I’m 20 with a bachelor’s degree
My dad’s the proudest of me
My sisters are smiling from ear to ear
Finished first, but why wasn’t I happy?

I’m 21 and I passed the exam
It was ruthless, getting to where I am
I was alone in the water but I still swam
Got all the awards and accolades, but ****

I’m 22, no work, no dream
All those times I was rowing on the wrong stream
Forgot who I was and where I’ve been
Now I’m lost and they all think I’m mean

Friends and family said I’ve changed
They said I’d turned emptier and strange
But they don’t understand, I’m not deranged
For a long time, from myself I was just estranged

I’m 23 and still trying to find myself
Lost some people and honestly, I’m okay
Still no job but I know I’m on the right way
I’m finally doing what I love and I don’t care what they say

It’s okay that you’ve forgotten
I know you and I had to end
It’s better we never see each other again
We’re too broken for anyone to mend

It’s okay that you’ve left
When I think of you, I’ve no regrets
I’m actually glad that you and I had met
I wish nothing for you but the best

It’s okay you’re happier than me
I’ve always been a lonely person, you see
But I’ll always wonder what you’re doing
How you’ve been and who you’re seeing

People ask me what happened
Why you left and where you went
Why my heart was closed and not open
I tell them things would’ve been worse if it wasn’t

No day will pass that I won’t miss
You’re perfect eyes and your kiss
But one day the clouds will turn to mist
And that’s when I’ll know I am at peace

I am burnout
Have nothing to talk about
Each minute my mind racing with doubt
But nothing seems to come out of my mouth

Today, I don’t have anything
Not a single idea I could bring
My heart is so numb there’s not even a sting
Maybe it’s better off to be just stopping

I know I don’t have enough talent
But this is the only way I can vent
To help my soul slowly mend,
Writing became my only friend

I wish I had more words to say
But my head is still swimming in gray
I need my mind to fly away
Because maybe then, my body will decide to stay

I hate where I come from
It’s not a somewhere but a someone
Despise the way they think they’re better than anyone
You’re blood is not something you have done

Funny how you think you’re on top
This world is not yours to mess up
You think you own me and my soul
Just because of your money and your gold

You’re pathetic and that’s all you’ll ever be
I feel sorry not for you but for your family
They’re minds have been deprived of humility
I pray that someday they’ll listen to this heed

Money, fame, fortune, they’re nothing
All that’s important is that you have that something
Something worth for you to be believing
Something you won’t find in the direction you’re heading

Life is more than what you could count
You’ll realize this when you’re money is out
When they leave you because of the things coming out of your mouth
And you realize by your own self you’ve been captured and bound

Those words that in my direction you’ve spit
In the back of my mind they still sit
You’ve damaged my heart into bits
You deserve everything coming your way, you ***

I saw you again in the summer of ‘17
You’re hair shorter than I remember
Honestly, I don’t know if it’s better
I wish I had asked how you’ve been

Everyday I wonder how you’re doing,
Or who you’re seeing
Wondering if you ever think of me,
And everything that we could be

Tonight I fell asleep with the jacket you gave me
Curious how it still smells like you
Two years since I last spoke to you
Why am I still crying over you

I know it’s messed up
I know I should move on
Tell me how I could stop
Tell me how the moon can give up the sun

Now that I’m out of the picture,
I’m sure you’re happier
I’m sorry I left
I’m sorry you left
I’m sorry you’re gone
I’m sorry you’re done

I hope on day I could forget
How good you’ve been to me when we met
How you told me I was your best friend
How you told me you hoped this would never end

I guess some things are better left unsaid
But there’s one thing I wish could leave my head
I want to tell you that I tried my best
To hide that I loved you more than you could guess

Two hearts connected by a string
Broken pieces perfectly aligning
It was a fairy tale beginning
Two people wishing for a happy ending

We were fireworks in new year’s eve
Everything was possible with you and me
Beyond the stars there we would see
Our future as bright as it could be

But one day, all of a sudden,
For some reason, you stopped coming
No words, no reason for a certain
Don’t you think I deserve an explanation?

Now, I’m just wandering alone
We used to walk together in the sun
Today it’s just me, on my own
Tomorrow I hope you’ll finally come around

I don’t care if it’s dumb
I’ll stay here and wait, no matter how crazy it sounds
Because you understood me unlike everyone
I’ll be right here in our corner, waiting to be found

Day to day, same old faces
Night to night, same old spaces
People moving as one
People thinking as one

A gram or two, doesn’t matter
They keep me alive and better
Better than most of you
No mind for themselves or anyone

In this town where the end is dead,
Thoughts are rather kept than said
It’s the reason no one escapes this town
But I’ll make a destiny of my own

One day I’ll walk away from all this
Go to a place where the sun never sets
Live there and never come back
Forget my ghosts and my past

I don’t need fame or money
No, what I want is to be happy
Live where smiles are free
Sleep where dreams are meant to be

Someday I’ll find that place
The place they call paradise
Maybe when I sleep tonight, I’ll find it
If I do, I know I’ll never wake up again