Blade Maiden

Sep 2018

Mike Hauser

I once had a glockenspiel
One I wish that I had still
Nothing to me is more real
Than the sound of a glockenspiel

I would take it to the streets
Where crowds would gather around me
Tapping toes and keeping beat
To the sounds of oh so sweet
I never charged a listening fee
Bringing pleasure to them and me
One thing we all lack yet need
In this world of Make-Believe
For a moment all too brief
At this point in history
There was comfort bathed in peace
Before I had to take my leave

I once had a glockenspiel
One I wish that I had still
Nothing to me is more real
Than the sound of a glockenspiel

Never had a glockenspiel, just love the way the name sounds so I thought I'd put it to poem ;0)

Sep 2018

Brandon Conway

Sometimes Pest are Right

Bottles of cheap bliss
drown out lugubrious sadness
replaced with bottles of ****
in this festering den of madness

at least there’s paradise in my poems
at least there’s a clean bed in my dreams
at least in those spaces I’m in your arms
at least I’m happy bathing in the moonbeam

surround by a fetid smell
with a lack of care for myself,
is my hunger even quelled
when there’s no food left on the shelf?

a roach skitters across a pile of clothes
my temporary friend that I confide in
he speaks, “Here is what I propose.
Stop thinking that you are a has been

get off your *** and clean this mess
unless you want more of my kin
stop ******* at the bottle is what I suggest
and have a little victory, a little win

you don’t have to live”

Squish

“Funny how you can survive a nuke
but not my tiny bare foot,
well you pest, there’s my rebuke
how’s it feel to be ground to soot?”

“What am I doing with my life?
Maybe the cockroach was right.”

#bottles #drinking #alcohol #alcoholic #cockroach #disgusting #hoarder #depression #dream

Blade Maiden Sep 2018

I tried to take the ocean home

I want
my heart on a platter
so I can see the ins and outs
Want the act to matter
See it mirrored, my mouth, it shouts

Feels like
standing in front of the mic
singing of losing track of time
remembering this certain chime

Means I
don't really know how to defy
feeling lost in the rubble
of uncertainties and trouble

I hide
behind buckets full of the tide
I filled when the ocean didn't look
all I could see I took

I keep
time in a place safe and deep
live inside a moonlit jar
an ocean filled reservoir
read my own memoir
and said au revoir

#self #memoir #ocean #hide #uncertainty #life #heart #anxious #scared #calm

Sep 2018

Brandon Conway

Stories

Stories of burning in the sun
fizzle out after a couple generations
Stories of salt filling our lungs
will outlast many civilizations

The sun burns quickly
like a brief moment of excitement
that wanes away while we search for
the next blazing hit

The sea pummels slowly
like a life of enduring and remiss
beating you down day after day wholly
until you sink into the abyss

#story #stories #sun #sea #burn #drown #endure #excitement #exciting #abyss

Sep 2018

Brandon Conway

Poem Rich

There is a light that likes to turn on
when I lay my head down for the night,
toss and turn with my dreams now forgone
no matter the yawn, this bulb is bright

not with so much as ideas but, words
and small phrases that I rearrange
that will fly away and cause me nerve
so I spread their wings, pin and arrange

their beauty captured and put in frame
so finally I can hit that switch
and try to win at this sleeping game
I will wake up in a few, poem rich

and so repeats the boundless cycle
capturing metaphor butterflies
in this restlessness bed of idyll
sleep late, wake early, a compromise

#idyll #butterfly #dream #sleep #sleeplessness #poem #capture #idea #words #compromise

Blade Maiden Sep 2018

Too true to be good

I know of
this exact thing I do
pushing people away from me
when I can't hide my insecurity
I say "am I wrong, I'm scared"
just to make them run away from me

I met so many
so careless
I'm sorry
So sorry
I have to be honest

My view is always a blur
constantly making me believe
in wrong ideas
my mind loves to perceive

And seeing how
sometimes they come true
against better judgement
I followed through
It makes me look like a fool
So what is there for me to do
than to think the same of you

"Get over it, we all hurt"
"Try to forget, don't be absurd"
"Maybe stop being so emotional"
"You could be more sociable"
If I could say how desperately I would
if there was a way to show I could
I thought being unapologetic
would be better than feeling pathetic
But it seems like either way
I'm the one that drifts away
Into this ocean of sickness
making me feel worthless

Though these thoughts
I hate the most
I fight feeling useless
I want to know my worth

Oh how I struggle to make them see
I'm not the words that come out of me
I don't want to feel anxious
I don't like to be sad
And I feel so pretentious
it might drive me mad

And how this thought
of losing my mind
sometimes seems
way too kind
Like such a relief
of a brain always screaming
almost a sort of dignity I could retrieve
thinking madness could be redeeming
Calming but terrifying all the same
For the bliss
would I really not care
to forget my own name?

#anxiety #mad #sad #worth #worthless #mind #brain #pretentious #sickness #insecurity