is too small for my thoughts, they tip over and flow and flow. As I lash out at myself and others. And as these things grow too small and the fluids pour out. My floors creaks beneath the weigh and I creak back.
I feel weird..
153 · May 2018
Green
Dinodust May 2018
I was painting

Definitely not a new action for me as an artist

The only new thing was
I was in a garage

Of a house that I used to live in
In an upperclass neighborhood

But the odd thing is

I didn’t care about the houses around me
Or the people

My eyes cut directly to the green
Of the forest miles behind them

And this longing
This aching
This urge

To run
Run to the trees
To join them
To be with them

To just drop

Everything

Everyone..


Part of me thinks it would be so easy

Just to run away

Leave everything so natural behind

But

Part of me

Is held down

By agape

And eros
147 · Apr 2018
You, yes You
Dinodust Apr 2018
you
are
what
you
Love

Not

who
loves
you
145 · Aug 2018
King of Zone Two: DEFEAT
Dinodust Aug 2018
hence nothing remains expect for our regrets
Off.
145 · Sep 2018
Untitled
Dinodust Sep 2018
The anger in your heart will warm you now but keep you cold in your grave
Thoughts
141 · Aug 2018
I thought I was clean
Dinodust Aug 2018
Don’t make me a liar

But I swear to god

When I did it

I felt nothing more
You’ve always been a sucker for dogs
139 · May 2018
Don’t
Dinodust May 2018
Don’t expect me to play fair

In a world like this

My innocence was stripped down at such a young age

So I’ll make you count to 1,000

That way I’ll have enough time to hide

If you move closer I’ll move away

I’ll pin down my soul

Pin down my mind

Pin down my heart  

But never my body

So don’t try to get into my arms with words

Don’t build me castles with words

Don’t try to win me back

I like you there

So stay right there

Don’t attempt to move closer

You won’t make it

Stay

Stay

Stay

Stay right where you are
Do you ever just have those days?
136 · May 2018
sometimes i want to die
Dinodust May 2018
Sometimes

Death seems right

Death seems normal

Death seems like a friend

Because death seems easier than dealing with the knife in my head

And now

Death is a weird accomplice

And I want to hold him close

While he whispers in my ear

“Embrace my attack, my dear”

But I don’t have time for that

I don’t have time to cheat on the person I love

As before

Death pinned me against the wall

And kissed my lips and nipped at my neck

I don’t have time for that

But

In the end

Death will come

And we’ll dance again
I’m dwelling on the past too much lately and “I’ve taken too many hits off this memory” has never been so real in my life
129 · Feb 2018
Fear
Dinodust Feb 2018
Did you lie?
About what you did to me
The abuse?
The ****** assault?

Did you lie to make yourself look good?
Then you make threats?
Because you’re mad that you couldn’t get to me?

I’m not your toy.
I’m not an object.
Just see me for me.
A person and not something to own or control.

Yes, I’m scared of you
Because now I truly see you
And not the mirror
I wish nothing happened..
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