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1.5k · Aug 2023
Sun loves the Moon
Alex Aug 2023
when the sun loves the moon
the chase never stops
forever apart
the golden light
and the silver shine
never side by side
forever making colors dance in the sky
the warmth burns
and the cool chills
the world pulled between
forever in symphony
the never-ending love
will never fade or dull
but will never touch
forever longing for the inbetweens
where they are closer than they seem
1.0k · Aug 2023
Mother
Alex Aug 2023
I got it on my mind
what could I have done
back when I was young
what caused you to throw your love away
made your heart ache when you saw my face
how could I have made you love me
how could I escape the fighting
you hated when I started writing
you said
I wasn't allowed to feel that way
made me lose my heart
my will to live
my feelings slowly dissipated
left with nothing but an empty shell
I just couldn't feel anymore
couldn't see a future for me
my made living feel pointless
like my worth was nothing
what was that
to make a child feel
how was that right
how could you take that way from me
you didn't deserve me
you didn't have the right to do what you did
and I hope you one day live with that
live with the regret of what you did to me
knowing your only daughter will never forgive you
you will never see me again
not even at your funeral
because i have no good memories of you
you made sure of that
984 · Sep 2023
Creeper
Alex Sep 2023
Jeepers Creepers
heading your way
I may not drive
but i'll hunt your soul anyway
a delicious treat
worth the run
can't wait for the rush
it's going to be so fun
darlin you're not prepared
for what I'm going to do
It will be worth not making it out
Alive at least
cuz I know you'll be missing something
and it's going to be mine
so what will you give up
what will you trade for me
because honey I'm going to take it all
last thing you'll remember is the fall
surrounded by feeling
surrounded by something
why don't you come find out
cuz I'm going to leave you guessing
the suspense almost palatable
you will know what you truly desire
but who knows if I'll give it
but I will take something
whether you like it or not
the question is
are you brave enough
to face the unknown
966 · Jan 6
Poisoned love
Alex Jan 6
Your the reason happy family's make me cry
You had no love for me
It was all laced with poison and lies
Making me rethink any happy memories
Realizing how fake they were
You filled my childhood with lies and hatred
Only made me feel sadness and despair
Made me believe I was nothing
Just a disappointment
Not someone worth loving
Someone who would never be good enough
That deserved to be beat
I remember you bragging about it
You were laughing and telling your friends
how you put me in my place
Like it was an accomplishment
The fact you chased me when I tried to run
Pinned me down
And just kept swinging
Till I could barely breathe
I still remember the screaming
How much my head pounded after 
I could barely stand as I dragged myself to my room
Everything stayed spinning
I was nauseous for days
But my hair was so thick you couldn't see the bruises
And the blood washed away 
I think it was summer so no one could have noticed
I tried telling family, they just said it was discipline
I should quit winning, it's not like I was actually beat....
One one who did believe me told me to shut up
At least I was lucky to still have a mother....
Just remembered to much today....
948 · Aug 2023
The Sparrows Fall
Alex Aug 2023
There was once a weak little sparrow. She has yet to learn to fly, so she fell out of the nest. Little did she know it would keep her alive. In a small stream she drifted on by as the other creatures burned alive, a fire engulfed the forest she once called home. It nipped the edges of the stream burning her wings, as time went by the fire died leaving the entire forest in ash. A lone witch searched the forest with tears in her eyes for any signs of life.
Only to find a lone little bird, barely clinging to life, desperate to survive. So the little witch took the little sparrow home, trying to save its life. Her wings were badly burned, and she would never be able to fly. The witch did what she could and kept the bird alive, but as time went by the sparrow grew sad. Knowing everything was gone, and she was alone as she looked at the burned forest.
Then the little witch had an idea, to try and turn the sparrow human, so they wouldn't feel so alone anymore. She didn't see the agony that would cause the sparrow, and never expected the burn scars would stay. So the little sparrow was turned human, well mostly. The witch has to teach her how to be human, which took many years. Eventually they lived comfortably, enjoying each other's company, but good things never last.
Someone from the nearby village saw the little witch and her small hut. They were suspicious of her, hating anything different from them. They looked disgusted by the other one, the sparrow didn't look like them. Not only that, but they hated the witch and chained the sparrow, forcing her to watch as they burned the witch. They studied the odd girl, wanting to know what she was, why she was different. The torture seemed to never stop, till she finally broke, harnessing the witches power and the life of the ancient forest that was burned. The ancient forest where she was born was burned by the villagers and the magic went into the little sparrow, hoping she would survive.
She went into a fury, slaughtering the village, leaving nothing left of the ones who tortured her, burned her only family alive and destroyed her home. She when she finally calmed, she was on the mountain overlooking the dead forest and decimated village, realizing she was truly alone.
A cute little short story I did for a character backstory
904 · Sep 2023
Toxins
Alex Sep 2023
Something has been eating me alive
and it's coming from within
when did it truly begin
when did it start eating away
what's the cause of this decay
my insides are in disarray
out of place
some things missing
slowly filling with the void
an empty replacement
fulling with darkness
it won't stop spreading
is it truly from within
or did you infect me
pierce me with your toxin
to slowly eat away
making me useless
so I can't fight your words
your toxic hate
breaking me down
piece by piece
destroying who I was
and what I could be
but your gone
I have begun to heal
but it's hard to replace what you've taken
what you destroyed
sometimes I can still taste your poison
I know ill never forget
what you did
the pain I felt
but I can be better
I WILL be better
I can make it out alive
I can heal
no matter how hard you tried
I'm still alive
859 · Oct 2023
The biting cold
Alex Oct 2023
I feel the bones
cracking in my toes
every thing aches
the joints are stiff and sore
hurts so much it's hard to ignore
I just want to curl up on the floor
just stop the cold from creeping in
I feel the icy chill on my skin
my bones ache
my skin is flushed
as the cold seeps in
nipping at my warmth
draining my energy
why did you have to set so soon
it to early for these low numbers
too early to freeze
but you're never ready
no matter how much you prepare
the cold will always bite
and slowly eat you away
854 · Aug 2019
Ocean Fall
Alex Aug 2019
Close your eyes
Take a step
Let it go
Let it flow
Just let go
As you fall
From the cliff
You are no longer stiff
For the ocean will catch your fall
As you end it all
Listen to the sea
As you forget to breathe
And just let go
Let the emotions flow away
They won't be there the next day
When you wash away
To somewhere better
Somewhere unknown
813 · Aug 2023
Sea Breeze
Alex Aug 2023
baby, there's no need to go outside
let the rain keep you in my arms tonight
baby please
can't you see
just how happy you make me
hold me in your arms tight
let me dance around ya
grab a few drinks with me darlin
take a walk in the moonlight
goin down to the ocean
let's go enjoy the sights in the dead of night
feel the sand beneath your feet
hear the ocean around us
let me take your hand
while we start dancing in the sand
the sea breeze cooling our flushed cheeks
the moon reflecting in your eyes
as we enjoy the night
finding peace in each other's company
drinking on the beach and dancing by the ocean with someone
689 · Aug 2023
Fly Away
Alex Aug 2023
I had a dream
that one day
that I could just fly away
cause baby your not making me stay
sitting like a stagnant river
making my heart dampen
and shiver
feeling like I'm drowning
stuck in these feelings
please let me go
let me fly away
let me be free
so we can both live
and be happy in our lives
together we will drown
I'm tired of bringing each other down
slowly sinking to the bottom
let go before we break
please
we can come back up
you have to let go
before the oxygen goes
this isn't worth drowning for
I'm not worth drowning for
darling, please let go
415 · Sep 2018
Im not okay
Alex Sep 2018
No one ever asks if i'm okay
But when they ever do i say i'm fine or good  
I lie through my teeth
i'm fine
Even though im really not
I don't want them to worry about someone like me
I stay in a haze of lies
When i try to escape i get pushed back in
Every word cuts through
It's like putting salt in a wound
Say something stupid, something distracting
Or leave it alone and don’t say anything
I see all the shadows passing by
But i keep my head down
In fear i might break down
I might be losing my mind
I’m already haunted inside
I can't say anything
There's nothing to say
Im speechless
To afraid to ask for help
373 · Oct 2018
Failed
Alex Oct 2018
there's a Funeral in my Brain,
I think i am going insane
The Mourners went to and fro
Not knowing where to go
While the mourned stay and flow
having no where else to go
Some Kept threading through the holes in the walls
The holes in me brain
The sense was gone
like a Drum
They started beating and beating
till I thought My mind was going numb
And then I heard them break the wall
And crack across my Soul
With the blood seeping through
The Space began to toll,
Growing heavy on my soul
A ringing started
And i all started to fade
The bright light was going away
The Wrecked, solitary, was back
And then a Plank in Reason, broke,
And I dropped, down, and down
And hit the floor,
It didn't work
The light is gone and i'm still here
Still wanting to disappear
313 · Aug 2019
Happy
Alex Aug 2019
I sat atop that ocean wall
Just wanting to end it all
Wondering how far the fall
Then I heard the ocean call
Late at night
Couldn't see a thing
Wondering what this would bring
I heard her there
Standing where I could not see
The one I wanted for eternity
I knew she was not there
But that did not cause despair
I let my eyes close
For I stepped into the dream
For the reality I couldn't see
The one with just you and me
As I jumped into the sea
Finally happy
298 · Aug 2019
The void
Alex Aug 2019
The call of the void
A pleasant whisper
Saying sweet nothings
May I head the call
And let go of it all
So peaceful
So tempting
To just fall
To feel nothing and everything
To float and sink
To grow and shrink
The call is a tempting one
That I often dream of
To be at peace
And feel no pain
Almost sitting in the rain
The call is a simple dream
That makes me no longer want to scream
To let go
To let it flow
229 · Jan 2022
Morning
Alex Jan 2022
it's raining, it's pouring
it's four in the morning
the thunder rings as the man is snoring
it wakes him up and out of bed
till he slips and hits his head
there was no real warning
when he falls and the sheets turn red
it won't be long and he'll soon be dead
his family will be in mourning
but for now, they won't see
that he has gone missing
how long will his body wait
will it begin to dissipate
all we know is it's too late
to say those final goodbyes
no matter how hard they try
they can not turn back time
213 · Aug 2019
Run away
Alex Aug 2019
I was raised in a loveless silence
Many days filled with violence
With no on by my side
I grew up wide eyed
In the shadow I couldn't see
What was truly missing
Not knowing what was supposed to be normal
Not knowing love
Or affection
Just being alone
All on her own
That little girl
That was forgotten by the world
And raised herself in the dark
Not knowing the true light
Not knowing love
She couldn't trust anyone
Not even herself
The things she saw
What she heard
Would break any child
And she lived believing it
It was normal to be broken
By the ones supposed to protect her
And help her grow
She couldn't get away
Until the one day she ran away
213 · Oct 2018
Pure Silence
Alex Oct 2018
I felt as little as a mouse
in that smoke-filled house
Hiding away all day
I knew it wasn't okay
So i got fed up and ran away
And called the feds that same day
that life had been run astray
The condition getting worse every day
Every day She grew less and less okay
It was all starting to fade away

I started forgetting
i fell through the netting
I got hung up in pills and drinks
And almost going to the shrink
They say just stop and think
But thats all i did
That's all i do

I sit and think
How much i want it all to go away
How bad i want to disappear
I just don't want to be here
I want to go away
I want it all to stop
Just silence
The quiet bliss of nothing
finally ending my suffering
peace and quiet
Pure silence
163 · Sep 2018
A new friend
Alex Sep 2018
Its cold and damp September day,
The kindred flame I'll long remember.
I crossed her path & she crossed mine,
The spark we shared was so in line.
A close encounter,but nothing serious?
I'd think i would  never have a chance
but she had me curious.
The tension built 'till she talked ,
as warm embrace, my fears were subside.
All the while my stomach in knots,
we cleared the air & shared our thoughts.
Talk of our pasts, and our flaws
The hopes for future built to change.
Face to face, our eyes spoke words,
reading minds, beyond what's heard.
I could use a nudge,and she's not one to judge.
beer cans & shots of whiskey, holding hands
She opened doors, established trust.
One more dose of nerve eraser,another first, another chaser.
We walked along, enjoyed the view,
talked and laughed,
Alone at last, where to begin?
we drank some water, cooled the fire.
I dreamt for more,
was not prepared to close this door.
In morning light, our eyes would meet,
It was so nice to share a meal, too new friends.
I hope again, her eyes I'll gaze.
When I felt lost, inside myself,
I found my way to her and she found her way to me
158 · Sep 2018
The Echo
Alex Sep 2018
All i can hear is the sound
That echoes in my head
It's full of darkness
I'm straining to reach
To escape
The light on the surface,
light on the other side
i feel the pages turning
As i write what happens in my mind
The candle of time is burning down
My time is running out
As the wax starts to spread
my hand weakens
And my eyes fall
I can write no more
I have lost my strength
I will soon be gone
When the light of the candle stops flickering
And the ink turns red
I will soon be dead
157 · Nov 2018
Pawn
Alex Nov 2018
If you think about life
Isn't it truly insane
You're thrown around and broken
Cracked and mended
You are either a pawn or a player
We all have different roles
Some are known while others are not
The roles may be changed or just be forgotten
Nothing is absolute
It's full of lies and so few truths
It all seems so absurd
Every death is so minor
Every life is meaningless
We will all die in the end
and eventually, the memories of us will fade  
Some make differences
While others don't and die trying
Many dwell on the past and judge
Few look and accomplish in the future
No one can change the past
Only how you remember it
Memories can easily be altered
Feelings can change
And no emotion is absolute
Alex Sep 2018
She was 13 years old, when her life changed
Still unknown if it was for better or for worse
All she knew was that it hurt
It made her feel as low as dirt
Everything began to fall apart
It all started that night, so afraid, so scared
She didn't want to feel the pain anymore
Frozen she couldn't help she couldn't protect anyone
The sreams repeat over and over
She cant forget, it hurts to much
The memories filled with so much pain and misery
That night her world came crashing down
Father had a little too much to drink.
And mom didn't want her to feel the pain she felt.
But she still felt the pain…
She will always feel the pain
For a year that night kept repeating itself
Then he was gone and mom looked for love in other men
And she tried to act strong
broken hearts and scars in places only she could see
Cause she just wanted, she just wanted to feel something
“When will everything be okay again”
The question that is asked over and over again every day
150 · Sep 2018
My sweet torment
Alex Sep 2018
There's No point in fighting,
  As it starts again
I'm only but a meaningless being
I'm a bit troubled as I wander alone
My last dance
To forget my own misery
I want to get away, everything to just start over
I hear the noise, I run and I'm afraid
Is this my turn?
Here comes the pain
I abandon myself
Nothing but hope
On this road of absence
Try as I might, my life is nothing but a meaningless shiny decor
For Whose offences have i paid in full
See how my heart is broken
For i have been shattered
I'm a child of the world that has been broken
And soon to be replaced
149 · Aug 2019
Why
Alex Aug 2019
Why
The way you said goodbye
Reminds me just how to cry
Why do you lie
Why can't I sleep
I wanna forget you
with all my might
And the way I felt that night
I fell so hard for you
I just don't know what to do
But to push it aside
Push it way
Forever more
Now that you opened that door
147 · Aug 2019
Sleep
Alex Aug 2019
Takin pills
Trying to sleep
Because I overthink
I wanna drink
I wanna waste it all away
Just wanna forget today
Just wanna be okay
But hey
I'm just gonna sleep it all away
And deal with it another day
145 · Oct 2018
Broken armor
Alex Oct 2018
She was a maker and a breaker
She broke the hearts that once broke hers
What they did was just absurd
They left her down in the dust
As she drowned in tears she began to rust
She became stone cold
Her heart was cold and hollow
Cold and rusted
The sharp metal cut
The armor that coated her heat was broken
Old, sharp and rusted
For her heart had finally busted
For she is hollow and broken
She has drowned in her own tears
She lays breathless and lifeless
She is gone
For it cut too deep
The shattered armor that once protected
Killed her
She is gone
And will never return
137 · Sep 2018
When Can I say Goodbye?
Alex Sep 2018
I don't have the strength for another day
I’m so tired, I just want to sleep
I wake up every morning feeling so cold
I can't plan the day ahead like it's supposed to be
But life is so hard, its making a mess of me
I just can’t walk the path that's been made
Am I destined to be alone
Everyone keeps leaving me
What did I do wrong?
I’m so sorry
I realize that sometimes i go to far
I wound up on the floor with a razor down my arm
Catching myself in the nick of time just mumbling to myself
"Am I willing to die, let them win, and leave everything behind?"
I’d rather die than keep on fighting
So they can just wonder why
I’d rather take my own life than be alone and alive.
I’m saying my goodbyes
God knows i've tried
I guess im willing to leave it all behind
No one looked out for my best interests
Happiness?
**** that, it cost me this
It caused me so much pain
Hurt me every time you took that risk
So yes, I cut
I cut all the way across the wrist
I’m caught pretending, and imagining in my head
that I can finally cut so deep that I can't stop bleeding
I admit it It's my own fault, i've learned my lesson
135 · Sep 2018
Daydream
Alex Sep 2018
I barely made it through the day
They almost found out im not okay
They say I have to follow through
How do I live my life?
Do I have to do this tomorrow too?
Do I have to get out of bed to do what I don’t wanna to?
Everyday I try act all happy
But the facade is starting to fall though
I give up, I give up on this life
Suicide is my last resort
An option I don’t want things to end to
Lately I feel so suffocated, restless, and irritated
I hate it, I can't take it
I thought there'd be more to life
Sitting on my bedroom floor with doors locked
while I hold a bottle
Maybe the pills will finally end my pain
I tried once before, and I got so close
So tell me what's more to life
Tell me again that I’m not good enough for life
Tell me will my story has a happy ending
And my future is mostly bright
Right now, the only light I see
Is at the end of the tunnel
Am I Daydreaming
129 · Sep 2018
The hanging Tree
Alex Sep 2018
Seeing the moon so high made everything look small,
But from the cliff she could see it all,
one dead oak tree standing tall
They had all left, the family was gone,
there were no friends to speak of,
she hung there alone in the silence,
in front of the beautiful moon lit sky,
She saw the beauty in everything,
but herself
the night was dark and the moon was high,
lighting up the sky shining upon the lifeless body,
In the hanging tree
128 · Oct 2018
All connected
Alex Oct 2018
We are born to be changed and molded like clay
like rivers through mountains
it all takes time
some longer than others
yet one is not like the other
they may be similar but all differ
there's never two of the same piece
yet each is tangled in the lives of another
some crack and shatter
others grow and flourish
some grow bright
and others stay dull
or they may radiate darkness
many have two colors
choosing neither side
or constantly switching in between
many have two faces
one shown to the world
yet another kept private
we all contain the same roots
they all connect and intertwine
some rot and die sooner rather than later
some just fall in an attempt to survive
127 · Sep 2019
Abode
Alex Sep 2019
Welcome to my humble abode
Let go of this anger you hold
Tell the story that needs to be told
How can you be so cold
It only grows as we grow old
I don't believe what I've been told
Your lies can not be sold
You dare to be so bold
For I will not fold
Your heart is not made of gold
I know you just want to be hold
This act of yours is growing old
And my heart is growing cold
127 · Aug 2023
Siren
Alex Aug 2023
a kiss from a siren
gonna make me drown
I can feel my heart waver
and start to drag me down
I feel you taking my breath away
leaving me with no hopes of escape
your lovely lips are keeping me sane
as the light starts to fade to grey
a lovely voice with such temptation
who cares if it leads to damnation
the kiss of death would be worth it
as long as I can feel your love
122 · Aug 2019
Sign
Alex Aug 2019
I saw the flashing lights
Ignored the warning signs
I let the world burn
As I closed my eyes
And walked away
Not caring about today
Or tomorrow
Or ever
Because it just won't matter now
For better
Or worse
What's done is done
122 · Sep 2018
Inside the mind
Alex Sep 2018
If you knew what lies deep inside the mind of those you see,
would you still keep them company,
for what you may truly find,
inside their soul are secrets they will forever hide,
beneath the dirt, among the worms
are things buried deep inside,
consumed by darkness they will hide,
once you see the darkness will you try to find the light,
or will you try to escape with all your might,
because you found the worst in me,
now you see where I truly hide,
behind the poker face full of lies    
your harsh words chew at me,
as you wash your hands clean
is it really that obscene
that i can see in between the lines you weave
all the lies you keep telling me
121 · Sep 2018
LIFE
Alex Sep 2018
L-iving in fear or in hope that you might wake up to see another day.  
I-t may not be lived to the fullest, but may be cut short.
F-ull of opportunities some taken and some lost.  
E-motional it can destroy you in many ways.
121 · Sep 2018
Broken
Alex Sep 2018
Her heart was once full and pure
Filled with happiness and joy
But one day it became empty and dull
She was broken
Her once bright eyes have become a void, To hide the true feelings inside
Her life has become full of fake smiles and lies
Most days it's hard to look in the mirror
Ashamed of the scars that tell the stories,
that want to remain untold and hidden
She finds herself with tears in her eyes without reason
For the voices inside the mind make her want to run and hide
Her mind has become a scary place
she never knows what to decide
She was one full of energy and was ready to live her life
But now she has become tired and weak
Now she doesn't even want to wake up in the mornings
She doesn't want to be alive
She had no one she was completely alone with the demons in her mind
They have finally won
She's numb, she feels nothing now
She is no longer alive, today was her final day
But no one was there for her, they all left
They ignored the signs, the cries for help
119 · Aug 2019
Scream
Alex Aug 2019
Im just some girl the world forget
Left in her own mind to rot
Her mind was so distraught
She couldn't think a single thought
Instead they all swarmed around
All trying to make her drown
She couldn't hear a single sound
As much as she tried screaming out
The voices inside won't go out
Leaving her to cry inside
Not even safe
from her own mind
Everything just wanted her
To
Die
118 · Sep 2018
Silent Slumber
Alex Sep 2018
No one is present in this peaceful and quiet place

The pale blue sky reflects off the morning dew

A large open space where many rests

With the morning horizon shining upon them sowing the beauty

So many untold stories that may never be heard

Flowers and gifts placed where they rest in memory

Some shall wish for them to return

Many animals come and dwell in this quiet place

Time flies by when you look at the sky, which sometimes causes to wonder why

Some grieve, others pay their respects, but all have known the same pain

You can smell the fresh flowers on the newly passed

Each place was like the other but was never the same

Some visit with anger in their hearts which soon turns to grief

For each residence shall never leave for their slumber may last forever
117 · Sep 2018
The Past
Alex Sep 2018
When it's the past that prevents you from moving forward
So nothing can get better only worse
It feels just like a curse
Breaking you down from the inside
Building up the walls to keep others out
No one will forget the mistakes you made in the past
They don't care who you are
They only care who you were then
They make you want to change
To hide away in fear
When you really just don't want to be here
Breaking down every night
Not even wanting to fight
You lost your strength
You lost your hope there's nothing left
Just empty silence
you're all alone
They all left you
There's nothing left
There's nothing there
you are left in despair
And no one cares
116 · Sep 2018
Empty seats
Alex Sep 2018
So many empty seats to go along with an empty heart
sitting all alone with no one left
it hurts inside as the tears start to fall
for she if falling herself, falling into the darkness of her mind
wanting to leave everything behind
wanting to just end it all, no one will be there
no one will care for the seats remain forever empty and her heart will never be full,
so don't wonder why,
if I suddenly die, no pain will be felt,
no trouble will be caused,
just another mere life that came to a early end.
116 · Nov 2018
UNKNOWN
Alex Nov 2018
just trying to stop all the thoughts running through my head
they all seem to want me dead
I just want the silence
the peace and quiet
I feel like I'm going insane I can't keep it under control
I'm starting to lose myself my soul I can't keep my thoughts under control
I wanna die
I wonder if ever will stop
the pain inside
where it all hides
all the thoughts reside
can I please just run an hide
can I drink it all away
to finally feel okay
to hush the voices inside my head
I see their lies and they still hurt me
I don't know anymore so just please let me die
114 · Sep 2018
Where im from
Alex Sep 2018
I am from sleepless nights,
From the daily struggles,
I am from places none shall wonder,
From fear of what may lie,
I am from the pen and ink,
From the thoughts they think,
I am from a place unknown,
From the dark truth,
I am from many worlds and many times full of epic battles and dramatic deaths,
From thy nose being buried in a book,
For most shall hide from the darkness that lies inside
114 · Sep 2018
Alone
Alex Sep 2018
You're all alone,
You're on your own,
There's nothing you even own
have you gone blind,
Have you forgotten what's inside your mind
A Glass half empty, a glass half full,
So don't go thirsty
So count your blessings, not your flaws.
You've ******* got it all,
You lost your mind in the sound,
It's all just a hazy cloud
There's so much more
so go reclaim your crown,
You're in control,
You got a soul
So Rid of the monsters in your head,
Put all your faults to bed,
Do you not get what all this is about,
Are you too wrapped up in your self-doubt,
You've got that young light, so set it free.
There's method in the madness,
But no logic in the sadness,
You can't gain a single thing from misery,
Take it from me.
Im still working on this one i got bored in class...
109 · Aug 2019
Door
Alex Aug 2019
Every hour on the hour
Maybe so much more
Don't cower on the floor
Open up the ******* door
To the world you wanna explore
Finding so much more
Finding someone worth fighting for
So living won't be a chore
As long as you open the door
108 · Mar 2022
replaceable
Alex Mar 2022
How was I supposed to know
That you were hurting me so
You were the only one I had
you knew that I had nobody else
yet you still ripped my heart out
after so many years I gave you everything I could
I gave you my time my money and even my heart and yet you just threw it away
I just realized now that you're gone and you did nothing for me
I was just way too **** desperate for companionship so I let you walk all over me
and I thought it was genuine I thought you really cared
I didn't realize that you were never there
when I needed you what was I supposed to do I felt all alone then you got mad when I was sad and said how your stuff mattered more than me
I put aside everything for you
I would cancel my plans if you called I would do anything at the drop of a hat just so I can make you stay I put all of my own things out of the way I put you above myself because I had nobody else
I did everything I could how was I supposed to know that you would throw me away like that
That one day you would just drop me like a rock in the ocean just drift away like I was nothing
one day we were hanging out and having fun then the next day you blocked me I don't know what I did or what happened
but you have no idea how much it hurt
You said you wouldn't be like everybody else
You said you would stay you said I was important to you you said I meant something to you
But I guess that all was a lie
you weren't even there when I almost died
It was then I realized I'm truly disposable and replaceable
That no matter what I'll do I'll never be good enough I'll never have the right stuff to stand by someone's side
108 · Sep 2022
I'll be okay
Alex Sep 2022
Oh honey it's going to be all right
Can't I be by your side tonight
Just asking in the moonlight
You don't have to be alone
You're the only love I've ever known
You can't break my heart
it's set in and Stone
I hope you know
You don't have to fight your battles alone
With me you always have a safe place to call home
In this world we're all alone
It beats you down and roughs you up
Until eventually you give up or stop giving a ****
But it's different for everyone
no one should have to fight alone
So we meet people along the way
that eventually help make us okay
So can you let me be your safe space today
I'll let you go out and play
even if you don't come back another day
As long as you end up happy and okay
That would simply make my day
You may not be around but I feel you in my heart
Sometimes I think back to the very start
I don't know what I could do that could make you stay
but it's okay
Maybe for you it's just another day
I didn't quite expect you to go away
I'll be okay
I hope I'll be okay
With just being another day
108 · Jun 2022
Never again
Alex Jun 2022
They called you up
You let them in
They betrayed your trust
So never again
Will you let them in
Your walls stand tall
Above them all
You won't let them be
broken again
They broke you down once or twice
But never more
That's enough to shove them out the door
They aren't worth breaking for
107 · Mar 2023
Somehow
Alex Mar 2023
I'm falling apart
breaking into pieces
so tired of these lies
walking on thin ice
living off distractions
always scared of your reactions
making me flinch at every action
It's too late now
no chance of redemption
anxious every time you're mentioned
I just wanna live my life
where you are not in sight
so I can have peace of mind
but the memories stay
more than I can handle
so until they fade
please stay away
It's too late now
no telling how
but ill make it out
somehow
107 · Aug 2019
Loved
Alex Aug 2019
I see you standing there
With the wind blowing through your hair
I watch from the shadows and fall for you again
My heart sings deeply for you  
Oh how I miss you
Oh how my heart aches
for you
What you are
What you were
What you will one day be
But never mine
So I forget
my thoughts
my feelings
But never how much I loved
Even though you may never know
106 · Sep 2018
I cant do it
Alex Sep 2018
I really cant commit suicide
But I’m okay with dying
All of the times I end up crying
Seems like my eyes are never drying
I’m so lost, I don’t know who I am anymore
I’m trying to find them
They go by a different name and face
Writing and poetry helps us both and hurts like hell
I know I complain a lot
But i hide more than you think
I just wish things were a little easier
It's hard for me to do things
Sometimes I just cant move
I just cant Breathe
Some days I feel so strong and happy
But by the time the night comes im breaking
I’m so tired
. Is it wrong that I want to rest?
Is it bad that i just want to drop the phone?
Now that I feel I’ve done my best, I’ve left a message at the tone
Is it wrong to feel so alone
I’d rather die than keep fighting
And they can wonder why.
Why is everything so hard
I’d rather take my own life than be alone and alive.
106 · May 2022
Fuck You
Alex May 2022
You ******* idiot
you ******* coward
you ******* gambler
you aren't going anywhere
this path will only lead you to despair
As you burn yourself right to the ground
It's your own **** habits that keep you this far down
You better stop before you dig yourself deeper
You've already taken and lost everything
You abandoned me, yourself, and your peers
Chasing your own selfish desires
What did you expect to hear?
I told you the truth
If you kept this up everyone would disappear
I thought that's what your ******* feared
I sure as hell know I didn't deserve it
what made you think any of that was okay or acceptable
nothing would make the **** you did worth it
did you lose your self-respect and manners
your not the person I remembered you to be
Maybe if you just listened to me
We would have avoided this ******* misery
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