Can I skip ahead in line, please?

Surely You can see ..

Plans haven't been going as planned
I've been roaming endlessly  

I need not to say my goodbyes
They've waived me that dance, You see -

I tried jumping out of Earth last time
But I just fell back into the seas

It's like swimming in oceanic galaxies
Suffocating on infinite catastrophes

Just as my head reaches the surface
The heavens collapse over me

They say I know nothing of my tears -
Nor of the world I sense or feel

So they caged me deep within their ribs, You see -
They claim it is safer in here ..

My breaths are only fading, inside
My eyes have not the strength to seek -
The light on the other side of their flesh -
Of their flesh in which they buried me

So I have been roaming endlessly ..

Wounded. Lost. Cannot breathe ..
Befriended by tears. Blinded. I know not of sleep

I see souls in a queue not ready to leave;
They have exhales from inhales yet to be breathed

But I'm just an ink-less broken feather
Over papers I weep
I cannot write down my sorrows
But I'm sure, You can see ..

I'm ready to die oh Lord!

Can I skip ahead in line, please?

Although the world is ****** and I'd rather leave than stay,
There are many things I'm thankful for on this fine holiday,
Today I'll talk about people and things,
That make life a little more worth living,
These people and things remove all the stings,
Of pain I'm taking daily and giving,
A little more will make a bigger change,
Time for my attitude to rearrange,
Temporarily so I can say nice stuff,
Time to begin, that intro was enough,

I'm thankful for Skyrim through Arena,
I'm thankful for my mother Kristina,
I'm thankful for Toontown and its trolley,
I'm thankful for my lil' sister Zoe,
I'm thankful for all the love that one stole,
Cause now she will have a small part of me,
I'm thankful for my step-father Joel,
I'm thankful for TV shows and movies,
I'm thankful for this superb holiday,
So I can easily spread all my thanks,
I'm thankful for little tiny JJ,
And sometimes all of his crazy high jinks,
I'm thankful for pouring out whiskey, gin,
And other alcoholic beverages,
I'm thankful for the removal of sin,
And Jesus deciding what leverage is,
I'm thankful for my ancestors kin,
I'm thankful for my sister Adalyn,
I'm thankful for peoples divinity,
I'm thankful for my sister Trinity,
I'm thankful for Japan, chopsticks, and tea,
I'm thankful for the greatest homeboy D,
I'm thankful for big meals, good food, and feasts,
I'm thankful for my ex-girlfriend Tranyce,
I'm thankful for firsts, I'll punch you, sue me,
I'm thankful for the very tall Tui,
I'm thankful for rain and windy weather,
I'm thankful for the beautiful Heather,
I'm thankful for her brother named Erick,
And her other brother that is name Ray,
Their whole **** family is quite hysteric,
But hanging with them will brighten my day,
Thankful for the culminating project,
And the fact that I'm done cause they waived this,
I'm thankful for Smash Bros., I'm never rekt,
I'm thankful for wise ol' Mr. Davis,
I'm thankful for teacher Mr. Thompson,
Judo Sensei that knows how to whomp em',
I'm thankful for the roof over my head,
I'm thankful for my blankets and my bed,
I'm thankful for good brownies and hot rolls,
I'm thankful for my cool father Michael,
I'm thankful for past presidents life Ronald Reagan,
I'm thankful for my aunt on my moms side name Megan,
I'm thankful for the police that jail *****,
I'm thankful for my buff uncle Damick,
I'm thankful for lists made of pros and con,
I'm thankful for my other uncle Jon,
I'm thankful for pirate ships matey,
I'm thankful for my old grandpa Tracy,
I'm thankful for envelops that senda,
Letter and money from my grandma Brenda,
I'm thankful for Disney, Belle to Moana,
I'm thankful for my good friend Adriana,
I'm thankful for known facts and secrets, do tell
I'm thankful for a good friend named Miguel,
All these friends are such nice and kind fellas,
I'm thankful for a good friend named Ella,
I'm thankful for cats and their perfect pur,
I'm thankful for our late cat named Ginger,
I'm thankful for good smells and their freshness,
I'm thankful for our current cat precious,
I'm thankful for American and foreign dollah's,
I'm thankful for a black slug that we have named Nala,
I am thankful for Demetri's family,
Will, Dylan, Erick, and sleepy time tea,
Sometimes Nicole has me over for DnD,
I'm thankful for the oxygen coming from the trees,
I'm thankful for hope and the act of wishing,
I'm thankful for the oldest son Christina,
I'm thankful for music, rap, rock, and grunge,
I'm thankful for breakfast, dinner, and lunch,
I'm thankful for all family and friends,
I'm thankful for forgiveness and amends,
I'm thankful for X and the dead Lil Peep,
I'm thankful for the awake and asleep,
I'm thankful for skittles and good candy,
And Eminem, Marshall Mathers, dandy,
I'm thankful for swervers and people that stay in their own lane,
I'm thankful for Nirvana and specifically Kurt Cobain,
I'm thankful for drawing, painting, grass, and moss,
I'm thankful for the best painter, Bob Ross,
I'm thankful for Karate and Thai Chi,
Judo, Jeet-Kun-Do, and of course, Bruce Lee,
I'm thankful for drinks and fun house parties,
I'm thankful for squirm words like, "Farties",
I'm thankful for heavy metal and silence,
I'm thankful for Altoids, bubblegum, and mints,
I'm thankful for manga, comics, and novels,
Anime, and problems that are solvable,
I'm thankful for the nice clothes on my back,
I'm thankful for a great actor, Jack Black,
I'm thankful for watching the poem just go,
I'm thankful for Panic! at the disco,
I'm thankful for the singing and the dance,
I'm thankful for My Chemical Romance,
I'm thankful for all the lord of the rings,
I'm thankful for the books by Stephen King,
I'm thankful for the high highs and low lows,
I'm thankful for the greatest Burnham, Bo,
I'm thankful for zoos and the skilled handlers,
I'm thankful for the great Adam *******,
I'm thankful for the truthful and liars,
I'm thankful for great Robin Doubtfire,

I'm thankful for that feeling that's serene,
When you're chest to chest with one that will lean,
Towards you at any given moment,
And will give you love and their condolence,
And then they flee to somewhere else,
And you end up being someone else,
And they end up seeing someone else,
So your heart just gives up and melts,
But whatever feeling I'm feeling,
If I am feeling then I'm grateful,
Emotions must be constantly reeling in,
So I don't get lost in the dull sense of numb.
Thank You

Dearest jewels of my crown motherhood
Go to the nearest FBI office
Accuse all you call friends of a hate crime drugging you without you knowing to make you feel **** and think you are nuts hallucinogens and methamphetamine s do that
Do not go to psychiatrist they will trash you
your Mom and remove your parental rights forever a Susan and Arthur and Elizabeth already bought you from Haralsmbios a human trafficking psychopath sadist torturer like kiriaki and many more in Greece
Those you trust here in USA hide Crimes they are a team of murderers and thieves since 1980
They assimilated Jeff and John through drugs
Free yourselves.

They all are your deadly enemies they document all lies half truths use assassination of character and fear of your Mom to hide their crimes

They are who lie divide you and plan to ****** your Mom too for financial gain.
They made credit cards with your name in it to finance murders for hire ..
And tell you it's Mom buying thousands of dollars in clothes that's a lie from Satan
They are black mailing you.
to extort money to **** Mom.
~~
Remove your blind folds fight for your freedom take your children run to FBI office use me as a living witness I am on your side.
I love you all my children.
~~
~My Story poem.~
The greatest deception is calling everyone
a friend
Today I admit that from ancient times
am blessed to have had his intimate
piece of heart
thus my life was worth while.
I declare that even here
I was blessed with this
Outer Limits De-Javus;
~~
I am forever a grateful Mom,
granted to sacrifice my
love, my life along with everyone
I ever loved the most.

There's still justice to be granted; triumph waived
with defeat acknowledged.
Not only have I waived and yielded to every misfortune
but was trashed to the eleven winds as my evil enemy
lied to divide me among my dearly beloved offspring
planning as in above the law to profit from my demise.
~~~
By: Karijinbba
All Rights Reserved.

On a trip,
to Thailand,
from Egypt,
to an island,

had a layover in Dubai,
so I decided to visit a friend,
a beautiful traveler such as myself,
in Dubai the Hyatt was her residence,

I got off my flight,
and cleared customs,
took the Metro to Palm Deira,
then emerged into the thick Emirates air,

felt like I’d emerged into a tide pool,
the air was damp and salty,
as if I’d submerged my whole body,
into summer sun heated waters,

walked a long short walk to the hotel,
and entered the oversized lobby,
Dubai lives off of air conditioning,
and the climate control was welcoming,

my friend came down to meet me,
dressed as beautiful as ever,
a flight attendant she was very attentive,
we hugged and she invited me to the rooftop pool,

on the rooftop I changed into my swimming trunks,
because even though it was just I layover,
I bring my trunks with me everywhere,
because you never know when you’re gonna swim,

she stayed poolside,
gazed at me apparently amused,
after a quick dip I emerged refreshed,
toweled off and we talked,

she asked me why I write,
she asked me what my goal was,
I told her I didn’t know why I write,
or really what my goal was,

she pressed on,
and insisted there must be a reason,
so I answered her question,
with the following reasoning,

“I guess I write,
so that our collective humanity,
has some sort of documentation,
of our emotional history.
But I don’t have a goal,
and I am not flattered when people compliment my work,
because I don’t really consider my writings mine,
I consider them the world’s.
So when some says my writing saved their life,
I feel awkward because God wrote it not me,
still I say thank you because I don’t know what else to say.
The books I’ve written are bigger than me,
millions of people have read the poems I’ve penned,
but most people that that have read my poems,
wouldn’t recognize me on the street if they walked past me,
see it’s not me they know it’s the writing I’ve written,
which means readers think they know me,
but they don’t know me at all.”

There’s a moment of silence,
on that rooftop,
all the lights of Dubai,
reflecting in her dark molasses eyes,

and I ask this,

“Do you ever feel trapped?”

She seems a bit perplexed by the question.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,
here you are,
in The Emirates.
You are constantly on call for an airline,
you could be called to go any minute,
so you’re in a constant state of defense.
Plus,
this whether,
I mean,
it’s unbearably hot here,
and people here are completely dependent on A/C,
plus there are cameras everywhere always watching,
and to open almost any door here you need a key,

it seems there’s so much security that nothing and no one is free.”

“No I don’t feel trapped.”

Her answer comes too fast,
as if she doesn’t want to take the time to think about it,
and speaking of time,
my flight to Thailand is quickly approaching.

I change out of my shorts,
put my ‘normal’ clothes back on,
khaki shorts and navy shirt,
so that I can cruise through without being bothered,

but I am bothered,
because I can’t even touch her,
this is Dubai and despite the pretty lights,
this place is not Liberal it’s Conservative Islam,

and everything is forbidden.

We make our way across the rooftop poolside,
walking on plastic grass under canvas canopies,
we get to the outside door she slides her plastic key card,
and we enter back into the climate controlled insides,

we reach the elevator,
she taps her key card again,
the elevator opens,
and we start to descend,

inside the lift I can’t help myself,
she’s too attractive,
so I try to place a kiss on her shoulder,
she pulls away.

“Aaron no!”

“What?”

“We can’t,
not here,
I can get in trouble,
seriously.”

She nods discretely to the close captioned camera,
recording our every movement in the corner,
I guess the only thing we can exchange here is glances,
the system still hasn’t found a way to stop us from making eye contact,

and eye contact is the only contact we’re allowed to make,
everything else is forbidden,
heck they’d probably even outlaw looks if they could,
the elevator opens,

we’re back in the lobby,
she offers to walk me to the metro,
I obviously accept her offer,
I would accept any offer she ever gave me,

We emerge back into that thick Emirate air,
that damp and salty tide pool,
back into that traffic and incessant noise,
back into the smell of the fruits of the sea,

I ask her why it smells so much like fish out there,
she tells me there’s a fish market across the street,
she tells me the Pakistanis shove fish in her face during the say,
and have absolutely no respect for personal space.

we reach the doors of the metro station,
already we can feel the cool artificial A/C breeze,
and I’m again reminded how fake this city is,
fake people fake air fake grass fake plastic trees,

seems she’s the only thing real here,
and we are about to say goodbye,
we hug quickly before we depart,
don’t want to catch the attention of the camera’s eye,

she waives goodbye,
as I descend back down the escalator,
I want to tell her that I don’t like goodbye waives,
because that’s exactly what I saw before I lost my sister,

in other words the last time I ever saw my little sister,
was when she waived goodbye to me,
before she drowned in the fish pond,
actually that’s the only memory I have of my sister,

but that’s another story for another day,
that’s a different trip entirely,
that’s something that happened long ago,
something that now’s a distant memory,

anyways that’s why I wanted to tell the girl in Dubai,
“Please don’t waive goodbye,
because that makes me worried,
that we’ll never see each other again.”,

but it was too late,
the hands of time had already pushed us away,
the escalator was already creating too much space between us,
I guess I can hope that we’ll see each other again in another time and place,

but for now,

I’m on a trip,
to Thailand,
from Egypt,
to an Island,

and the planes coming,
and it’s almost time to board,
and you can’t go back to a passed moment,
because the only constant is change and the only direction is forward,

so be forewarned,
if you love someone tell them right then,
because even when things are just beginning,
everything and every one is only a moment from the very end…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Just like Goddess Kali
I am feared when not
understood
my enemies know my loving passion are my kids
those demons slander me
fearing the mother
goddess in me
I gave life and inadvertedly heartbroken waived it
I give life
birthed my children
against all adds
motherhood apeaces me
injustice enrages my dance
I am Goddess Kali Karijin
~~
Precious daughters
Elena Rose Jeanette fear not
I save I protect I write
it's my frenzied dance
surounded by demons ferocious
you and me won many a
gruesome wars
to protect you three your
children alike my light
I have deamed
Remember Mother Kali
I love you miss you
more and more
and for you my life I lay
~~~.
The goddess mother
(excerpt)
~estranged from kids ~
~~~~~~
"The stars are blotted out,
    The clouds are covering clouds,
It is darkness vibrant, sonant.
    In the roaring, whirling wind
Are the souls of a million lunatics
    Just loose from the prison-house,
Wrenching trees by the roots,
    Sweeping all from the path...
The sea has joined the fray,
    And swirls up mountain-waves,
To reach the pitchy sky.
    The flash of lurid light
Reveals on every side
    A thousand,
thousand shades
Of Death begrimed and black."

love & motherhood apeace me.
~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
inspired
by Hindi ink Durga-Kali
Shiva Lord's Wife
revised 06-5-19
~~~~

As the police
arranged their shield
You stood upfront
and raised your fist.

Your demand
for humanitarian reforms
was answered by beatings
yet you resisted

and struggled
and clenched your fist
and waived your flag
as thousand marched across the streets.

Stones trailed behind you.
I'm glad you're not the type of woman
who burn a life
in the bar

in apathy.

Wreaths of mist swirled up into the cold air
As I looked at my grave in despair.
It was in disrepair and could not be saved.

Am I such a depraved knave that
I was waived my rights for a better place of interment?
I can not get over the convalesce
that this will be my permanent address.

I played the saint.
A saint I'm ain't.
No one heard my plaints.
But I heard your complaints.
Gave you tainted words.

No wonder I am where I am.

Wreaths of mist swirled up into the cold air
as I said my prayers.
A foursquare refusal to yield
to this grave, to this field.

To life and all it's strife.
To death and it's last breath.

I blocked my ears to the whispers
and it did stop the fate spinners.

Leaving destiny
at my mercy.

Ultra violent
visions
of
grandeur
gracefully
spill the blood
of lost innocence
in the lust of the moment
I lunged for her throat
swallowed her moans
and left her writhing
in bed
beating her heart out
bleeding her love out
battling demons
of my ****** up
electromagnetic
heart
I left a war
in her head
waived the white flag
and walked away

Like God
leaving her to
her own
destructive
device

*Her Body
Her Weapon
Her Choice

"See you soon"
And he left
Didn't turn again
It was it.

He said,
"Just look up, I'm always there"
I believed in him
So I did.

"Is Dad home?"
I asked her
She just smiled,
"Look outside"

I looked up
Saw a plane
Waved my hand
As if he could see me.

My faith in him
Was as high as the sky.
He promised
"I'll be back"

Five months is long
But I waited.
I've waived to the sky
Even at midnight.

When I'm sad,
I wear his shirt
Which he said,
"Wear this and you'll feel my warmth"

I've worn it,
Every single day.
I've longed for your warmth
That's real and alive

The day has come
You'd be home
Timing is rude
As well as you

You said you'd be back
Yes you did
Only in cloth
But not with flesh

One day
I remembered you
Everything about you
I just wept 'til I fell asleep

I woke up
With your shirt on
I jumped from my flat
"I'll see you soon, Dad"