4 days ago

i no longer pray for forgiveness.
i pray for growth.
and for me

that is enough.

maybe i have found myself
#girl   #lost   #forgiveness   #new   #growth   #pray   #found  
Meg Howell
Meg Howell
5 days ago

You were found in my ignorances

The things I chose not to see in myself,
you found in me

This contagious, spontaneous, fun house walk-through, reflecting only the compassionate parts of us two

Mar 13

Whatever happens - I am ready
No fears, only excitement
Whatever happens, nothing bothers
Here I am, no suffering, no more

Embracing every obstacle
Like in a game
Even if I got too much out of the frame
Whatever happens, I am ready now
No questioning, no doubts
Playing around
So happy
Being me
That's what I like to be

#love   #happiness   #forward   #proud   #found   #looking  

I again in me am lost,
Restrained by the sound of my voice in the wind.
There is no tamed charm or lucid movement,
That brings forth a natural act within the play.
The game is always on and the challenge is difficult at best,
What do we succeed for when we become everyone else?
When individual specialness becomes a back boated myth to nowhere,
Is it irony or sarcasm to ones idioms that makes the difference?
A play everyone plays,
A test at one point everyone fails.
We are all not complex,
But neither are we all simple either.
So the question remains,
What are we?
Frivolous travelers looking for a place to lay our head,
Or someone special to enjoy the rest of our lives with.
The question feels unanswered,
And lost feels so much clearer than being found.

#self   #helpless   #life   #lost   #incomplete   #found  

I'm very good at pretending to be happy
But somehow you know I'm sad
When no one else does

My heart is very broken inside me
But somehow you mended it
When no one else could

I'm easily tired of this world and its people
But somehow you make me smile
When no one else can

I'm very good at hide and seek
But somehow you found me
When no one else did

#love   #hiding   #found  

It's only when you lose yourself,
Question yourself,
Fight yourself,
That you truly understand yourself.
For deep inside,
Despite what you may feel,
You know who you are,
And you love that person.
For they are caring.
They are damaged.
They may be lost,
But they love.
They feel.
And they are good.

#love   #self   #lost   #hurt   #care   #found  
Feb 27

Falling, catching
Falling, catching
Falling, catching, then
You hit the ground, and until you're found
You'll never fall again.

I promise I'm not nearly as serious and brooding as these poems might make me out to be.
#love   #fall   #falling   #safe   #free   #find   #found   #again   #catching  
Feb 17

Someone once told me that life is just a series of moments,
that the past is merely a story we tell ourselves before we fall asleep.
And so I look at him and I am reminded that I am not who I was a moment ago,
and that I shouldn't try to be.
I fear a reality of fiction and distortion,
where my life is a blurry foreign film and he is the fourth wall,
always broken.
I have written of lovers and their seemingly intangible hands for so long that my concept of time is impressionable,
one might even call it sacrilegious.
I have bled dry every metaphor capable of embodiment that I wonder if it ever meant anything,
I wonder if anything ever will.

I want to write him into a scripture of meaning, of something other than illustrated angish.
I want to write about something that isn't love,
that isn't a thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.
I want to write about the way he leads me into rock pools,
like a child being baptized.

I look at him and I am reminded of the ocean,
as if his blood can only move in waves without devotion,
more like instinct.
I want to write about something that isn't love,
because this is more like inspiration.
This is not knowing what could possibly come after his tide falls back.

I am aware that literature always ruins the ending,
that finishing a book mid sentence is the only way to avoid the loss of its final words.
I am aware that beautiful things can never stay,
but maybe that's what makes them beautiful.
He is a picture of my perfect faith,
but he doesn't make me want to believe in religion,
because I know god hates the competition.

For so long I had thought that I was never going to feel anything new,
that I had exceeded the depth of emotions,
like anything that follows can only be a lesser version of something previously felt,
but here I gawk with a mouthful of blasphemous teeth.

I couldn't tell you about the snowstorm he evokes within my chest,
nor the locust plague that raid in his name.
Because this is not a love story,
at least not just yet.
This is a man that has grown roots where I have only planted seeds,
a man that scripts his stories on the soles of his feet.
And so I look at him,
and I am reminded that I am not who I was a moment ago,
and that I shouldn't try to be.

#love   #god   #lost   #art   #sex   #inspiration   #ocean   #men   #found  
Feb 14

lost in the moment
lying in utter despair
waiting to be found.

#poem   #poetry   #haiku   #lost   #dark   #despair   #found  
Feb 6

A swarm of baby snowflakes
Paraded merrily into my backyard today.
I flew outside at the sight of their arrival, barefoot
To enjoy their cool company
Before they decided to travel elsewhere.
They nibbled and tickled me
Upon my bare arms and pink cheeks
Causing me to spin in place
twirling, laughing at the shimmery grey sky
That they call home.
And it could have been the fever
that gave me those euphoric feelings,
But more likely than not
I had found a sliver of my heart again.

#friends   #broken   #sad   #heart   #depressed   #happy   #lost   #winter   #snow   #found  
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