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Blade Maiden Sep 2018

I know of
this exact thing I do
pushing people away from me
when I can't hide my insecurity
I say "am I wrong, I'm scared"
just to make them run away from me

I met so many
so careless
I'm sorry
So sorry
I have to be honest

My view is always a blur
constantly making me believe
in wrong ideas
my mind loves to perceive

And seeing how
sometimes they come true
against better judgement
I followed through
It makes me look like a fool
So what is there for me to do
than to think the same of you

"Get over it, we all hurt"
"Try to forget, don't be absurd"
"Maybe stop being so emotional"
"You could be more sociable"
If I could say how desperately I would
if there was a way to show I could
I thought being unapologetic
would be better than feeling pathetic
But it seems like either way
I'm the one that drifts away
Into this ocean of sickness
making me feel worthless

Though these thoughts
I hate the most
I fight feeling useless
I want to know my worth

Oh how I struggle to make them see
I'm not the words that come out of me
I don't want to feel anxious
I don't like to be sad
And I feel so pretentious
it might drive me mad

And how this thought
of losing my mind
sometimes seems
way too kind
Like such a relief
of a brain always screaming
almost a sort of dignity I could retrieve
thinking madness could be redeeming
Calming but terrifying all the same
For the bliss
would I really not care
to forget my own name?
  Sep 2018 Blade Maiden
Brandon Conway

You chased
I ran
You yelled
I turned
You swung
I ducked
You huffed
I pushed

The back of your ankle caught
on the underside of a gnarly root

You twirled
I watched.
You screamed
I watched..
You bled
I watched...
You gasped at air
I watched....

The old jagged branch penetrated
through your squishy eye
and kissed the back of your skull
blood burst and squirted
while the rise and fall of your chest slowed
and your body grew cold

A rose bush was born amidst the clutches of an early winter

I left
You haunted
I cried
You permeated
I stayed silent
You spoke in my dreams

I know they found you
I visit and leave you flowers
But I am through,
I finally convinced myself
that it's not my
fault.
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
The wolves are hungry tonight
and so is she
her heart does know no fright
with her pack she longs to be

Under the bloodmoon
see her limbs grow
her feral body is to swoon
turning wolf into lady from head to toe

Her brothers and sisters sharp teethed
running with the winds of winter
in this cold and star-bright night they will feast
blood smearings in the snow look just like cinder

Hear her song howling through the air
all ice melts underneath her fiery feet
as they catch and bite and tear
lucky ones see her eyes before their demise they meet

'Tis the night of the hunt
benighted men will not run
shouting "Begone! Animal! ****!"
happily she devours them, flayed bodies in the morning sun

She's always lurking, lusting for your smell
Dripping wet her mouth with the juice of life
no one lived for the story to tell
of the wolf woman, dark wood's feral wife
  Sep 2018 Blade Maiden
Em MacKenzie
I’m on a road trip to a place called crazy
but my tank is empty and my windshield’s got a crack.
The lane’s are foggy and my vision’s hazy,
but I don’t give a single **** ‘cause I’m not coming back.

And the streets are dark and my headlight’s are broken,
My seatbelt’s fastened so tight that I am chokin’.
My tires are popped and my engine is burning
at the green I stopped but kept on learning.

I could never drive fast enough
to escape what’s left behind.
Admiring skid marks and envying every scuff
I’ll keep going even when I’m deaf and blind.

I’m on a road trip to a place called crazy
it’s settled in between “grief” and “regret.”
I’m sure a bus runs there, although I’m lazy,
and timing’s the only thing I forget.

And the streets are dark and my headlight’s are broken,
my speakers blew out, but there’s words to be spoken.
My brakes are shot and my signals are mixed,
it’s the only ride I’ve got, but it can’t be fixed.

And I’ll pass by landmarks on the side of the road,
but won’t stop for a picture, don’t want to waste a smile.
I’ve been riding the back of a trailer that cautions a heavy load,
I could pass it but I’ll stay behind for one more mile.

I could never drive fast enough
to escape what’s left behind.
I’ll keep going even though the road is rough,
I’ll keep travelling until I find my mind.
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