Do you think of me when you look at the moon
When you marvel at it's fullness and beauty,
Do you feel my absence?
Is my memory etched into your soul like you promised it would be?
For eternity?

Man it's been too long
I hope you made it into heaven
I gotta say though, that was a ****** thing you did leaving
I missed your funeral, I'm sorry i couldn't say goodbye
I mean i was there but i was too young to fathom the concept of death
How do you tell an 8 year old that you'll never see your father again
You put your wife in a really tough spot bruh!!

I know it dying wasn't on you but **** man!!
I was mad for a while but I understand
There's no rest like resting in the Lord
Wish i could tell you about this world you left me in
Your little girl is ok
Since i never got to, here is your ulogy man

Hey dad, your lil girl ain't so little anymore
I miss you, we all know little girls need their father
I gotta ask you, how'd you think this was gona play out
I needed you but not in ways you might think
You married you a superwoman man, that woman is resourceful
The only thing i lacked were memories of you

Your baby is all grown man, your wife did a banging job!!
I know i said dear dad but really, this is an appreciation for your wife
I miss you but she made sure i never missed the values you would have instilled
You married you a superwoman man, that woman is strong
She slipped into that dual role like she was born for it
I guess what I'm trying to say is
Out of all the gifts you could have ever given me, mum was the perfect gift

Hey dad, thank you for your choice of a wife
She's the greatest mother i could have ever asked for!
In the mean time, explore all the pretty places in heaven
You'll show me around

Your voice etches deep into my core
Caressing it with winter’s edifice of ice
It finds home in my heart
My heart beats to the rhythm of your sound now
A monologue amongst dialogues
Sound proves to be an analogue of unheard,
Sound is impervious
Yet you spoke a language of love like you know what it means
In a world of love, what is knowledge?
Do you know what you know?
Could reality be just a fragment of imagination?
I can feel your breath on my soul
Rearranging the very fabric of my being
You put me on the precipice of ecstasy
As the winds commands the forest into harmonious whispers
You command my attention, i oblige
Your gaze inspire me to fly
What is it about my soul that you love so much?
Your gaze pierce into me
You've searched deeper than i ever could
There's a chill to it that keeps me warm
Take me home
Holding me isn't enough anymore
Although comforting, i need more
I can't seem to touch you
I've kept the facade but proverbial is not enough anymore
Show yourself!

I have been broken
My arms around me
Trying to keep myself from falling apart
I am tired
I want to let me go
But I am terrified
Terrified that no one cares enough
To pick me up

There is a universe where a love you deserve awaits
Why do you hold on to the one that hurts you
Why do you stay where you aren't needed
Why do you force love where none exists?

I want to make you a promise
Let go
Walk towards a place that accepts your love as it is
Unfiltered, raw and magical
There is nothing as liberating as the freedom to be yourself

A world where the love you deserve does exist
Allow it to find you

I sit by my self
Talking to moon
Constellations crown me the Queen of Soliloquys,
The universe applauds!
Heaven is proud for i am who i am
On purpose and
Without permission!

It's hard to see the bigger picture if you're standing in the middle of it
Blinded by our senses
Complacency becomes us
It's the world we live in
A whole lot of black, a whole lot of white but mostly, a whole lot of grey
The greatest illusion is that yesterday, today and tomorrow are consecutive
That time is linear
We marvel at the vastness of what lies beyond our five senses
At the infinite possibilities beyond what we can't see
But cower at the evidence of things not seen
Chasing horizons becomes an unattainable obsession
My eyes are open but i never see what you're showing me
We're looking at the same picture but we have different images
I know you're speaking but i have no idea what youre saying
I'm listening but i can't hear you
I've often wondered how deep i could go if i dove into your soul
Your eyes are the magnet that draws me
I have loved you with a love that is frowned upon
I yearn for you with a desire that's fobbiden
I need you the way hell needs sinners
If love is pure, why is loving you so wrong?
I taste music on your lips,
Sweet melodies serenading my soul to slumber
I just need some clarity
What is life if I can't love?

I knew you were always going to leave from hello
You were not a mistake
You are not an experience i regret
I looked at you and saw my heart in so many pieces but i let you in
It was worth it
Loving you was a pleasure
Hurting was the outcome i did not deserve
I saw it coming and i was ok
Thank you for loving me when you did
Now I'll pick myself up
And find my next big heartbreak

Could nature be predictable?
The sun rises gently, caressing the clouds  
Hues of colour fill the skies  
Softly, gently, intentionally it navigates  
Earth response  
How about we focus on detail  
The smooth terrains  
Perfect perky mountains  
The sun kisses the mountaintop ever-so-gently  
They firm up like they're meant to be kissed  
Nature responds in sound  
The gentle mourning breath waking every strand  
Gently caressing  
Earth stands still and marvels of God's creation  
The private island with secret garden, what's a garden without butterflies?  
Slide in and move to the rhythm of the waves
Bust it wide and show off your moves
Pressure from the core sends waves to the shore  
The sound wakes every particle  
Ocean rises and falls  
Earth quakes and shakes while nature breaks into song  
Earth and nature together  
A sweet sweet release

I'm not just listening to words,
I'm also listening to the use of your words,
Your tone of voice,
The way your body moves,
I'm listening for those subtle ****** expressions you make,
I watch your hands and i watch your eyes.
I listen to your eyes
And i hear everything you don't say in words!

My eyes glistens and sparkles louder than the stars
They caress gentler that the morning breeze
And roar louder than the oceans
Flooding my soul with understanding
My tongue is soothing like the calm before the storm
It builds just as great as it annihilates
The very core of the universe quakes at the sound of my voice
Setting loose the forces of life
As the thirsty grounds are quenched
I absorb heartily
Discernment is my filter
I am a spirit and my life is a conundrum to many
I blow to and fro and many cannot fathom
My ways are a mystery
Call me Enigma

Soon as i peel my eyes open i hear it
I hear my heart vehemently beating against my ribcage
I shut my eyes tight but it beats louder and faster
I want to cry but my eyes are too stubborn to let any tear drop
I want to scream but i don't want them to think I'm crazy
I stare into nothingness hoping for it to stop
I am angry that i can't help myself
I am angry that i can't even cry
I am ****** that i allowed this feeling
My daddy used to tell me i was strong
You should see your little girl now daddy
Hurdled up in a corner imprisoned by thought and emotion.
Enxiety is a real *****!

It's been a long time since i smiled like this
I can feel my cheeks burning
My eyes glimmer with joy or is it joy
I don't know but i feel at home
The world is in peril and yet, you
You're the first person i thought of when i woke up
They say joy comes in the morning
I can finally relate
All your flattery has gotten to my head
And I think I'm floating
I know we just met
But I'm excited at what the future holds for us

The greatest human love you can receive today is self love.
To absolutely accept yourself for who and what you are
To rise above everyone's perception of you and just be.
To stand tall and be yourself in the face of society's expectation of who you should be
To show up for yourself when you need you the most
To be stronger for yourself like you've been for everyone else.
To say i am, get out and actually be.
To love yourself unconditionally because girl you deserve it!
Have you received this kind of love today?

The sky is no longer my limit!
Gravity will gravitate, I'll levitate.
Infinite possibilities on my fingertips,
i touch constellations and i canvas the galaxy
because you see eternity is my destination.

I stood at the doorway watching my life unravel
A decision panging to be made
Would it make a difference if i compromise myself for them?
How much of myself would i need to renounce for my compromise to be enough?
I stood at the edge of tomorrow holding on to yesterday because i fell in love with an idea
Tomorrow called but they said ideas are potentials waiting to blossom so i waited,
I'll just answer tomorrow, tomorrow.
Tomorrow came but i was still stuck in yesterday hovering over an idea that had long dissipated, hoping
Hoping that the more i water the idea it'll soon blossom but i found that watering a rock does not make it soft
So i stood in the middle of a crossroad wishing for my decision to make itself
It's be easier if decisions came with a manual and a preview into it's consequences
So many decisions but today,
Today I'll choose me

it was warm once
And it did bleed
but
it was left in the cold for far too long
by one too many people
and it froze.
Her heart is stone cold now

Babe let's go somewhere,
chase the horizons while sipping on the sunsets.
Let's just disconnect from the world a little bit
for the sole purpose of reconnecting with the universe,
forget ourselves for a little while
just so we can remember/find ourselves.
Eat ridiculously at odd times and fall in love with what makes us

I want to trace constellations with my fingertips on your back.
Feel your voice on my skin and taste forever on your lips,
To hold you and leave no space between our skin.
Let's just live on borrowed air and forget that the day needs to sleep,
I want everything about you

To the potent:
do not dilute yourself
just to avoid
someone's retroperistalsis,
those strong enough to hold you down
will take you as you are......
(neat

I wore my heart
on a sleeve for you
but you preferred me
in a sleeveless

The ability to be fragile and yet so strong, to be gentle and yet firm, to stand whole like you've never been broken, the stories your skin tells to those brave enough to hear it and the pictures your soul paints for the heart daring and deep enough to hold you #YouAreArt

I'm still working on it
I could say you are the sun, my sun
Beautifully bright, ever so true to yourself and everyone exposed to you. The one who gives meaning to my days, what is day without you?
But you burn, my skin cringes and my head pounds when you stay. I need you to but not all the time so i hide.
I am working on it
Maybe you are the moon, my moon
Subtle yet present, beautiful but you are forever changing. When i need the whole of you, you come only in fragments, still beautiful to look at but never enough.
I'm still working on it
My star? The way you illuminate my nights into a vision i want to behold for eternity. I'll be honest, you are the biggest reason i look forward to the night. You are everywhere, all over, how am i to focus if pieces of you are floating in different shapes and orientations. An abyss in a galaxy, a faraway orbit. Trust me that is the beauty i want but baby, i want you in your wholeness.
I'm really still working on it
You can be the sky, my sky
Ever present, consistently constant
I know the storms steal your beauty but you always come back, the sun tries to illuminate but you always stay true. The moon and stars overwhelm you with their grandeur, i love that it compliments you.
I worked on it and i think i got it
What do you think?

Your eyes
Correct me if I'm wrong
I caught you staring at me from across the room
Suddenly the room became smaller
You were right there next to me
Your warm breath on my neck
Your soft hand on my waist
You were ******* me
A thousand people between us
Your eyes
Correct me if I'm wrong
You held my gaze long enough to make me feel like I've known you all my life
I mean i do know you but not in this way
At this moment I'm at your core
It's not a maze but I'm lost therein
Don't you dare search for me, i wana stay
Your eyes baby, your eyes

Love is not a 2 way street,
you do not give love just because you are getting it back,
yours is to just give it!
Give it to the one who gives it back,
give it to the one who will trump on it,
give it to that one who doesn't know it's value,
give it even to that one who doesn't appreciate it and even more so,
give it to that one who doesn't deserve it,
just love.
Don't give love with a list of expectations attached.
Love because you can
not because you want to or you feel like it.
I'll let you in on a secret:
Love is not an emotion,
it's a choice
CHOOSE LOVE!

My very first hello was intentional, focused
You say i never gave you a chance, i just overwhelmed and took over
I was intoxicated, i still am
I saw the fortress around you but i refused to acknowledge, I'm relentless like that
Came into your shell and took over
Got into your sheets and dreamed well
I looked straight into your eyes and you held my gaze, baby I'M HERE TO STAY SO FALL ASLEEP
I watched your chest heave and your eyes lift
You say i drove you crazy but you were the engine
It's all very new so i act like a learner in the drivers seat, buckle up baby.
Butterflies rip apart my stomach
Euphoria took over my soul, you make me smile
I took a hit of you and now I'm high on life
You asked me what i want
We are still young for you to handle what i want but one day soon, when your mind nests in my heart and our eyes lingo suffice
For now I'll settle

Let's find healing where no pain can exist
I promise we won't fall
I've found us a place
An ascension beyond rules
Gravity gravitates, we'll levitate
It took me a while to realise,
Home is where you are
You are enough for me.
Let's move on together...

Her journey was inevitable
A travel Paragon
with endless destinations
and
the vehicle was her month.
I've often wondered
Do you pick people up
Or do you run them over?

To go back would mean dancing on the edge of mediocrity, I'd rather not. Let's not regale in reminiscence, just come with me, move on with me.

Stay.
If the skies turn red and the hearts turn cold
When you look up and hear a difference in rhythm
If your heart doesn't resound with the same passionate beat as it used to
May your eyes always remain, babe stay.
If the butterflies in my stomach leave and im not stirred by your voice anymore
If my voice isnt lascivious and echo passion anymore when i call your name
My heart will always love you, babe stay
Stay here with me
Through the cold summer nights and the freezing winter mornings
Through the ups and the highs or all that may contend against us
May your hope in us never waiver, prevail with me baby.
Stay.

You reached the depth of darkness and yet you still looked for a darker place to hide
You kept telling me of the meander and all the wrong turns you took, you feel lost
Sometimes you wonder if im the lighthouse or the storm but i promise you, my light will always shine
Just come home
You tell me you never had a home, just places you laid your head at night
What about my heart? You once told me that always felt like home to you, what changed?
You tell me it's because there is no hiding place anymore but you can't keep running from the truth
Darkness is not the best place to hide in if you are light.
Follow my light and you'll blend right in

My circle is actually a pentagon with a foundation touching the core of eternity and a pillar that wasn't made or created, my pillar was, is and will be. It's walls are words with no loopholes, the same words that pre-existed existence, brought light forth from darkness and loved unto death. My circle is a pentagon of eternity, immersed in the word and wrapped in love

I crossed the line
I swear it wasn't there before but looking back, i see it now.
Deep shades of i could love you defined with strokes of trust me, blended in with promises to catch me should i fall. I fell for you and you didn't catch me. Covered in ashes and flickering embers of what used to be a burning love, picking up pieces of my shattered heart from when i hit reality with my porcelain expectations and i could still swear it wasn't there before. But I see it now, the line i crossed, drawn and scribbled with my own blood on the edges of you can never turn back with what looks to be my own handwriting. **** it!

I'm all for the butterflies and ******* under the thick blanket of the night but when the sun rises and light illuminates, can you arouse and stimulate my mind to ******?

I fell in love with your colour,
The Hues of your laughter, alluring.
The Spectrum emanating from your eyes, seductive.
The aura of your scent, hypnotic.
Colour me you.

My heart ran rampage
and my mind a stampede in hopes of catching up.
The irony was that my rib, a cage that failed to tame my wild heart.
My mind pulpitated while my heart fought a psychotic breakdown,
how could this be?
You don't hold my hand tight enough anymore,
don't you love me anymore?
I drank from your cup and now i can't think straight.
You are my libation!

She just sat there.
Her eyes glassy,
that condition you get from staring for long.
She blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek,
her beautiful brown cheeks,
beautiful!
Good God,
she was beautiful.
Something about her vulnerability that struck me,
I enjoyed looking at her while she starred into nothingness.
My mind oscillated between what she must be thinking
and how she must be feeling about what she must be thinking about.
My mind,
a gyroscope spinning in orbit,
dizzy i realized,
i was she.

To mend the bridge bridged in Eden
His plan was encapsulated in one man, His only begotten son.
While He bled out, my cup runneth over
While His body was being broken, i was being made whole.
A sacrifice given
God commended His love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us
It is finished!
Body broken, blood shed, ghost given up
The beginning of the rest of my life
Consummation of salvation
The finished works at Calvary

How much?
How much do you love me?
After weighing my love on the scale of what i do right against what i did wrong,
what was left?
After quantifying the love i gave you the only way i know how to,
is it enough to purchase yours in exchange?
Am i enough,
will my love for you ever be enough?
After weighing the pro's and con's, subtracting my mistakes,
dividing it by the number of material things i own
and adding the money i earn,
does my total match your expectation?
What's the exception?
Will you still love me unconditionally or will you try to match it? 
How much is enough?

Im sorry
I should've but pride got in the way
A deep dark valley of when will you come back to me just standing there,
I couldn't see past it.
I'm sorry
I could've but selfishness got in the way
A mountain of you took me for granted kept growing,
i couldn't feel past it.
I'm sorry.
I would've but fear got in the way.
An effluvium of i deserve more blew,
i couldn't smell past it
I'm sorry
I must've but the crispy icicles of slander slithering out of your mouth severed my palate,
i couldn't taste past it.
I'm sorry
I wanted to,
i want to but the reticence of silence between us was deafening
but
I heard past it.
The nugatory inconsequential words you used to erode my life,
i heard them all.
I've been patient but the allegorical depiction of your interpretation of promise fazes me
I still love you but tell me this
Are all these obstacles worth it?

I went outside
so the rain could wash the tears
off my face,
except it wasn't raining
it was scorching hot
and
it wasn't tears rolling
but a vociferous chortle
of laughter roaring.
It's then i realised that
even when I'm sad
and i want to cry,
I'm happy!

In your mind you hold the power and in your heart are the muscles,
never in your fist!
May you find the courage to change the world with your mind and sustain it with your heart.
May you be as bold as the sun penetrating the depths of darkness and as gentle as it's rays reintroducing themselves to the delicate diadems of dawn.
May you find yourself and stick by you even if it makes the world uncomfortable and never conform to it's idea of acceptable except to God's. May love be your only ally and grace be your shield and armour.
May you never fall in love but walk in with open mind and heart and may you never forget that love is mostly a decisions accompanied by a series of emotions.
When you find her,
love her with heart and mind
and cherish her till rapture,
defend her with all your strength
and protect her with all might.
Above all else my dear son,
love, laugh, live.

Yours in anticipation of you
Your Mother

I could use words to tell you how I'm feeling at this exact moment in time but my hands hold the better expression.
The fumbled rhythm of my heart thumping beneath my ribcage is now my favourite melody, my every reaction is completely controlled by the look on your face.
Your eyes feel intrusive, i can feel them peeling off the facade i like wearing, exposing me.
I like that.
That i am totally naked for you and not ashamed of it.
I could stay here, with you, fully clothed and yet naked.

There is a melody in my heart that my mouth would not dare sing.
My mind,
in constant scrimmage,
tries to wrap itself around this conundrum.
The rhythm propels me to spit rhymes created by my heart lurching beneath my chest
but my tongue is still tied by your name gently caressing my tongue.
Sip, swirl and swallow.
My small eyes battled to stay locked to yours as i envisioned the rest of you,
i couldn't give it away so i turned and left.
Would you know it was you i speak of if you read this?

I got all these emotions
rummaging through my body,
i don't know what they are
but all i know is
i don't want them to stop
so i let myself feel.
I like them
but
the more i like them
the more i want them realised.
I go home
and i put myself in your mind,
an idea i had
to make you feel me
through your mind
except your mind was proverbial
and it was just my mind
in ruse of your mind.
The idea of you thinking of me
in the same capacity as i
cuddled me to sleep
where you came alive,
i could touch you.
I woke up
with my heart thudding
and my blood ravaging my veins
and i realised,
i slept with you on my mind again.